Page 100 of Drive Me Crazy
“I missed you, too,” I say without hesitation. “A lot.”
The corners of his eyes crinkle as his lips curl into a smile.
“Let’s chat on the couch.” Blake shrugs off his coat and hangs it on the rack next to the front door. “More comfortable.”
He walks to the family room like he’s been here a milliontimes before. The two of us sit down, sinking into the couch’s comfy cushions. We both start speaking, ending in overlapping awkward chuckles.
“You first,” Blake offers. His fingers tap against his thighs faster than I can type.
“It’s … it’s been really hard dealing with everything,” I start, my voice unusually quiet. “Especially without you.”
“I’m so—”
“I know you weren’t trying to hurt me, Blake,” I cut him off mildly. “I’m not mad about that. I mean, I am—you’re an idiot and definitely shouldn’t have done that—but I know you weren’t doing it maliciously. You were put in a shitty position and I know I’d try to protect you in the same way. Maybe not so publicly, but still.”
“I am a bloody fucking idiot,” he says simply.
“Yeah,” I agree, “but you just so happen to be my idiot.”
“You have no idea how sorry I am.” Blake’s eyes dart to meet mine, his pupils dilated. “I’m the reason the world knows what you went through. You trusted me and I royally blew it. I’ll never forgive myself for hurting you.”
“I watched that art forgery documentary you told me about,” I blurt out. “I thought it was really good.”
Blake runs his fingers through his hair and glances around like he’s looking for answers. I’m sure he thinks I’m off my rocker with that sudden topic change. “Glad you liked it, love.”
“Do you think the gallery owner knew what was going on?”
“Oh, for sure.” He nods animatedly. “There’s no way they couldn’t have known.”
Yep. That’s what I thought, too. I tuck my hair behind my ears, trying to work out the best way to explain my feelings. “I guess the point I’m trying to make is that there’s no one else I’d watch an art documentary for. Even though I was upset with you, I still watched it because I knew how much you liked it. I wanted to be able to talk to you about it. Relationships arehard and messy, and we’re both going to fuck up and make mistakes. That’s life. But no matter how complicated shit gets, it’s you I want by my side. It’s always going to be you, Blake.”
I can see the tension in his shoulders evaporating at my words.
“I love you, by the way,” I add, not wanting to forget the most important part. In retrospect, I realize I should’ve led with that. “A lot.”
Blake inhales sharply as a flush creeps up his neck. “You what?”
“I love you,” I repeat. The words taste sweet as they roll off my tongue. “I’m desperately, wildly, hopelessly, and crazily in love with you.”
He echoes it back, making sure he’s hearing me correctly. I watch him as the words sink in and it’s the purest thing I’ve ever seen.
“I love you, too.” His eyes focus intently on mine, and I’ve never felt more exposed without losing a single piece of clothing. “We’ll get through this together, okay? I made a wreck out of things but I’ll be by your side every step of the way.”
“Pinky promise?”
Blake interlocks our pinkies together. “Pinky promise, baby.”
I always thought love was supposed to be flowers and candlelit dinners, but it’s not. It’s watching documentaries that bore me to tears just because Blake likes them. It’s him ordering waffles when he wants eggs just so I can have a bite. It’s fighting over who gets the right side of the bed and leaving parties early to cuddle on the couch. It’s the big stuff and the little stuff and all the things in between.
“I listened to the podcast,” I continue, realizing we haven’t even talked aboutthat. “It’s probably going to get the most downloads the show’s ever gotten.”
“Yeah? What’d you think?”
“Asfar as apologies go, it’s a twelve out of ten.” I nod in approval. “I can’t believe you talked about your anxiety and your parents. I’m really proud of you.”
“Yeah, well, love makes you do crazy shit, doesn’t it?” he says with an unabashed grin.
The butterflies in my stomach settle down, safe in the knowledge that I get to tell this man I love him for the rest of my life.
