Page 40 of It’s All in How You Fall
“It’s just—I’m actually…”
Sunny is never one to be at a loss for words—that’s possibly the only thing she and Nat have in common. “You’re actually…?” Peregrine prompts her, leaning in like she can will the words from Sunny’s throat.
Our senior sister suddenly looks so much younger as she blinks through her thoughts and wets her lips. Deep breath. “I’m actually worried having a boyfriend would be a problem?”
Peregrine squints at her. “A problem as in someone else would openly adore you and kiss you on the mouth?”
“That… would be a good problem,” I venture. Because, well, unless we count the hot minute I “dated” Clay Washington in seventh grade, this is not a problem I know much about.
“I can only focus on so much.” All the light that is Sunny is narrowed in on getting these words right—the same tunnel vision she gets staring down a dismount. I’m not sure she even realizes she’s doing it. “I quit high school to focus on gymnastics. I quit seeing my friends, broke up with Tim. Quit going to dances, doing extracurricular stuff—mathletics, debate, student council—to focus on gymnastics.” She switches into her spot-on Olga impression: “Trade your now for your future and you’ll never regret it.”
We’re silent. Not even nodding.
Sunny presses her hands to her forehead, shimmery nail polish static. “It seemed like the right decision, and it got results—a ticket to nationals twice over, top twenty placement, a spot on the national team, a scholarship offer. I got that by focusing on gymnastics and stripping away everything else.” Her hands drop. “Adding anything back in that pulls focus? I worry that I’ll be off the rails before I finish the season.”
The season—senior season, which leads up to UCLA. And maybe an international trip with the national team, but definitely not if she spins out of control.
Peregrine’s current expression could grind every diamond ring in existence to pulp. “Alex is great, but I think you’re giving him oranyboy/girl/person too much credit. Sun,youare the reason you were able to accomplish all those things.”
Sunny squeezes her eyes shut and scrunches up her nose. “Yeah, but… if I have my attention divided…”
“Then you’rehuman, Sunny.” I wedge my board as close to hers as I can get and put my hand on her arm. “There’s nothing written in our genetic code that says we have to be alone to do great things.”
Peregrine follows my lead and pulls up on Sunny’s other side. She gets her hand on Sunny’s wrist and now we have her sandwiched with intentions. “We’ve seen the movies, read the books, been indoctrinated with the idea that love is so engrossing it’s worth everything. But if dating someone distracts you from the biggest things in your life, then you’re with the wrong person. Love and friendship should enhance what’s already there, not kill it. That’s the definition of toxic.”
I’m nodding super hard and piggyback off Peregrine’s amazing breakdown. “The point is that we’reyour friends. We want you to succeed. We want you to be happy onalllevels. You don’t need to head into your senior year alone to make your dreams come true. If you want to date, we will absolutely warn you if we see any signs that any sort of relationship has distracted you from your gymnastics goals.”
“Boy. Girl. They. Anyone. Nail polish. Baby watermelons. Cinnamon Orbit. Whatever. Any relationship that’s toxic goes.” Peregrine makes a slicing motion across her throat.
Sunny coughs out a sad laugh. The almost-noon sun bathes her in perfect light between the clouds. After a moment, she swallows and looks between us. “And youboththink Alex Zavala might be a good start?”
I nod viciously. “I’ve known him since I was in diapers. I would never set you up with anyone who didn’t check all the best boxes. Plus, I have literal verbal confirmation that he has had a crush on you lingering under his cool exterior for the past two years.”
Sunny’s white teeth flash between lips that are totally curling at the corners. “You make it sound like an infection.”
“Okay, we’ve all come to terms with the fact that my metaphor capacity is currently terrible,” I admit. “But that doesn’t mean I’m wrong.”
“Cosigned,” Peregrine adds. “Also, I concur that Alex is a stand-up guy,ifyou’re interested. Neat, friendly, built like a tank with dimples, good family, never smarmy, holds down a job so he can maintain a car he paid for with his own damn money.” My stomach squelches as I have the stunning realization that Peregrine has not only noticed this but cataloged it. And she’s still going. “Not to mention he offered to help out Caroline with finding new sports without ever expecting anything in return. Stand. Up. Guy.” Then she adds, “He had nothing to do with the setup except for the fact that he was brave enough to tell Caroline the truth about how he felt.”
Sunny is silent. After a solid moment, her chin dips toward me and the volume of her voice lowers with it. It seems now that she’s holding my hands more than I’m holding hers.
“Caroline, please be honest with me. Are you sure you’re not interested in Alex?”
My gut trembles. “Sunny, he likesyou.”
Sunny reads my face longer than is comfortable. “I’ll think about it.”
17
When we make it back to the cabin, lunch is ready and waiting.The whole spread smells of charcoal and sunshine. We have our pick of perfectly cooked veggie burgers and whole-grain buns, sweet corn, the farmers’ market watermelon, mixed berries, and a salad of roasted summer delights: red peppers, onions, pineapple, cherry tomatoes.
The whole thing is vegetarian yet Nat doesn’t complain a lick, just makes all the right noises of thanks and piles his plate with a bite of literally everything. Bizarre, yes—Nat’s charm button is stuck in theonposition today and I have no idea why, but it’s also causing him to be polite, so awesome.
Artemis asks if it’s all right if they eat on the dock and Sunny says sure, and then she and Nat leave us be, trading the shady deck for the full sun of the dock. Sunny’s parents split too, for where I’m not sure, and it’s the three of us girls on the deck. Alone. Again.
I crack open a LimonCello LaCroix and squint toward the dock. “Okay, yeah, everyone totally thinks we stink.”
“No,” Sunny says, cracking open her own drink and dropping into a seat at the umbrella-covered café table, “they think we’re just going to talk about boys and don’t want to hear it.”
