Page 24 of Falls From Grace
Savannah blinked at her. Brynn watched her face, hoping her scrutiny wasn’t too obvious. Savannah could be so unreadable sometimes. She hoped she hadn’t said something that offended her. Without her permission, her own hand reached out and squeezed Savannah’s arm, just briefly. A small smile crossed Savannah’s face, a warmth passing over her features before she bit her lip and changed the subject.
“You haven’t seen a lot of real winters in your life, have you?”
“Nope. Californian born and bred,” Brynn agreed, the subject change giving her mild whiplash.
“You don’t travel?”
“Not a lot,” she admitted. “My parents are workaholics. Our vacations were usually us kids at summer camps, so they didn’t have to take time off. Then I was in pre-med, then med school, so it was all work all the time. Family curse,” she said wryly.
“So I guess you’re a nerd too,” Savannah observed, polite enough not to probe the benign emotional neglect of Brynn’s own childhood. Brynn smiled and shrugged. “Why did you leave med school?” Savannah asked softly.
Brynn had various shallow answers for this she’d rehearsed over the years. But the fact that Savannah had said leave instead of quit and had already been vulnerable with her left Brynn surprised by an urge to be honest for once.
“I pretty much straight up had a mental breakdown,” she said simply. She kept her gaze on the dark sky and tumultuous forest outside. “There was a lot of family pressure, a lot of internal pressure. There’s a lot of competition and not a lot of support. The work is… well, it’s hard.” She frowned. “My supervisor was sexually harassing me. I was assaulted by a patient. I tried to tell my parents, but…” she trailed off with a shrug. She risked a glance sideways. Savannah was just watching quietly, no judgment or pity in her face.
“It was about a month before my final exams. I was trying to study and I just… realized I would literally rather die.” She didn’t go into the horrifying details of it all, but when she met Savannah’s eyes again, she saw understanding there. “My roommate found me in time,” she said simply. “When I woke up in the hospital, I had a panic attack. Not so much at what had happened, but that I was back there. I signed myself out and never set foot in a hospital again.”
Savannah said nothing, but her hand slipped into Brynn’s and squeezed. The warmth and softness of her skin pulled her back from the dark reminiscence all at once. She took a breath and smiled at Savannah, gently pulling her hand back with regret.
“Damn, you’d make a good therapist.” She tried for a smile. “You’re kinda easy to talk to, I’m sorry. You probably need to get going. What do I need to know about Tucker? Like, what should I feed him for lunch? Wooden coffee aside.”
Savannah looked surprised.
“Oh, I’m not leaving today. I figured it would be easiest on him if I were here while you settle in. I can show you around and explain everything while you both acclimatize,” she explained.
Brynn swallowed hard.
“Makes sense,” she said. “Thank you.” She’d accidentally signed up to hours of time with the one woman Noah’s wife didn’t want to stop gazing at. Happily, at that moment Tucker burst in, coffee apparently forgotten, a small toy digger in his hand.
“Fix it!” he exclaimed, shoving it at Brynn. She sat down in an armchair and turned the toy over in her hand, thrilled for the distraction. It seemed intact. Tucker stared up at her, hopefully, his hands on her knee.
“Uh,” she said, making the bucket move up and down. Savannah reached out and took it, their fingers brushing slightly.
“Bzzzzzt,” she said, pretending to drill the side of it with her finger.“Bzzt, bzzzzt,” she turned it around a few times. “All fixed!” She handed it back to Tucker, who jumped up and down, holding it.
“All fixed!” he repeated and ran the digger up and down Brynn’s forearm.
“All that, and you’re a mechanic as well,” Brynn observed.
She didn’t have to look up to know the way Savannah’s full pink lower lip would move in response to the tease, but she looked up anyway.
They ate lunch together, Savannah explaining her philosophy of toddler mealtimes as they did.
“He has to come to the table and we decide the options, but he can eat as much or as little as he wants. If he’s hungry, he’ll eat. If he’s not, he won’t. I want him to get to trust his own body and I don’t want mealtimes to be a power struggle.”
“Seems fair. He’d win, right?” Brynn jested, taking a bite of the delicious potato salad that Savannah had served up out of the fridge.
“Uh, yeah,” said Savannah flatly. “Have you ever heard a two-year-old child scream at the top of their lungs and never stop?”
Brynn blinked, suddenly realizing what she had signed herself up for. Savannah raised an amused eyebrow as she watched her face.
“Okay, so if that happens, I can just give him whatever he wants until he stops screaming, right?” she tried hopefully. Tucker was swinging his legs in his highchair and looking adorable and innocent. Savannah bit her lip and shook her head wryly.
“Afraid not. I’m not trying to raise a monster.”
“So what do I do?”
“Well, we’re the grownups, so we get to set the limits. He’s allowed to be angry about it. He’s allowed to be sad. The limits stay, the feelings stay.”
