Page 68 of The Best Man Problem
He felt the removal of her body from his like a physical blow. The loss of her warmth left him chilled and anxious.
“I hope you find some happiness, Lincoln.”
With a sad smile and a slight nod, she turned and headed out of the barcade. He stood there for a full five minutes, staring at the empty air she once occupied. It wasn’t until someone nudged him, asking if the game was free, that he finally shook himself out of his stupor and moved aside.
He’d told her the truth, and it hadn’t killed him. Even better, she’d understood—sympathized, even. She hadn’t pitied him or blamed him for his reaction to her past. Lilly, like in all problems she faced, had simply worked for a solution and presented it to him.
A leap of faith.
Could he really do that? Open his heart while knowing it stood the risk of being destroyed once again? Letting go of the past was hard, and he thought he’d succeeded in doing just that, but maybe he hadn’t. Perhaps he still carried around some anger and resentment about the whole situation. And who could blame him if he did? His wife, the person who vowed to honor, love, and remain faithful in sickness and in health, had lied. Done the opposite of everything she’d promised. Didn’t he deserve to be a little wary when it came to matters of the heart?
Not that Lilly was in his heart…
He needed another drink. Good thing he was in a bar. He’d parked his car in an overnight lot, and he had a rideshare app on his phone. Before he had planned to down a few more beers, play some pinball, and clear his mind of all manner of love and feelings. Except playing pinball only made him think of Lilly, and he couldn’t really appreciate the taste of beer in his current mood. What was the point?
The crowded bar scene was starting to suffocate him, so Lincoln headed out into the cold night air, walking the three blocks to where his car was parked. Once he arrived at his apartment, he flipped on the TV. But the latest superhero show playing on the small screen did nothing to distract his whirling mind from the problem at hand.
He had promised himself he wouldn’t fall in love again. The risk of heartbreak was just too much. His judgment had been wrong once before, his trust shattered. So why did he find himself believing Lilly, trusting her? He thought about what he knew of her, what he really knew. Sure, they hadn’t known each other for very long, but he knew she was loyal to her friends, took pride in her job, would do anything to make her clients happy—even deny herself the thing she craved most because it went against her own moral code.
Hadn’t she refused to hop back into bed with him once she discovered he was a part of the wedding party? As much as he knew she wanted to, Lilly hadn’t budged until the wedding had been over. Until their time together would be clear on her conscience.
She made him smile and laugh and want…so much more than he ever thought he would. This shaky burn deep in his chest was something he’d felt once before but never thought he would feel ever again. And certainly never to this magnitude. It could only mean one thing.
He was in love. And scared shitless.
Chapter Twenty
“Okay, Mopey Melvin.” Marie slid a cappuccino in front of Lincoln. “Time to fess up.”
He glanced up from his computer, where he’d been working on finding a bug in the code he’d been assigned.
“Mopey Melvin?” He raised a brow. “Is that even a saying?”
The small woman shrugged. Pulling out the chair across from him, she sat. It was just after three in the afternoon on a Wednesday, and he was the only person in the shop except for the owners. A week and five days since the wedding, a week and four days since the amazing snowed-in day he shared with Lilly, and a week exactly since she accused him of living in the past and told him to figure his shit out. Not in those exact words, but the sentiment had been implied.
And here he was. A week later. With not a damn thing figured out.
“Why aren’t you at work?” Marie asked.
He pointed to the computer in front of him. “I am. I’m working remotely this week. They’re painting the fourth floor. All the devs are working from home.”
Or a coffee shop, in his case. He hated to admit it, but his basement apartment had felt cold and lonely the past few days. Ridiculous, because there’d only ever been him living there. How could he miss a woman he’d never even had a relationship with? She’d never stepped foot inside his place. He shouldn’t miss her while sitting on the barstools in his tiny kitchen. He shouldn’t lament not hearing her laughter as he sat alone on his leather couch, watching some stupid TV show. He shouldn’t ache to hold her in the darkness of night as he tossed and turned on his large queen-size bed, wishing she was there with him so he could kiss every inch of—
Okay, maybe the bed part made sense, but the rest didn’t.
Why was Lilly in his mind twenty-four seven when they’d never even gone on a proper date?
Because I’m in love with her.
Damn! He’d promised himself he wouldn’t go down that road again. Dating? Cool. Fun relationship? No problem. But serious love-type emotions? He wasn’t doing that again.
“Okay.” Marie tilted her head, silky, short black hair sliding over her cheek.
She pushed it back behind her ear with a single finger, the move reminding him of how Lilly always used a single finger to push her glasses up her nose. Dammit. Why did everything remind him of that woman? Even his best friend, whom he’d known a hell of a lot longer than Lilly.
“That answers question number two, but what about question number one? What’s with the ’tude?”
“I don’t have a ’tude.”
