Page 91 of Catching the Coach
Marlene shakes her head. “He’s hurt, which unfortunately came out as anger. But he’s not mad at you.” She takes another drink of her coffee, then pats my hand. “Come on, let's go for that walk. You’ll feel better getting some fresh air.”
Taking one last sip of my coffee, I slide off the stool and slip on my shoes. After locking the door, we head off down the road at a leisurely pace. We walk two blocks in silence before Marlene speaks. “We missed you and Hudson at Sunday dinner.”
Truth be told, we missed them too. Hudson asked about it but didn’t push the issue when I told him that it probably wouldn’t be a good idea for us to go this week. This ‘pause’ has been hard on him too, and the guilt I feel for him having to go through any of this is immense.
“I didn’t think we would be welcomed,” I admit, biting down on my bottom lip.
Marlene scoffs. “You’re always welcome. You and Hudson are a part of this family.” She stops and smells a rose that's growing between the slats of a fence. She gives me a smile and continues on, “You’re going to go through rough patches, lord knows Henry and I have been through our fair share.” She links her arm through mine. “What matters is that you learn from them and move on. Grow together. Life isn’t going to be perfect and peaceful all the time.” She pauses, and gives me a look. “Kessler told me about your parents. You know first hand how hard life can be”
I nod, kicking at a rock in our path. We watch it skip down the sidewalk and drop off into the road. “I’m just so scared I’ve messed things up and he’ll never forgive me,” I whisper.
Marlene stops walking and turns to face me, putting her hands on my shoulders. “No,” she says in a stern voice I’ve never heard from her. “There’s nothing to forgive if you ask me. You had every right to choose when to tell Kessler about your past, if at all. The way he found out was terrible, but that is not your fault.” Her sharp eyes give me a look that says ‘don’t argue with me I’m right’. “The way my son reacted towards you about the whole thing is not something I’m happy with him about, and I told him just as much on Sunday.”
My eyebrows shoot up in surprise. Marlene defended me to her own son. My mother would have never done that. Tears well up in my eyes and I swipe at them with the back of my hand. “No more of that dear,” Marlene tells me. She links our arms back together, and we continue on our walk.
“Jared wasn’t always like the way he is now,” I say softly.
Marlene pats my hand in the crook of her arm. “You don’t have to tell me anything, dear.”
I nod. “I know, I just–I feel like I owe you an explanation.”
Marlene shakes her head. “You don’t owe anyone anything. But if you need an understanding ear to listen. I’ll gladly be that for you.”
I nod, continuing with my story. “He wasn’t always a dick. Did he have an ego? Absolutely, I don’t know a baseball player who doesn’t.” I smirk. “Even Kessler.”
She throws her head back and laughs, making me chuckle. My heart feeling a little bit lighter, I continue on, “He started to change the closer the draft got. He became distant, ignoring me.” I shake my head at the memories. “I broke it off with him the summer of our junior year. He didn’t really seem to care much that I broke up with him, just that I did it in front of his friends.”
I leave out the part where he told me in front of said friends that I was a horrible lay. That he just stayed with me because he felt sorry for me because my own parents didn’t love me. Something I regret confiding in him to this day.
“Of course, about a month after I broke things off, I found out I was pregnant. At first he denied it, saying Hudson wasn’t his and that I just wanted money from him because he was going to be high in the draft.” Marlene lets out a disgusted noise and I nod in agreement. “When I told him I’d gladly take a paternity test, he said it didn’t matter because he wanted nothing to do with either of us anyway.”
I feel Marlene squeeze my arm and I let out a deep breath. “I dropped it after that. I didn’t want him in Hudson’s life if he was just going to make him feel unwanted. I grew up like that and I wasn’t about to have my son go through it too.”
“Good for you, standing up for your son and yourself,” Marlene chimes in.
I give her a weak smile. “I didn’t feel proud of myself at the time, but looking back, I should have been. Anyways, you know what happened with my parents. So I won’t bore you with that again.”
She makes a tsking sound and shakes her head. “They should be ashamed of themselves.”
I shrug, and leave it at that.
We’re almost back to my house, when I look up and see Kessler’s truck in the driveway, he’s perched on the tailgate, waiting. I come to a sudden stop and a gasp escapes me. Marlene follows my gaze, and she lets out a little huff.
Kessler must feel eyes on him, because he picks his head up and looks around. When his gaze lands on where we are a half block away, our eyes lock and the air grows heavy with uncertainty. Even from here, I can see the dark circles under his eyes. His T-shirt is rumpled and his beard looks thick and unkept. We stare at each other, neither one moving towards the other.
Marlene clears her throat, and I jump, forgetting that she was there. She gives me a smile and tugs me forward. “Come on dear, let’s go see what my son has to say for himself.”
CHAPTERTWENTY-THREE
kessler
My eyes takeLucy in like they’re on a desert island and she’s the water they’re craving. Her hair is down and flowing around her shoulders making her look like the goddess she is. The mint color she’s wearing brings the green out in her eyes. I can’t take my eyes off her as her and my mom make their way to me.
Hopping down from my tailgate, I put my phone, which I replaced the day after I broke it, in my pocket and wait for them to reach me. I tried calling and texting her, but was met with silence. So I reached out to Kara, who was less than happy with me. Not about punching Jared out though. No, she applauded me for that. The way I treated Lucy however, that she chewed my ass for. She informed me after my ass chewing that Lucy had an unfortunate incident with her phone. She suggested I give Lucy some space, even though that was the last thing I wanted, no matter what I said when I was angry.
So here I am, three long, excruciating days later hoping I can make this right. When Lucy finally reaches me, it takes everything in me not to reach out and pull her into my arms. She stops a few feet away from me, arms around her middle, not looking at me but past me. It reminds me of the way she looked at me when I unexpectedly showed up at that first practice. My stomach sinks knowing she’s rebuilt some of her walls that I worked hard to tear down.
I risk a glance at my mom and I’m met with that motherly stare. You know the one that says you’ve really done it now? My mom turns to Lucy and wraps her in a hug. For a moment I feel a twinge of jealousy that my mom can so easily embrace her when that’s all I want to do.
