Page 39 of Falls From Grace
“I don’t think he’s ever heard me sing,” Brynn mused.
Savannah sat up straight.
“What?”
“I don’t really sing around other people. Ever since my mom told me I wasn’t talented, I don’t know. I don’t like people witnessing me sucking at something.”
“If I hadn’t walked in on you, I’d never have heard you sing?”
“Probably not.”
“But Noah’s your husband! You don’t sing in the car, or the shower or something?”
Brynn did, in fact, sing in the car, and in the shower, when she was in her own home - the one she lived in without Noah - but she couldn’t exactly own up to that. Not wanting to lie she just shrugged.
“How long have you been married?”
“Four years,” Brynn blurted the first number that came to mind, starting to hate herself. Songwriting felt so close and intimate. Lying to Savannah was feeling increasingly fucked up.
“What was your wedding like?” There was an odd, sad note in Savannah’s voice. Brynn guessed she was probably remembering her own wedding. For a moment, she decided to confess all and fuck the consequences. Then she thought of Noah, his care in taking her here, the fact it was a risk he’d taken for her. She thought of his concerns for Savannah herself, if the truth came out now, right in the middle of their writing process. She thought fast.
“My mom wouldn’t let me get away without a big, fancy wedding,” she said truthfully. “Hundreds of guests, in a giant church, with a ridiculous designer white dress.”
She was essentially describing both her siblings’ weddings, the opposite of what she herself would ever want if she ever did it. An image flashed in her mind, of Savannah in a field, flowers in her hair, smiling into their kiss, and she felt it like a punch in the guts.
Back in reality, Savannah was nodding, her face glum. She seemed to be elsewhere. Her gaze zeroed in on Brynn’s hands.
“You don’t wear a ring,” she observed. Brynn went cold. She and Noah had never even considered that. She imagined the two of them shopping for cheap rings somewhere to complete the illusion and it felt psychopathic. Who would do that? What were they doing? She stared at Savannah, her mouth opening to say, we are idiots, we are dumb, dumb idiots, but Savannah already looked glum. To throw out her focus, or maybe even her trust, right in the middle of a writing breakthrough… well, now Brynn understood exactly why Noah didn’t want to shatter the process for her.
“We’re not really jewellery people,” she managed. “Do you want to…?” Brynn asked, gesturing back to the piano. They were so close to finishing another song and she wanted desperately to get out of this train of conversation and get that look off Savannah’s face.
“Yes,” sighed Savannah, her gaze swinging back to Brynn, a tired smile tracing back onto her features. “I’m not done with you yet.”
By two a.m. Brynn was woozy. Savannah was next to her on the piano bench, and she very slowly rested her heavy head on Brynn’s shoulder. It took all of her strength not to wrap her arms around her waist and sink into her body.
“Is that Tucker?” Brynn pricked up her ears and Savannah jumped up, dashing off out of the room to the sound of her son’s cries.
Brynn quietly tinkled the keys a moment longer. They’d completed the love song and - to Brynn’s shock and Savannah’s glee - almost completed a whole-ass second song. This one felt less of a love song and more of an internal battle, Savannah’s lines a pull and Brynn’s the push, all temptation and guilt. They seemed to have an unspoken agreement not to speak about what they were writing, instead just letting the songs be.
The minutes ticked away and Brynn began to realize Savannah probably wasn’t coming back. Just to be sure, she tiptoed down to Tucker’s room, only to find it empty. The door to the master suite was open and in the low glow of the nightlight, she could just make out Savannah lying in bed holding her sleeping son. Just as she was about to creep away, Savannah said her name in a low tone and gestured for her to come in.
She approached the bed, to say goodnight, feeling impossibly drawn to the cozy scene. Tucker was curled into his mama, fast asleep and assured by her presence. Savannah lay facing the door, half covered by the soft cushy blankets. Brynn couldn’t remember ever feeling this tired.
“Stay,” Savannah murmured softly, her eyes barely flickering open, and Brynn wanted to crumble into her arms. “We’ll write again in the morning.” Oh my god, the woman was mad. Brynn carefully sat on the edge of the bed, trying to figure out how to explain this to her without waking the child. God, the bed was soft. “Please don’t go,” came the whisper again, and as she watched, Savannah’s eyes drifted closed. She’d stay until they were both asleep and slip out. She rested her head on the pillow, just for a moment.
There was something warm and heavy on her chest. It constricted her breathing slightly, but she was so sleepy she didn’t mind. Then the weight jumped up and smashed back down and Brynn’s eyes flew open, her breath crushed out with an oof!
Tucker looked down at her with delight from his perch, straddling her sternum.
“Wake!” he shouted. Brynn groaned and scrunched her eyes closed. She heard a chuckle and turned her head to see Savannah sitting on top of the bed a few feet away, looking far too bright and amused for her liking.
“Whassatime?” Brynn croaked, blinking blearily in the soft lamplight. As far as she could tell, it was still dark outside. Savannah picked up her phone to check.
“Six-fifteen,” she announced. “What a sleep-in.” She smiled wryly, hugging one knee and wriggling her bare toes on top of the comforter. “Tucker’s been dying to wake you since five.”
This explained why Savannah and Tucker were both fresh and fully dressed while Brynn felt like a barely alive human. She grumbled exhaustedly and tried to hide her face in the pillow.
“Hug!” Tucker bounced again and then squished down her body to give her a full body embrace with his hands around the back of her neck. Grunting, she rolled on her side so he was no longer crushing her and cuddled him into her side, resting her face in his soft curls. He giggled happily.
