Page 36 of Falls From Grace
Whenever we’re together we’re far apart
Every word you say gets written on my heart
Each time I look at you you look away
I see you every… single… day
But I’m in love with your ghost
Savannah’s pounding heart was in her throat.
“Wh-what…” she choked out and the music died instantly. “What the fuck, Brynn?”
Chapter Thirteen
“What the fuck, Brynn?”
Brynn jumped as if she’d been shot, wrenching her hands back from the keys. Savannah was standing behind her, looking like she’d seen a ghost. Brynn had never been so embarrassed in her whole life.
“Oh my god, I’m sorry-” she was already apologizing, letting Tucker wriggle down and run to his mama. He hugged her legs, but Savannah didn’t seem to even notice.
“Mama, mama!” he cried, and she picked him up like an automaton, her eyes never leaving Brynn’s. She seemed to be in some kind of shock or a cold rage, Brynn wasn’t sure. Perhaps the piano was precious?
“I shouldn’t have touched it,” Brynn apologized awkwardly. “Tucker was miserable and the music seemed to soothe him, so-”
“Why are you… how did you know that song?” Savannah sounded accusing, and Brynn frowned.
“Uh, you literally never stop singing or humming it?” She pointed out, and Savannah blinked. “You and Noah both. It’s prettier when you do it,” she admitted. “I’m sorry, it was just stuck in my head. I didn’t mean to upset you-”
Tucker started complaining loudly, and Savannah did something Brynn had never, ever seen her do. She carried him over to the far corner, plunked him in an armchair, and switched on the television. Gazing up as the Bluey theme song played, Tucker looked like all his Christmases had come at once. Then Savannah walked into the kitchen, pulled out a bottle of red wine and poured herself a very large glass. Brynn got up to come join her, and Savannah stopped her with a strong gesture.
“No,” she said firmly. “Stay.”
With a gulp, Brynn backed away and sat back down on the piano bench. She’d stepped on something here and she had no idea how to fix it. She felt terrible, not to mention humiliated. Savannah walked back into the room, gripping her wine glass like a lifeline. She walked all the way over to Brynn and took a seat right next to her on the piano bench.
“Play that again,” she said. It wasn’t a request. Brynn flinched.
“I mean, I don’t really know it, I just- ”
“Play it, please.”
Brynn swallowed hard and rested her hands on the old, worn keys. She began to coax out the by now familiar melody.
“You’re the singer, you should- ”
“Brynn… just sing. Pretend I’m not here,” Savannah interrupted. Well, that was pretty much impossible. Brynn could feel the heat of her body almost touching her own as she played. She closed her eyes tightly and did the best she could to sing without straight up dying of embarrassment. She got to the end of the melody she knew and stopped. “Keep going, please,” Savannah murmured.
Brynn wanted to shrink into the floor. The words had been sneaking up in her for weeks, until they rang in her head every time she looked at Savannah. To sing them in her presence felt nauseating, especially in her amateur voice. Her voice cracked, but she scrunched her eyes closed even harder, feeling her way back through the lines. She thought of Savannah, in the snow, looking like a stupid, ridiculous goddamn angel from heaven, her golden hair flecked with stars, blue eyes gazing back at her, where just for a moment, Brynn wondered-
The song finished and she left her hands on the keys, her eyes closed, for just a moment longer. Then she slowly opened her eyes and looked at Savannah. She was crying.
Brynn took her hands off the keys fast.
“God, I’m sorry,” she flailed. “I’m- ”
“Where did that come from?” Savannah asked plainly, as if tears weren’t streaming down her cheeks. “That sound, those… words?”
“Oh.” Brynn faltered. “Noah called it the longing song. I mean… we’ve all been there, right?” Savannah didn’t answer. She nodded, then swiped at her face roughly.
