Page 63 of For You I'd Mend
Rowan shrugged. “Sisterly intuition.”
“Bullshit.”
“Fine, I was listening in the stacks. I can’t believe you were still a virgin. How was it?”
“Kind of weird but wonderful.”
“Ok, it was with Theo, so I get the wonderful part,” Rowan said, squeezing onto the sofa beside me. I felt like thin-sliced bologna sandwiched between two slices of bread with boundary issues. “What made it weird?”
“He’s pierced, isn’t he?” Lauren asked. “Does he have one or a whole Jacob’s ladder going on? Or was it just because it was your first time?”
There was no way I was getting out of this conversation. Plus, part of me kind of wanted to know if I was being too sensitive, if it was normal for people in a relationship to do the deed and then chuck the other person out of their space. “Well, for starters, it was on an air mattress. I worried we might bounce off a couple times, and he was already close to impaling my stomach.”
All three of those bitches burst out laughing.
“I’m sorry,” Cammie said, wiping a tear from her eye. “So, you were fibbing about the good sore part.”
“A little. And before you ask again, Lauren, I have no idea if his dick’s pierced or not. I didn’t spend a lot of time staring at it and have nothing to compare the feeling of it too. So even if it was, that’s not what made it weird.”
All three of them became solemn and Rowan grabbed my hand. “Go on,” she said.
“Well,” I said, taking a deep breath. “It happened so fast. He barely got undressed and then he walked me home right after. He said he didn’t want me to sleep on an air mattress, but it felt odd to leave so soon. Does that make me sound clingy?”
“Definitely not,” Lauren said. “That sounds pretty dickish to me. I should spit in his espresso next time he comes in.”
“No,” Cammie, Rowan, and I said together.
“I don’t think it had anything to do with me,” I said.
“I agree,” Cammie said. “Maybe he felt a panic attack coming and didn’t want you to see it.”
“Can you feel a panic attack coming?” Lauren asked, whipping out her phone.
“Wait? Have you seen him have one?” I asked Cammie.
She nodded. “Normally, I wouldn’t tell you this, because it’s not my story to tell, but a few months ago something triggered him when he came to the office to meet Cal. I’d never seen anything like it. It brought Theo to his knees. I was afraid he’d pass out he was breathing so hard. Cal handled it like a champ, but even he looked worried. It broke my heart, to be honest.”
“Yeah,” I said. “They’re pretty scary.”
“It fits,” Lauren said, nodding at her phone. “He probably thought he was at risk of having one once the orgasm endorphins wore off and the reality of what happened set in. He didn’t want you to think less of him.”
“Why would suffering a panic attack make me think less of him?” I snapped. “It’s not like I haven’t seen it before.”
“You’d just slept together,” Rowan said, placing a gentle hand on my arm. “Theo might have worried you’d take it personally.”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “Well, that’s just insulting.”
“I saw his panic attack months ago, and he still seems embarrassed every time I see him,” Cammie said. “It’s kind of endearing, actually, which is why I stopped being nervous around him, despite how big he is.”
“Yeah, how big is he?” Lauren said, leaning forward. “Your penile experience may be limited, but you’re an artist. I’m sure you can eye up a measurement just fine.”
“Can we talk about the d—urn dresses now?” I asked, throwing my hands in the air. “Rowan, I promise to wear whatever color you want and heels to match if you end this conversation.”
Rowan smiled and clapped her hands together. “So, I’m thinking pink for the dresses. A subtle shade, like rose petal or blush. With nude or rose gold sparkling heels.”
“That would look so good with your natural hair color, Poppy,” Lauren said.
“Absolutely not,” I said. “The only redhead at the alter will be Rowan. I’ll find a color that goes with whatever you choose, sis.”
