Page 97 of Ruthless Rebel

Cash has been living here at the house with him for a couple of months now, and let’s just say, the two of them are like peas in a pod.

“Conrad,” Asher yells across the room, getting my brother’s attention. “How many times do I have to tell you, to keep that little heathen away from my girl.”

Elle and I share a smirk, more than used to this argument between them these days, as she bends down to console Cassie about the bear, and Jace just smirks at the Dark Prince by my side.

“I told you, he likes her, and his therapist said it’s good for him to mingle with other kids his age,” he shrugs, as Riley hides a smile at his side.

The two of them have gone from strong to stronger, her being a constant rock at his side, and him supporting her dream of dance. Jace and I even scouted a location in town for him to buy her a dance studio, to propose with on Valentine’s Day next month. And when I asked why not a diamond, he looked at me and laughed, saying she doesn’t need a diamond, she needs a dance school.

Though Jace is the one who fostered Cash, Riley has been right there with him, and doesn’t shy away from the hard times like most people would. “Cash,” she calls, gesturing him over to them, and I know she is going to, once again, give him a gentle scolding about damaging other people’s property.

“Yeah, he will be setting her teddies on fire next if you have anything to do with it,” Asher snaps back, making Cash spin back toward us with a grin.

“Fire?” He exclaims excitedly, but then Riley scolds his name again. “I mean, sorry, Cassie,” he murmurs, not sounding sorry in the slightest, and I can’t help but smirk, as Elle demands us all to take a seat.

Cash fights his way to be seated next to Cassie, and Ash mutters something that sounds something close to making him disappear, and I can’t help but lean in and grin. “You know that kid is totally going to be your son-in-law one day, right?” I ask, and his head snaps toward me in outrage.

“Over my dead body,” he grits, glaring at the five year old boy like he can make him disappear, but I focus back on everyone else with a shake of my head.

The rest of our family take a seat around the table. Cash next to Cassie, Marcus next to Elle, Riley next to Jace, Arthur next to Helen, and Zack next to her. When I flick my eyes next to the empty space beside Zack, I frown.

“No Lily?” I ask, and Helen’s eyes turn watery at the mention of her daughter, as Arthur shakes his head.

“I tried to get her to come, but she refused,” Zack cuts in softly, looking pained by his sister’s grief. “I left Max to keep an eye on her.”

It’s the same response we’ve had any time we have all gathered together, and just like all those other times, the guilt threatens to swallow me whole. I am the reason Logan is dead, and killing Vivian didn’t change that. I know it and Lily knows it, which is why she probably can’t bear to be around us. Asher and I will always be a constant reminder of her brother, and I don’t blameher for keeping her distance.

I feel Ash’s hand on my thigh under the table, squeezing it gently, knowing I will be internally punishing myself, and I let his touch ground me. Both of us have been seeing a therapist, to help us deal with the grief of losing Logan, and we both know that we just have to take it day by day. I knew today would be hard, harder than all the others, but we are still here, and we still have the rest of our family to live for.

Elle quickly moves to start serving dinner, but Marcus scolds her, making her sit down, as he does it for her, bringing out the ridiculous amount of food from the kitchen, so we can all dig in. We eat, catch up, and then share stories about Logan, and with every one, I get to know him and miss him even more than I already did. Yet it’s the perfect day.

By the time Ash and I head up to our room we are both exhausted, and when we slip into our room, I can’t help but let my eyes stray to the picture above our bed. It’s one of the ones Logan took of the three of us on Christmas Eve, snuggled up in our pajamas in this very room. Every time I look at it, it’s like a punch to the gut at what we could have had, yet still it brings a smile to my face at the memory.

Asher moves to grab those very pajamas out of where we keep them in the bottom drawer, having decided on our own little ritual for Logan’s anniversary, and we both make quick work of getting changed into them. Then we climb into bed, and he snuggles into my side, as I turn on the TV. It doesn’t take me long to find the film we are looking for, and soon enough we are settling back into the cushions to remember him in a way I know he would love.

Home Alonestarts to play on the screen, and the two of us laugh and cry our way through it, wishing Logan was here between us.

Then we strip each other out of our clothes, and I fuck him slowly, basking in our love and pain, until we are both falling apart. We might have lost our light, but at least we have each other’s company in the dark.

THE END.