Page 57 of Friendly Skies
“It’s always money he’s after,” Luis said, his voice small. “He knows I’ll give it to him because he scares the shit out of me.” Despite his best efforts to act strong, Luis began to tremble. “I just want him to leave me alone.”
“I know.”
Darius’ hands on his head, his back helped soothe Luis’ fear and anxiety, grounding him in a way nothing else did. The tension in his body bled away as Darius continued to soothe him with gentle touches and soft words.
“Can we go inside, Dar? I want to tell you what happened.” Even as he said it, Luis started to shake again, but it wasn’t because of the chill air.
“Anything you want, chico.” Darius leaned down and kissed him. “I meant what I said. You don’t owe me an explanation.”
“I know. But I want to tell you.”
“Then I want to listen.”
They left the balcony and reentered the condo.
“Bedroom or living room?” Darius asked.
“Is anyone else home?”
“Nope. I found a note in the kitchen from Greg. He flew out last night. I guess we were too preoccupied to find it. I’ve got no idea where Ricky is.”
Luis nodded and rubbed his hands together, trying to warm them up. Even though he’d thought about telling Darius, he hadn’t actually figured out what he was going to say. The one thing he did know was that he didn’t want this conversation to take place in the bedroom. That was a sacred place he didn’t want fouled by the memories of what Andrés had done. It was bad enough he had nightmares; he didn’t want to give voice to what lived in his head in the space where he and Darius shared their hearts and bodies.
After he settled on the couch, Darius gathered the blanket and tucked it around his shoulders, a gesture so sweet and loving Luis nearly cried. He knew he wasn’t going to be able to keep the tears for long, so he told Darius to find a box of tissues.
“Anything else, chico?” Darius asked.
Luis tucked the blanket tighter around himself and shook his head, trying to figure out where to start. It would almost be easier to rip his heart out of his chest and hand it to Darius. But when Darius returned and asked if he could hold Luis, it all became much easier to figure out. Holding the blanket open, Luis gestured for Darius to join him.
“I meant what I told you a few days ago, cariño. I have always loved you. I never wanted anyone but you, but it took me until the night of the party to figure out what that meant.” Luis took a deep breath. “I was so scared when I started to feel sick and knew something was wrong, which is why I went to my room to lie down.”
“Did you know Andrés had given you something?”
“I thought so, and that scared me even more because I had no idea what it could be. Or why. I was freaking out. But then you were there, and you told me it was Molly and that you’d stay with me and take care of me. You were so calm and wonderful, and that’s when I started to know what my feelings were about. And when we kissed…” Luis smiled and traced Darius’ lips with his fingers. “When we kissed, it was the best thing that had ever happened to me.”
Tears filled Luis’ eyes, overflowing onto his cheeks. “And then we fell asleep together. I felt so safe, so taken care of. Even though I was high, I was safe because you were there.”
“Always, chico,” Darius said, capturing Luis’ hand in his and raising it to his lips.
Luis entwined their hands, comforted by the warmth of Darius’ skin against his. “And then I went to the bathroom. You were still asleep, and I didn’t want to disturb you, so I crept out of my room and down the hall.” He shook his head. “I have no idea if Andrés had been waiting for me or if I had the worst timing in the world. I can’t believe he was waiting because Gabriella would have noticed, but anyway…”
Taking a deep breath, Luis closed his eyes but then opened them immediately because he didn’t want to see the memory play out. He fixed his gaze on Darius, meeting those dark and soulful eyes as steadily as he could. “He followed me in. I don’t remember being scared, at least not at first. Everything was kind of fuzzy by then, and I didn’t realize what he was doing until…” Luis wiped at his mouth with his free hand, surprised to find his face was wet.
“How bad did he hurt you, chico?” Darius whispered.
“Not bad. He didn’t rape me, just used my mouth.”
“Chico—”
“I know. I do, Dar, but I can’t go there, okay? Maybe…” Luis shook his head. “Whatever. I didn’t tell you because I thought you wouldn’t want me, and I was confused.”
“Confused about what?”
Luis nodded. “I hated it, hated what he did, how it made me feel. I was so fucking scared. I couldn’t imagine doing that with you or to you. He acted like he’d done me a favor, said I needed to learn…if…” Another snuffle. “I didn’t want to be gay after that, Dar. The thought of being with anyone, even you—”
“I want to kill him,” Darius said, his voice low and so dangerous it made Luis shiver.
“I know. But I don’t need him dead—I just need him to stay the hell away from me, and to get him out of my head.”
