Page 74 of The Best Friend Problem
“Really? You’ve practically moved into my place already. We sleep together almost every night, neither of us is dating anyone else, and we’re having kids together. If that’s not a relationship, then what the hell is it?”
The frustration poured off him in waves. The long vein at the base of his neck, right below his ear, started to pulse in the way it did whenever he got angry. Which wasn’t often, but it tended to happen when he had to deal with drunk driver accidents. She’d seen Finn mad before, but the emotion had never been directed at her. He seemed plenty upset with her right now, though. And this was so not a conversation she wanted to have with her pants across the room.
Slipping off the exam table, she crossed to the small chair in the corner where she’d set her clothes. She grabbed the leggings, shoving first one leg then the other into the soft, stretchy material, grateful she still had her underwear on. Being naked during a fight made her feel at a disadvantage.
She knew Mo would tell her to use her nakedness to end the fight and win, and if it were any other argument, she might consider it. But this wasn’t a small argument about not doing the dishes or eating the last piece of pizza in the fridge. This felt big. An uneasy calm before an impending storm that would rip away everything she held dear. She had to stop this.
“Finn, you’ve never had a long-term relationship.”
“What do you call us?”
“I meant a romantic one.” Friendships didn’t count. “Look, we’ve only been sleeping together for a few months, and we both know it’s just a fling.”
He arched a brow. “We do?”
Stuffing her head into her oversize sweater, she righted the garment before turning. “That’s what we agreed to.”
“No.”
He stalked toward her, lifting a hand and cupping her face in a gentle move, contrary to the tense emotions vibrating off him. “We agreed to be together until the itch was satisfied, and I don’t think that’s ever going to happen, Precious. Why do you think I’ve never managed to hold onto a woman for long and you’ve dumped every loser you’ve gone out with?”
“Hey! Not every guy I’ve dated has been a loser.” And technically Terrence dumped her. But it wasn’t like she went chasing after him, so what did that say about her true feelings for her jerk ex?
He pressed closer. “Really? Then why aren’t you still with any of them?”
She tried to come up with an answer, but it was difficult to think when he was standing so close. She could feel the heat of his body pressed up against hers. Lately, her breasts were so sensitive, all it took was a glance from Finn to get her raring to go. So weird. Here they were, having an argument in an urgent care exam room after a scare that knocked ten years off her life, and she was turned on.
Baby hormones.
She was going to blame it on the baby hormones. But that excuse could only stretch so far, and it sounded weaker and weaker each time she used it.
“Wanna know what I think?”
Not really, since she suspected it might be too close to the truth and she really couldn’t handle that right now. But Prudence Carlson had never been a coward, so she raised her chin and stared directly into those stubborn, beautiful eyes.
The left side of his mouth curled up at her bravado.
“I think the reason I don’t make it past a first date, and you check every single man you’ve dated against an impossible list of standards, isn’t because my job is too dangerous for a family, or because you need that perfect nine-to-five, white picket fence fantasy. It’s because we both know no one is right for us.”
She sucked in a harsh breath at his bleak and accurate words.
“Because we’re perfect for each other.”
Say what now?
His right hand still cupped her face, the left coming up to grasp her hip in a protective hold.
“We’ve been best friends forever, but there’s always been a spark of attraction. Don’t deny it.”
“I’m not denying the physical attraction between us.”
They’d been sleeping together for months, and she still got turned on any time he so much as smiled at her. It’d be pretty stupid of her to deny the spark. Didn’t mean they were in love with each other. Lust did not equal love.
“I think that neither of us has taken the chance to see if we could be something more because we’ve both been too scared. Scared of losing what we had, losing our friendship if we took it to the next level and it didn’t work out. But it did work, Pru. It is working. And it’s not a temporary thing or some silly itch I feel for you. I love you.” He pressed his forehead against hers. “I know my job can be terrifying, but life is terrifying. There are no guarantees for anyone. I can’t keep using it as an excuse not to go after what I want, who I want. And I want you, Pru. And the babies. Maybe the timing was never right, or we had to grow up a little, but we crossed that line, and I don’t want to go back.”
Sure, he said that now, but what about a few months down the road when they had two screaming babies at home needing feedings and diaper changes and constant care? She’d planned for it, but Finn hadn’t. He would miss his single life. The freedom of it.
He’d never abandon her. She knew that, because he was a good person and never backed down on a commitment. But she didn’t want to be his commitment. She didn’t want to risk him staying then resenting her for the situation he found himself in.
