Page 74 of Drive Me Wild
“Well, you know I’m happy to talk anything through,” Richard says with a nod. “Take a look before you cross your T’s and dot your I’s.”
I try to change the subject, sensing Theo’s brewing emotions, but I don’t get the change to before he snaps, “Yeah, sure. Just like before, right?”
“Exactly,” Richard agrees, not at all catching onto Theo’s fighting words.
I would not describe the laugh my boyfriend lets out as nice. If anything, it’s a little maniacal, especially when he adds, “You seriously think anything can be like how it was before?”
“Nothing’s changed, Theo,” Richard says, his calm voice more likely irritating Theo than balancing him.
“Everything’schanged,” Theo yells, throwing his hands up. “Look around you, Richard. My dad’s not here. Youare. Ever since you two started dating, everything’s changed. Instead of being a friend to me—hell, a friend to my dad—you’re dating my mum and acting as if that position was always rightfully yours. Are you that fucking blind that you don’t realize things can never go back to the way they were?”
Silence covers everyone like a blanket—the only noise the crackle and hiss from the flames before us. Theo’s leg shakes at rapid-fire speed against mine, his nervous energy ready to erupt and cause the heat of the fire pit to look cool in comparison. I’ve heard Theo swear, curse, and yell, but I’ve never seen him as visibly agitated as he is now. The vein in his neck pulses and he clenches his jaw so tightly, I’m nervous his teeth will crack.
“Take a deep breath, Theodore,” Charlotte says sternly. “Richard and Mum are allowed to be happy.”
“Of course they are,” Theo says flatly. “Can’t have Dad, so may as well go for the next best thing, right, Mum? His best friend?”
“Don’t talk to your mother that way, Theo,” Richard says, raising his voice. “If you have a problem with me, then take it up with me. Not her.”
“Hey, Richard?” The sharpness of his voice makes me shift in my chair. “Fuck off.”
“Theo!” Mrs. Walker cries out. Tears threaten to spill down her round cheeks and she looks upward, as if heaven will have the answer on how to handle this. “Have some respect. Please.”
He whips his head around so he’s facing his mum again. His lips thin with rage—they’re pursed so tightly the color in them is fading. “Respect? Don’t talk to me about respect, Mum. You?—”
“Theo,” I interrupt him. “Take a walk and cool off.”
Charlotte’s simultaneously fighting off tears and the urge to throttle her brother. “Jesus. Why can’t you let Mum be happy? Dad’s gone. Being an asshole isn’t going to change that.”
“Oh. Wow. Thanks for the update. I had no idea Dad’s gone since none of you talk about him.Ever.It’s like he never existed.”
“That’s not true,” Charlotte says fiercely. Her voice is harsh, but a shakiness has edged its way in.
“Isn’t it? I work my arse off three hundred and sixty-five days a year to make sure Dad’s legacy lives on. What do you do? Oh, right. You welcomed Richard in like a goddamn understudy for Dad. Well, enjoy. I hope you’re allreallyhappy.”
Theo bolts from his chair and stomps across the deck without another word. I wait a few moments before noiselessly excusing myself to find him.
Part of me wants to locate him, drag his arse back, and make him work things out with his family. But the other part of me—the realistic side—knows that’s not an option. I can support him,but in the end, this is his fight, not mine. Family are the people who love you at your worst just as much as they do when you’re at your best. It can be an uncomfortable reality.
I find him pacing the driveway with his shoulders hunched forward. My heart sinks as I study him—his sharp cheekbones stained with tears that glisten against the moonlight. I’m not sure how much time passes before he notices me. Once he does, he silently makes his way over to me, draws me into his arms, and buries his head into the crook of my neck.
“That was a shit storm, eh? Made my mum cry,” he murmurs after a minute. “Are they alright?”
“They will be.” I run my hand up and down his back, loving how tight and toned he feels against my palms and fingers. “Are you okay, baby?”
Theo doesn’t respond right away, and when he does, his voice is low and laced with uncertainty. “I’ve never lashed out like that.”
An unspeakable pain grips me by the throat. There’s nothing I can say or do to make him feel better. It’s the worst kind of heartbreak. I want to put him in a bubble where nothing and no one can hurt him. Wrap him up so tightly that he forgets about his pain and only feels a calm and everlasting bliss. Instead, I just press my forehead against his and whisper, “I’m sorry.”
“Do you think I’m a terrible person?”
I nod. “Yes, but only because you sleep with socks on.”
“Cheeky.” He chuckles. “What about them? Do they think I’m horrible?”
Shaking my head, I rub my hands up and down his arms. “No, Theo, they don’t. They may want to kill you sometimes, but they still love you.”
“I sure as hell make it difficult.”
