Page 49 of Saving Graces
“I will literally always love you more,” she said, her eyes both steady and amused. Rosalie huffed. But it was hard to be mad at her after that.
Now though, in her room late at night, it was equally hard not to feel just a little bit forlorn as she thought of Savannah off on her date right now. Then she heard a sound. Someone was chucking pebbles at her window.
“Rach?” The name slipped out her mouth in an instant.
Her heart racing, she threw the window open. There, in the darkness, kicking her heels slightly in the grass, stood Caitlin.
“Hey,” Caitlin said, tucking back a strand of her long dark hair, her big brown eyes nervous in the moonlight. “I was just… wondering what you were up to?”
Within half an hour they were making out.
Jake was history.
Caitlin made soft sounds when Rosalie kissed her that made her knees go weak. She tasted like strawberry lip gloss and while she wasn’t ready to go all the way, there was definite under the bra action and Rosalie quickly realized it wasn’t just one girl who could make her stomach clench with her smile.
They wore out their phones texting each other and talking for hours late at night when Caitlin couldn’t sneak out to make out with her all over Nashville. On lazy afternoons when her mom was at work, they fooled around in Caitlin’s bed exploring all the ways to make each other gasp. Savannah met her and while Caitlin was in the bathroom she looked at Rosalie and rolled her eyes.
“She’s cute or whatever,” she sighed, “but I don’t know that I trust her.”
“Don’t worry,” Rosalie told her with a huge grin, “I’ll always love you more.” Savannah shot her a fond exasperated look and Rosalie quickly added in an urgent whisper, “Oh my god but don’t ever tell her that!”
Savannah was right though, and three months later when Caitlin cheated on her with a boy from school and Rosalie showed up crying, Savannah kicked her girlfriend out so she could stay. A fortnight later when Hannah dumped her, partly because she said Savannah always picked her best friend over her, Rosalie was furious.
“Whatever,” Rosalie grumbled. “You couldn’t have kept dating her - Savannah and Hannah sounds ridiculous. You only liked her because she was a redhead anyway.” Savannah laughed through her snot and tears and Rosalie held her hand.
“You were right,” Rosalie said, after a while. “We would have fucked it up too if we’d tried it.”
“Told you,” said Savannah, sadly. They curled up on either end of the couch and watched movies until they both passed out.
Their first big fight was nine months later when Rosalie came over one day after school to tell Savannah she was going to Cal State to study social work in the Fall.
Her senior year of high school had blitzed by, in a haze of trauma that had engulfed them both. When she made the decision she had to leave Tennessee for good, it was with deep sorrow and relief.
“You’re leaving,” Savannah had said flatly. She looked small, hugging her knees, still in her waitressing uniform after work. “After everything.”
Rosalie frowned. “I kind of thought you’d be happy for me considering.”
“Happy for you?” Savannah said incredulously. “Sure. I’m really happy for you. You can just leave, and forget us all, and forget any of this happened and go and live in fucking California.”
“Isn’t that understandable?” she cried. “Why wouldn’t I want to forget?”
Savannah had gone white and then red.
“Glad to know I meant so much to you after all,” she said stiffly as she got to her feet. Rosalie jumped up too.
“I didn’t mean you! Of course I don’t mean you.”
“Why not?” Savannah hissed. “You’re off to college where you’re going to end up becoming some kind of horrible, snobby, know-it-all intellectual; why not forget your old friend, the dumb hick waitress back home?”
Her bedroom door slammed in Rosalie’s face making her literally scream with frustration.
She left. She was fucking furious. For Savannah not to get it was beyond awful, and then to make it all about her and her feelings… It was selfish and shitty and Rosalie was done with it all. Even Savannah.
Rosalie was back an hour later. She didn’t even knock, just slipped straight into the bedroom where Savannah was still sitting on the floor, her eyes red with crying. Rosalie pulled her into her arms and held her, her own tears falling.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “You should be going to college too. We both know you’re smarter than me.”
Savannah turned her head away.
