Page 41 of Saving Graces
“Oh, a bit?” Rosalie felt her pulse starting to race as the urge to finally have the fight Savannah’s disappearance had denied her pounded in her bloodstream.
“Yes,” Savannah said. “I needed some time… to get over you, okay?”
Rosalie’s lips had already parted but the pointed words she had ready suddenly died.
“What?” she asked.
Savannah scrunched her eyes shut for a long moment. When she opened them again, she went to sit on the bed before she seemed to think better of it. She sat on the floor, leaning against the bed instead, looking up at Rosalie until she finally gave in and went to sit next to her.
“I meant what I said,” Savannah told her eventually. “I don’t think I could deal with losing you.”
“You’ve got a weird way of showing it,” Rosalie pointed out.
Savannah sighed. “Yeah, I know.”
“The getting over me thing?” Rosalie prodded.
“Ugh,” Savannah groaned. “You don’t let anything go, do you?”
“Literally never.”
Savannah pulled her knees up and lay her head on them.
“The thing is,” she said, “that you’re kind of everything.” Rosalie flinched in surprise. “I’ve never met anyone like you,” Savannah said softly. “You let me - a stranger - into your life and your bed. You kept me safe, you made me laugh, you gave me books. You made me about three-hundred-and-twenty sandwiches. You never judged me, you always made me feel comfortable. You’re funny and you’re sweet. And…” she paused, frowning down at her fingers, “you’re beautiful.” She swallowed hard. “God, that night at the party? I know we were high but I wanted to kiss you, so badly.”
“Oh,” Rosalie said, dumbly.
Savannah huffed.
“You were always so oblivious like you had no idea how gorgeous I thought you were. But even though I tried, I just couldn’t stop seeing you that way.” She looked down again. “And then… that night that we…”
“Had sex?”
“Had sex,” Savannah said, swallowing. “It was so… unbelievable. And everything I’ve ever wanted in my whole life.”
“So you said let’s never do it again, and left?”
Savannah sighed. She stared down at her feet, hard, like her shoes had the answers.
“The problem is, I think I love you. And I think I love you more than that.”
Rosalie’s mouth opened and then closed.
“Hm?” was all she managed.
Savannah’s expression turned exasperated. She glared at her.
“I said, you asshole, that I love you. And I don’t want us to fuck because I don’t want you to be my girlfriend or whatever, because we’re literally seventeen and eighteen and we will screw it up in about five minutes flat and then I will lose you! And I just have this… feeling… that you’re too important to me for that. So yeah, I needed some space to get over you, so we could move the fuck on. Okay?”
Rosalie gaped at Savannah, her mouth falling open. Then she turned and stared at the wall in front of them because it was far less distracting and confusing. Her mind raced and her heart pounded in her chest. This felt about a thousand miles from the last time a friend had told her they loved her. But eventually, she grabbed Savannah’s hand and held it tight.
“I love you too,” Rosalie realized. A sense of wonder hit her as she examined Savannah’s face. “Let’s be two people who don’t have sex with each other, forever.”
Savannah bit down on her lip, before she broke into one of those smiles she had, that could just about blind a girl.
“Okay.”
“Okay.” Rosalie agreed. “It’s a deal.” They sat in silence for a minute, hand in hand, then she looked over at Savannah again. “Do you want to make out one more time first?”
