Page 13 of Come As You Are
“Definitely. If it would make you feel better, you can install a lock. I won’t be offended if you do.”
“Nah.” Vee stopped turning and faced me. He stood with his feet apart, arms crossed over his chest, and took me in with a steady gaze. “I trust you,” he said. “The folks at Illyria have been really good to me.”
The expression that crossed his face was the same I’d seen earlier in the storeroom when he thanked me for offering up my spare room. Again, I wondered if he wasn’t used to people being nice to him or lending a helping hand.
“And just so we’re clear,” I said. “I’m not expecting anything in return except for some help with the utilities and food until you get back on your feet. Okay?”
Vee shifted on his feet and nudged his backpack with the toe of his cowboy boot, then nodded. A faint blush tinged his cheeks, but he covered it by reaching for the pack and picking it up.
I knew he didn’t have much in there, but I figured I’d give him some time, so I told him I’d be in the kitchen making coffee. “You’re welcome to join me in a cup on the deck once you’ve gotten moved in.”
The comment made Vee laugh, which I’d been hoping for. “I’ll be done before you,” he said. “Those assholes didn’t leave me with much.”
I nodded. “Maybe we can go through my closet later. I’ve got some shirts that’ll probably fit you better than they do me.”
“You don’t have to—”
“No, I don’t.” I smiled at him. “But I want to.”
Vee smiled back at me, and I lost myself for a moment in his big, blue eyes. Dressed in a dusty blue T-shirt that matched his eyes and highlighted the muscles in his chest, Vee looked…amazing. When he licked his lips, I had to look away. Ever since our dance together, I’d been hyperaware of him, and now I’d brought him into my home. Awesome.Good thinking there, Bastian!
I cleared my throat and clapped my hands together. “Right. Coffee.” And spun on my heels to retreat to the kitchen before Vee could say anything more.
In the kitchen, I braced my hands on the counter and tried to get myself under control. I did not ask this attractive young man to live in my house so I could perv on him. Finding out that he’d been sleeping in the club’s storeroom had horrified me, and not just because it was a violation of the health code, and Illyria didn’t need any more issues. No, it had horrified me because I knew how easily he could be desperate enough to do something stupid and potentially life-threatening to stay in the city. And yes, thatwaspersonal experience talking.
San Francisco could be unforgiving if you didn’t have some kind of safety net to keep you from falling to a deeper level of hell than you ever knew existed. Antonio had been my salvation, now I was paying it forward by holding out a chance for Vee to survive here without losing any of that wide-eyed innocence that made him so irresistible to Illyria’s customers.
Before I’d even set up the coffee, Vee walked through the doorway into my kitchen.
“You okay?” he asked. “I can go somewhere else if you—”
“I’m fine, and don’t even think about it. You’re staying here, and that’s the end of the conversation.” Arms still braced on the counter, I glanced over my shoulder and tried to muster a smile that would reassure him. Based on the way he took a step back from me, I didn’t think I’d succeeded, but Vee was simply turning his attention to the coffee maker.
“Coffee sounded really good,” he said.
I shook my head and straightened up. I was being an idiot. “Mugs are in the cabinet to your left, pods in the drawer beneath the machine. You’re welcome to anything that’s in here. Safeway’s walkable if you want to grab something I don’t have.”
Vee opened the cabinet and pulled out a mug. “Considering I’ve been living on twenty-five cent ramen packets and fruit from the bar for the past month, I’ll be fine.” He gestured with the mug. “Do you have a favorite?”
Shaking my head, I stepped out of his way. It was a tight fit with the two of us in the kitchen, and all my senses were on alert because of Vee’s proximity. His bare arm brushed against mine, and the brief contact left me reeling. His scent was a mixture of musk and vanilla: sweat from his earlier dance practice and the lingering trace of his aftershave. I remembered those heady scents from when we danced together, and the ghost of how his body felt pressed against mine had me getting out of there before I did something that would put the lie to my altruistic intentions.
I went to the bay window that overlooked Guerrero Street and tried to get myself under control with deep breaths. The only person who had ever affected me like this was Olivia, and I hadn’t ever expected to feel this way about someone else, especially not someone who was as masculine as Vee. I considered myself pan because I really was more concerned with the person than what they were wrapped in, but truth be told, cis guys had never done it for me the way fem twinks and nonbinary, androgenous humans had. Even though my list of hookups included many of them, that was mostly a matter of supply. Cis guys were a dime a dozen, especially at a club like Illyria which is where I found most of my partners.
“How do you take your coffee?” Vee called from the kitchen.
“Black.”
“No creamer or sugar?”
The disbelief in his voice was evident, and I wondered if I was going to find flavored creamer in my refrigerator by the time I came home.
“Here.” Vee handed me a mug of coffee so fresh the steam was still rising off it. “You know they say only psychopaths drink their coffee black. Should I be worried?”
I took it from him with a wink, and then moved to the couch to sit down. Vee remained standing at the window. This stretch of Guerrero wasn’t that interesting, but the rent had been affordable, and it was within walking distance of Delores Park, Illyria, and the center of the Castro. But Vee was staring at it as if it were paradise. He turned to look at me, and my breath caught at the sadness in those beautiful blue eyes.
“The view’s better than what I had before,” Vee said. “Not the storeroom, but the squat. I’ll probably be able to sleep better here as well.” He shook his head as he turned back to the window. “I’m really grateful to be here, Sebastian. And not just here. Everyone at Illyria has been so good to me.”
It was the second time he’d said that about the people who worked at Illyria, and in the same wistful tone.
