Page 68 of Come for Me
The screams, the cries, and the collateral damage is all a means to an end to ensure the kingdom is protected. Anyone would gladly take the throne from me if they thought they could,and they wouldn’t care about the means to make it happen. And neither will I.
If torturing and killing others means protecting what’s mine—my pack, my kingdom, and my queen, it’s easy. If someone thinks you’re merciful, they’ll ask for forgiveness, not permission. And I can’t have that. I must be feared.
If asked a month ago what was better, to be feared or loved, I would’ve chosen fear. Historically, tyrants lasted longer than loved figures, and being loved doesn’t keep you safe from betrayal. Now that I’ve met Alaina, I can’t say confidently that—if she were to love me—anything would be better. My reputation protects us now.
After hitting double digits, I stopped counting how many lives I’ve taken and stopped caring. “Feelings are a weakness,” as my father would say. Not even when I was alone did I cry after killing my first person until my mother died when I was twenty.
Anger was the only acceptable outburst my father allowed me. He saw it as a form of strength and intimidation, but I prefer to be calm and menacing.
Our home was never quiet when my father was alive, as he would always yell or throw things, any commotion to show hisforce. Father was always like that, loud and chaotic, but I got used to his predictability. What was truly terrifying was when he got quiet. You never knew what he would do next.
When there was nothing left to break and silence fell, the silver whip came out, and it was time to hide. In addition to physical, he loved psychological torture, his specialty.
Like using my mother to get me to comply with his insanity. Even she couldn’t protect me from her mate. She loved me the best she could when it was safe to show love, as my father also felt love opened us up to enemies.
It’s the same with Alaina. She’s done everything up to almost being marked by another to shield her true feelings from me.But the connection, the sparks, and the raw heat between us is undeniable.
When I found her at the Hunt, I ordered Jack to release the pack records to me. And it gave me more insight into why she fights me so much.
There wasn’t much in her file, but I read every word, determined to learn everything about my darling.
Her mother ran from her mate when she sought refuge with the Bloodhound pack. Her father wasn’t listed, but her mother had said he was powerful and didn’t want to risk him finding her. Having power meant enemies—enemies her unborn daughter would adopt. So, she left her mate before he could mark her to ensure her best chance at remaining hidden. She was two months pregnant at the time.
In the transcript, Jack follows up with necessary questions to gauge the risk of helping her hide, to which her mother had responded her mate wouldn’t hurt anyone. She also mentioned using an ale obtained from a witch to disguise her scent.
Jack’s men had confiscated upon her entry into their borders. After he determined Alaina’s mother wasn’t a risk, she was allowed membership into Bloodhound on a probationary period.
The first thing she did was see the pack doctor. He ran blood tests to ensure everything was normal. When the doctor drew blood, Jack stepped back, hating the smell of it, and asked Alaina’s mother why it didn’t bother her. The doctor noted the ale’s odor resembled that of a satiated vampire, which made her nonthreatening during her days’ long journey. Exposure to the smell made her feel safe when her cortisol levels spiked.
This explains Alaina’s higher tolerance of blood, as she barely reacted to the bloodied mutt.
Reports show she was well-liked during her probation. Jack noted the smell of blood not bothering her, making her the perfect nurse to assist the pack doctor. When she wasn’tworking, she spent most of her time sitting in a tree. She fit right into the pack, lifting her probation a month after her arrival. While seemingly happy with her new home, she was often spotted spending several hours in a tree.
Immediately following Alaina’s birth, her mother passed away, having not been strong enough to survive the birth after being away from her mate for seven months.
Then it goes into Alaina’s records, and I’ve memorized every word. Each new report has taught me patience and how to find appreciation in my little mate’s defiance. While well-liked among her pack, she got into several fights. My pride and fascination grew when I read they were often people she had no business fighting, as they were often bigger than her. No doubt someone who thought she’d shy away and take whatever shit they threw at her. I had to laugh at that very wrong assumption because I’ve learned my little mate doesn’t back down to anybody or any challenge.
But no one knew then they were dealing with a queen.
While she’s small, reports of her speed being outmatched allowed her to avoid punishment for fighting with other pack members. “Punishment” was lost on her because no one could ever catch her to hold her accountable, giving her no reason to ever listen to anyone but her own impulses.She may be the fastest runner, but she will never escape me.
My little mate needed to be tamed; she needed me. I let her believe that by not sinking her teeth into my shoulder that she’s “denying me.” But I already possess every part of her. Her body instinctively responds to my touch and presence, her wolf calls for me, and her pretty little mouth pleads for my attention—even when she’s telling me to fuck off. She knows I’ll follow through with punishment when she disrespects me, so why does she keep defying my orders? Because she wants my attention regardless. And while she doesn’t yet realize it, she’s lucky to have found me.
While she can pretend to deny me, there isn’t any part of her left for me to claim. Every inch of her belongs to me. Even the parts I haven’t fucked yet, like her pretty little ass.
Though she won’t admit it, I’m forever seeded inside her, mind, body, and soul. Greedily encompassing her body, possessing her, filling her until I’m all she knows and can’t survive without me. She thinks her not confirming I’ve marked her means she isn’t claiming me. I think that’s what scares her and why she refuses to mark me.
Another thing my mate is wrong about: the love I have for her has been there from the moment we connected, and it’s the same for her. The mark doesn’t bring on new feelings; it only intensifies and solidifies what’s already there.
Now, whether she’s lying to herself by investing in this denial or if she was truly never taught that about the mate bond and marking, I don’t know. I don’t want her to feel bad if she wasn’t informed. She did lose her mother, after all, something that would’ve probably been brought up during the birds and the bees talk. But if she does know that’s how it all works and if investing in the denial makes her feel safe, I’ll let her. Anything for her safety.
Which brings me to my next theory as to why she won’t mark me yet. I sayyetbecause she will when I’m done waiting. Thoughts have crossed my mind about fucking her for days until she’s delirious and doesn’t know she’s doing it. I’d have her heavily addicted and seemingly drunk on my cock.
Once sober, it’d be too late. She would’ve already marked me. After she’d tell me she hates me, I’d grab her throat, eliciting the sweetest scent from her pussy, and gladly oblige to her body’s call by fucking her again. Her disputes would turn into those soft moans resembling a damn siren call. Her pretty little mouth would call my inner beast forward, turning me into this rough,savage mess as I figure out which call to answer, which hole to fuck.
Fuck, I’m getting sidetracked.
I adjust my hard package.
