Page 98 of Saving Graces
“Fuck, Cassidy,” they breathed out in a rush. “I’m so, so sorry. I fucked up so bad.” Their eyes were huge and bright with tears. She’d never once seen Lane cry before. “I’ll tell you everything, I swear, every single thing you want to know-” they broke off, flailing for words.
Cassidy didn’t reach for them. She watched Lane struggle, their shoulders squaring as they scrunched their eyes closed in concentration. When they opened them again, they were blazing.
“Cassie,” they said. “Being loved the way you love me feels fucking terrifying when I’ve spent my whole life having to cut off every part of me that needs love. To let myself be loved by you means risking one day needing that love. Needing you. And if I lost you…”
“The only reason you lost me was because you literally broke up with me in the first place!” Cassidy said, throwing up her hands in wild exasperation.
“I know!” Lane said. “I left you so you couldn’t leave me. It’s fucked up, I get it. And I have no right to ask you for anything, Cass,” they said softly. “which is why Kinsey’s out there waiting for you right now. But I’ve spent every second of the time we’ve been apart doing two things: fucking longing for you and working on my shit.”
Lane sank down onto both their knees and Cassidy’s throat got thick. She tried to swallow.
“I love you,” Lane said hoarsely, head tilted up at her where she stood, her legs weak and wobbling. “I fucking love you, so much. You’re the first girl I’ve ever loved and I swear, if I’m lucky, you’ll be the last.”
Cassidy looked down at them, on their knees.
“You’re not… like proposing right now?” she asked warily. Lane’s eyes went wide.
“Uh, no,” they admitted and Cassidy sighed in relief. “I might though,” they added, “one day.”
Cassidy bit her lip. She breathed out, no sound but the soft breeze tousling their hair, nothing between them but the sun on their faces. Then she crossed the distance between them and shoved Lane back onto their heels.
“You’re an asshole,” she said, then she climbed into their lap and kissed them. Their mouth was soft, achingly familiar and strange all at once. “And I love you too,” she whispered, as their hands came up to hold her tight, “still. I think I started to love you the first time you kissed me.”
“That’s why I brought you back here,” Lane said, stroking their hand through her hair, cupping her face, their eyes full of wonder, gazing at her like she was everything. “Ever since that first night, you’re all I’ve ever wanted.”
“Well,” said Cassidy, “it was actually Kinsey who brought me back here. But I take your point.”
Lane snorted out a small laugh, leaned in, and lightly bit the side of Cassidy’s neck, making her clench and shiver.
“Fuck I’ve missed you,” they whispered, “you’re such an annoying jerk.”
Their fingers were already pulling at the buttons on her dress and Cassidy went white hot with want. Her skin felt blazing, her head light. Every slight brush of Lane’s fingers against her skin as they pulled her dress open went straight to her core. She felt molten and desperate and they’d barely touched her yet.
Lane went stock still, staring at her exposed body, before dragging their gaze to hers. Cassidy swallowed once, hard, and then Lane’s mouth was on her. She gasped, headily, almost woozy at the sensation of their hot mouth on her breasts. Her nipple between their lips, Lane teased it with their tongue, nipping it lightly between their teeth.
She bucked in their lap, already needy. It had been so long since she’d been touched like this. Lane hissed in approval as her hips began to writhe, arching against them with want.
“Remember when I refused to fuck you here?” they asked, pulling back to smirk at her. Cassidy gripped their shoulders.
“This better not be history repeating.” She bit her lip and Lane laughed. They pushed her off them and took her hand, pulling her over to the tent.
“This time I came prepared,” they said, tugging open the tent flap so she could see the bed inside. Cassidy paused.
“An air mattress?” she guessed. “That sounds potentially dangerous.”
“Oh, it definitely will be,” Lane said already pressing her down onto the neatly tucked bedsheets.
Afterward, they got half dressed, Cassidy stealing Lane’s shirt, partially buttoned and lounging back against their body on the picnic rug, sipping wine, watching the stars come out. She hadn’t thought of Kinsey in hours. It felt strange. They’d been so in each other’s space for so long, so fraught with pleasant, all-consuming tension. And yet, here in Lane’s arms, she finally understood that it was different somehow.
She pulled away from Lane and went over to find her phone. There were two messages from Kinsey.
You good? Hope so. Please don’t murder me
I’m hoping by your lack of response that you’re getting wildly nailed right now and not crying and fighting
Cassidy laughed, sending the only response she could.
I’m going to love you both forever
