Page 89 of Taking the Pitch
I can see you’re reading these. Please, Mills. I just need to know you’re ok.
Read.
Me
I’m sorry.
Read.
I sigh and throw my phone onto the couch. Plopping down beside it and pinching the bridge of my nose to ward off the headache that’s developing. How did everything go to shit so quickly?
My phone starts to vibrate, indicating a call. I scramble to grab it and check the screen, only to feel a wave of disappointment wash over me.
MOM
I want to hit ignore, but the urge to talk to someone wins out. Sometimes a man just needs his mom, and this is one of those times.
“Hey, Mom.”
“Hi, baby. I was just calling to check in and see if maybe you convinced Amelia to join us for Thanksgiving?”
The back of my eyes start to burn at the hopeful tone in her voice.
“It’s just no one should be alone for the holidays, even if they’re okay with it,” she continues. “And I’m going through the final checklist to make sure I have enough food for everyone. Does Amelia even like turkey? It’ll be fine. We have ham too if she doesn’t.”
“Mom,” I choke out, voice cracking.
“Judd, what’s wrong, baby?”
“Mom, I, we, she. I fucked up, Mom,” I finally get out.
She doesn’t chastise me for my language like she normally would, just asks me to tell her what happened.
It takes me some time to get through the story of what happened at the library, but I eventually do and when I finish, she’s quiet.
“Mom?”
“I’m here, Juddson, just processing what you’ve told me.”
Juddson, she used my full name, which only happens when she’s mad or disappointed in me.
Fucking great.
I’m just letting people down left and right.
“Do you think I’m a bad person, too?”
“Oh, honey, no. You’re not a bad person, you just made a bad decision. You are human and humans are allowed to make mistakes. Was your mistake worse than some? Yes, but the important thing is youlearnedfrom it and have grown tremendously since then.”
“What if she never forgives me?”
Mom sighs. “Then you grieve what you had and try to move forward, but I hope you don’t have to.”
I can’t lose her. “But she’s my person.”
“I know. I saw it from the moment you walked in with her. The same way I saw it with Kessler and Lucy. Give her some time Judd. Give her some space to sort through all the emotions she’s probably going through. Just let her know you’re still there for her if she needs you.”
She doesn’t want me. I saw the look in her eyes as she was getting into her car. The look of betrayal. She trusted me, let me into her closely guarded heart. And in an instant that trust was destroyed, and I have no clue how I’m going to rebuild it.
