Page 96 of Saving Graces
“I love her,” they said, eyes big, willing Kinsey to understand.
“Why are you telling me this and not her?”
“Because I want to know if there’s still any point in telling her.” Lane breathed out in a rush. “Or if me being here is just going to fuck up her life.”
“That’s up to Cassidy,” Kinsey pointed out.
Lane ran their fingers through their hair and for a second, their hair mussed, they looked about eight years old.
“Kinsey,” they said quietly. “Come on. Just tell me. Is there any point in me trying here?”
“Lane! For fuck’s sake,” she snapped. “Don’t you think you should try anyway? Even if you thought she’d given up or moved on or was sleeping with me or anyone else, don’t you think you should try?”
Lane’s head jerked up, their eyes going sharp.
“Of course,” they said tightly. “I just want to know what I’m up against here.”
Kinsey watched them for a beat, her arms crossed tightly across her chest. Then she took pity on them.
“There’s no one else,” she said. “I didn’t fuck your girlfriend, if that’s what you’re asking.”
Lane swallowed.
“I’m sorry,” they said. “That was shitty of me.”
“No,” she admitted. “I thought about it a couple of times.”
Lane nodded for about three minutes straight, clearly unsure how to manage that.
“It’s hard,” they said eventually, “watching your person get so swept up. The music, the band, you. I get it though… I think,” they said. “And I want her to be happy, whatever that looks like.”
Kinsey nodded. She didn’t know how to explain it. The whole thing was intense, she of all people knew that.
“What happened?” Kinsey asked, picking at the fringe of a throw pillow. “I mean, you don’t have to tell me. It’s just that what happened to Cassidy kind of happened to me too, in a way.”
Lane frowned, but after a while they shrugged.
“We’ve all got our shit,” they said hesitantly. “And seriously, Kinsey… not everyone’s childhood looked like yours. You and your mom and dad that loved you and your brother and stayed together and took care of you right. I’m not saying it was perfect,” they added at the slight flinch on her face, “but you clearly got all the ingredients you needed to know how to love and be loved. Sometimes that shit goes wrong and fixing that kind of wiring can take your whole damn life.”
After Lane had eventually left, Kinsey took a minute to think about that. It wasn’t a whole answer, but in a way, it was enough.
When Cassidy arrived back, her hair windblown, her cheeks flushed pink from the world outside and a big bag of pastries in her hand, Kinsey had made up her mind. In the end, it didn’t matter what Lane wanted or what Kinsey wanted. All that mattered was Cassidy.
“You,” Kinsey said, pointing at her bandmate. “I’ve got a new plan for our day.”
“Really? What?” asked Cassidy, her blue eyes bright.
“Do you trust me?” she asked.
Cassidy cocked her head, considering her.
“Yeah,” she shrugged.
“Then put on something cute,” she said, “and pack an overnight bag.”
Downstairs was the hire car she’d arranged. Cassidy looked at her in surprise as she pressed the key fob and chucked her own bag in the back seat. She made Cassidy look away as she entered the location into the GPS and then pulled out of the car park. Cassidy frowned at the screen.
“Two and a half hours?” she asked, incredulously.
