Page 31 of Catching the Coach
“Uh yeah. I had to fly back early for something.”
Layla laughs. “Because that’s not evasive at all.”
“I helped out with a little league team and they have their championship game tomorrow. I don’t want to miss it.”
“Oh, that’s adorable. You know that would make a really good PR article for you and your team.”
I raise an eyebrow at her.
“Sorry. Just my marketing brain. You probably don’t want the attention.”
I nod my head. “Yeah. I’m not even telling anyone I’m going to be there. I’m hoping I can stay hidden until the end. Less distraction that way.”
She nods her head in understanding.
The fasten seatbelt sign clicks on and the captain comes over the speaker letting us know we’re preparing for the descent, halting our conversation. Layla looks much more relaxed this time and I sit back in my seat going over the plan in my head one more time for tomorrow.
* * *
I’m just walking into my apartment when my phone goes off. I look down at the Caller ID and see my mom’s name. Well better face the music I guess. I set my bags down by my door and hit the answer button on my phone. “Hey, Mom.”
“Hi sweetie, are you free to chat? I know you’re probably with the guys, but I was hoping to finish our conversation from earlier.”
I set my keys down on the counter and head straight to the fridge and grab a beer. I twist the top off and take a few swigs before answering.
“I’m free to chat, I’m actually back at my apartment.” Heading into the living room, I plop down on my couch, relaxing back into the cushions.
“Oh, I thought you were scheduled to fly back tomorrow morning.” Surprise laces her voice.
I take another swig of my beer, before sitting up and setting it on the table and grabbing the remote to switch on the TV. “The team is, but I caught a flight back early. Hudson and the boys play tomorrow at three and I didn’t want to miss it.”
Silence follows on the other end of the phone. I pull the phone away from my ear to see if we’re still connected, we are. “Mom?”
“Sorry, I’m here, I’m here.” She clears her throat and continues, “ I guess you just caught me off guard with all of this.”
I take a deep breath and let it out. I know I’ve been keeping more to myself after my injury, trying to get back on track, but I realize that’s also included my mom. I’ve always been close with my parents. I guess I’ve been pushing them away this last year and now I’ve unintentionally hurt my mom.
“I know, I’m sorry.” I pause and make the decision to tell her everything. “I know I’ve been pushing away this past year. Getting injured and not knowing if I would be able to come back to baseball has taken a toll on my mental health,” I admit to her.
“Kessler, you know you can always come to your father and I about these things. We didn’t want to push you, we knew you were sorting through things.” She pauses and I know what she’s going to say before she says it. “Like I’ve always told you, as much as we all love it, there is more to life than baseball.”
I tell her what I’ve always told her in response to that. “But baseball is my life.”
She lets out a soft laugh. “I know.” There’s a few beats of silence before she adds, “ But, I think you’re beginning to realize what I’ve always meant by that.”
I nod even though she can’t see me. “I am,” I admit. “Baseball has always been my family, but after not having it in my life while I was recovering, I realized what I was missing. I thought I would shake the empty feeling once I got back to it, but there’s still something missing.” I pause knowing once I say this out loud, there’s no going back.
“When I met Lucy, I felt something. I thought it was just an attraction, but once I started spending more time with her and Hudson and texting with her all week, I realized I wanted a family. I wanted them as a family. Lucy is amazing. She’s smart, funny and absolutely beautiful, and she doesn’t even know it. And Hudson.” I laugh and shake my head. “He reminds me a lot of myself when I was his age. Completely obsessed with baseball. He’s a funny kid and Lucy has done an incredible job with him.”
“Sounds like you’re completely smitten,” Mom says, humor in her voice.
“I am,” I admit “I really am. I missed them while I was gone, and I barely know them. Is that crazy?”
“No honey, it’s not crazy. Sometimes our hearts know before our brains do.” She pauses before adding, “I’m sorry for being pushy lately, you know with Judy and her daughter. I guess I just thought if you had someone to share your life with, you’d come back to us. I’ve missed you, Kessler. I’ve always just wanted what was best for you. For both my boys.”
Shit.
I know I’ve been going through a lot this past year, but I never thought about what it was doing to my parents, my mom especially. She’s been there for me through everything. I know it’s killed her to not go through this big change in my life with me. Not because she didn’t want to, but because I didn’t let her.
