Page 58 of Friendly Skies
“I will do whatever you need me to, chico. I love you. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there to keep him from hurting you, but I’m so glad you’re brave enough to tell me.”
Luis let out a sound that was half-laughter, half-sob. “I don’t feel very brave right now.”
“Are you kidding me? Chico, you’ve been dealing with this on your own for the past twelve years—that takes some serious guts and courage. But now you don’t have to do this by yourself. I’m here. I will help in any way I can, I promise.”
Darius’ words unlocked something in Luis, and his tears began to flow as sobs racked through him. He felt Darius gather him in his arms, felt himself being shifted so he lay along Darius’ strong body, the whole time trying to stifle the upwelling of pain that overwhelmed him.
Through it all, Darius held him, soothed him, stroked his hair, petted and caressed him with gentle touches, telling him he was loved and safe and so, so brave and strong.
“You’re okay, chico,” Darius whispered, soft fingers threading through his hair. “I’ve got you. Let it all go, you’re safe.”
Those words only made Luis cry harder, as if a dam had broken inside of him. He couldn’t stop it even if he tried, and he was so tired of keeping this inside. It had poisoned him for too long, held too much power over him, so he let go. He put down the burden he’d been carrying for twelve years and let it pour out of him.
Gradually, he calmed and was able to breathe normally again. He picked his head up and stared at Darius through swollen eyes. “I’m sorry I lied to you all these years, cariño.”
“About what, chico?”
“How I felt about you. About wanting to be with you.” Luis began to cry harder again.
“Shhhhh.” Darius stroked his face, wiping away the tears with his thumb. “I lied to you, too, chico. Every time I climbed into bed and held you, I lied about how much I loved you and wanted to be with you. Every time I told myself it was enough to be your best friend, I lied about how much you meant to me. You’ve got nothing to apologize for. We were protecting ourselves, that’s all.”
“Seems kind of stupid, though, protecting myself from someone I love, someone who loves me.”
“Yeah, but I don’t think I really understood what it meant to love you, to be in love with you, until this week. I thought I did,but, God, Luis, what I feel holding you now is so much more, so much bigger than I expected. I didn’t think it was possible to feel this way. I love you so much.”
Luis lifted his head, and Darius immediately brought their mouths together for a kiss that was both sweet and passionate. When they parted, Luis laid his head back on Darius’ chest and sighed.
“I’m so tired, Dar,” he said. “I feel like I’ve run a thousand miles.”
Darius chuckled softly. “I’m not going anywhere, chico. If you need to sleep, go ahead and sleep. I’ll be right here with you. I promise.”
“Okay.”
Luis drifted off, his brain going hazy with fatigue and the need to let his whirling thoughts settle. He wasn’t naïve enough to think that confessing to Darius would put a stop to the nightmares and panic attacks, but as he dozed, Luis was aware of a calm, peaceful space in his chest that hadn’t existed prior to their conversation. It felt good. Solid. A measure of quiet he hadn’t experienced since the night of Marissa’s party.
When he woke, the condo was filled with light, and Darius’ chest rose and fell beneath him in a rhythm that told Luis he was asleep. Lifting his head slowly, Luis turned to take in Darius’ sleeping face and thought he’d never looked more gorgeous with dark stubble lining his mouth and jawline, his soft and plush lips slightly parted, dark eyelashes feathered against his cheeks. The sight warmed Luis, and he smiled at the ease in his best friend’s face as well as the surge of love that ran through his body.
All over again, Luis marveled at the way what he felt for Darius had a physical presence in his body. It wasn’t just a feeling like happiness or anger but something that inhabited every fiber of his being—something he was rather than felt—and as he watched Darius, he knew what he wanted. Darius was more thanhis best friend, already more than a boyfriend or even partner, had always been his soul twin, but this awareness, thiscravingLuis felt was about wanting something that would claim Darius as his in a way that was visible to everyone, that would bring the connection they shared into its full expression.
“I want to marry you,” Luis whispered. Saying the words out loud made them real, and Luis felt that warmth in his heart, that sense of peace, expand and fill him with joy.
“Are you proposing, chico?” Darius asked. His eyes were still closed, but the smile that tugged at the corners of his mouth told Luis he’d been awake for a bit.
“Maybe. Are you saying yes?”
Darius opened his eyes, and his smile expanded. “If you ask, I’ll say yes.”
“Really?” Luis sat up.
“Yes. But you have to ask me.”
The question had seemed so simple when Luis was thinking it, but with Darius looking at him, Luis found it difficult to get the words past the lump in his throat. He swallowed, then took a deep breath.
“Darius Williams, will you marry me?”
“Absolutely.”
Luis grinned, then swatted at Darius’ shoulder. “You said you’d say yes.”
