Page 64 of The Best Friend Problem
He what now? Finn was reading baby books? In high school, he always rented the movies instead of reading their assignments for English. Made for a very strange book report when they’d studied The Scarlet Letter.
“You read a book? Voluntarily?”
“Of course I did.” His hands gently caressed her back, applying light pressure to the sore spots right above her hipbones. “It’s important to be educated.”
She knew that. Hell, she had over a dozen pregnancy and baby books on her ereader. Read most of them more than once, too. But she was Practical Pru. Finn was…well, he wasn’t a slouch when it came to education. He did have a BS in Fire Science and had to keep his EMT certificate up to date. She knew he studied hard for those. But she’d never known him to voluntarily seek education without an end goal. He didn’t learn just to learn. He had to care about something to invest time in it.
He cares about you, dum-dum, and the babies.
She sucked in a sharp breath.
“What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?”
Finn’s concerned face came into view over her shoulder. She shook her head. “No. I’m fine.”
He didn’t press, but his wary gaze watched her for another moment before he returned to his massage.
Pru sat there with the knowledge she’d just discovered. Finn cared.
Duh, he was her best friend and the father of the babies, so of course he would care. But this felt different. He wasn’t just offering to help or just tossing money at her for expenses. He was an active part of this journey. When she went to an appointment, Finn was there. Baby class, Finn was there.
Thinking back over the past months, she realized just how involved he was. He bought her preggy pops and pillows, read books to stay informed. Finn was going above and beyond anything they had discussed.
He cared. A lot.
What did that mean?
She could just ask him. It wasn’t like they hadn’t talked about almost everything under the sun during their years of friendship. So why was she holding back?
Because I’m afraid of what he’ll say.
No. That wasn’t it. Truthfully, she was afraid of the repercussions of what he might say and what it would mean. How that would change them. Their friendship had already changed so much recently. Pru didn’t know if she could handle any more right now.
Besides, he hadn’t changed his stance on subjecting a family to his risky job, and she hadn’t changed her mind about solo motherhood. Even if Finn did want something more permanent, which she highly doubted, his occupation didn’t match what she had in mind for a partner.
Like his occupation doesn’t freak you out, anyway.
Pru wouldn’t lie, her heart clutched with fear every time she heard a siren in the city, wondering if her best friend was responding, if he would be putting his life at risk to save others. She could only imagine how amplified that terror would be for the person who shared a life with him.
No matter what they were doing right now, he’d eventually want out. And that was fine with her. She didn’t want anything permanent with him. She simply wanted her babies. So what if everyone here seemed to have a life partner who looked forward to spending year after year watching their children grow, sharing every birthday, holiday, and summer vacation. Relationships could wither and die. She knew that better than anyone.
Friendships are a form of relationship. Yours could die, too.
No. She and Finn were solid. They’d been each other’s rock for years. Sure, they might have changed the dynamic of their friendship slightly over the past few months, but they could go back. She was sure Finn didn’t have feelings for her. None other than friendship and a bit of lust.
Okay, a lot of lust.
And that’s all she felt for him. Lust. Nothing more.
The instructor told the class to end the massage with a message for the baby. Finn’s hand came around her to land on her belly, his head bent down, lips pressing to the slight roundness of her stomach as he spoke, just loudly enough for the words to travel to her ears.
“Hey there, babies. You grow big and strong in there because we can’t wait to meet you. And you’re getting the best mommy in the whole wide world, so try not to cause her too much pain when you make your big debut. She’s a real wuss when it comes to pain.”
“Hey,” she complained, but he was right. She was a real, well, baby when it came to pain.
“But she loves you more than anything in this world, so don’t worry. And I’ll be there to help.” He glanced up, mischief and caring filling the depths of his gaze. “She can squeeze my hand ’til it breaks if she has to. Whatever she needs, I’ll be there.”
Tears filled her eyes at his words. She had no idea what was going on, what she was feeling. This whole situation was becoming complicated, so much more than she’d ever anticipated. Or maybe it was just her pregnancy hormones going into overdrive. Yeah, that was it. She was seeing and feeling things that weren’t really there. She didn’t have deeper feelings for Finn, and he didn’t have them for her.
