Page 20 of Falls From Grace
Brynn answered. She was still in her workout clothes from earlier and didn’t look like she’d broken a sweat yet. Her expression was wary.
“Hey,” she greeted her. “Everything okay?”
“Have I done something to offend you?” Savannah blurted. Brynn frowned, concern flaring in her eyes. She let the door fall open further.
“No,” she denied. “Nothing. Why do you ask?”
“I just-” Savannah tried to laugh, to break the tension. “I feel like you’re avoiding me. And it’s okay,” she rushed on, “if you are. I mean, you don’t have to hang out with me just because you’re in my house, I get it… I just don’t want to have upset you and not know it.”
“Savannah…” Brynn’s eyes were soft. For a moment, it felt like she was about to reach out and hug her, touch her, something. But the moment passed. “You haven’t done anything wrong. I’m sorry if I’ve been distant. I just-” she paused, and Savannah very clearly understood she was looking for an excuse. “I’m trying to use this time away to focus on study. I’ve decided to go back to med school.” She gestured behind her and there was, in fact, a giant textbook open on the dining table, a steaming coffee cup to the side.
“Med school?” She tried to imagine Brynn as a doctor. She was kind and caring and smart, but something about the picture seemed off.
“Yeah. I’d almost completed it… once. I’m going to go back and do it right, but first…” she grimaced for effect, “I need to figure out exactly how much I’ve forgotten.”
Somewhere in all this, something was missing, Savannah could feel it. The studying was obviously real, but it wasn’t the whole truth. Savannah stood, searching Brynn’s eyes for a moment, but Brynn just smiled back, not budging from the doorway until she started to feel stupid. Whatever was going on, their budding friendship was clearly over.
“Okay,” she said softly. “Well, that’s great to hear. Good luck.” She offered her own bright - fake - smile and turned to go.
“Savannah,” Brynn called her back. Savannah turned, partway down the corridor. Brynn scratched the back of her neck again, the same awkward gesture, the same rise of the t-shirt. “I like you, a lot. I enjoyed hanging out with you and Tucker. You - you’re both - wonderful. I just…I gotta focus, you know?”
“Yeah,” Savannah said wryly. “Me too, I guess. Catch you around, Brynn.” She walked away. It was fine. Something was going on, but it was fine. Maybe Brynn and Noah were having a rough patch. Maybe Brynn was somehow secretly some kind of highly temperamental person, easily taking offence and Savannah had- Whatever. It was all fine. She wouldn’t give it any more thought.
She’d forgotten to cancel Megan for the afternoon, and the young woman was already in the suite waiting for Tucker to wake. Savannah wasn’t in the mood to interact with the nanny, so she left. She picked over her lunch, her appetite minimal. The wind hurled shards of rain at the windows, but she couldn’t stand to be inside any longer. She marched grimly along the lake path in her raincoat, water streaming down her face, soaking her hair and her jeans. When she couldn’t feel her fingers anymore, she trudged back toward the house. She caught sight of Chester through the living room window, pacing around with his phone, and did a quick pivot, instead entering via the band room.
She pulled her wet clothes off and sat on the sofa in her t-shirt and underwear. She picked up her guitar, strumming out her mood and, to her surprise, the music began to flow.
“It’s brilliant,” Noah told her, two days later. “It’s heartbreaking and melancholy… a real punch in the gut, but kind of twisty? I love it.” She smiled at him from her seat in the band room, guitar on her lap.
“Not too dark?”
“Perfectly dark,” he said seriously. “So far we’ve got rage, sweetness and pain… pretty sure there’s nothing you can’t do.” She scoffed, pleased that he liked the new song. His smile faded, though. “I’m wondering though… if maybe I should just… go?”
“Huh?” She startled. “No! Why?”
“You’re writing these killer tracks pretty much despite me instead of because of me. You see that, right? We try and try and then I leave you alone and you just suddenly explode with something.”
“That’s not true! Make Me Wonder we wrote together, and it’s beautiful.”
“I barely wrote on that at all; it’s mostly you… your lyrics, your hooks. I was just the glue that pulled it all together. It’s okay.” He waved his hand as she started to object. “I’m not offended. I’m loving what you’re coming up with and I feel like possibly the best thing I could do to help would be to just get out of the way.” He was struggling not to look downcast, but he didn’t sound bitter or bereft. It didn’t seem to be about ego, and Savannah appreciated his honesty. She tried to find the right words to make him stay.
“We have three songs,” she said, “and I need at least another nine. This is all part of the process. You are a part of the process. We haven’t truly hit our stride yet, but I need you, Noah. I really need you. I knew it the first time I heard your album and I know it now. I can’t do all this without you.” She felt panicked. “Please don’t leave now.” She knew she sounded a little desperate, but then, she was.
“I mean, if you’re sure,” Noah said uncertainly. “I want to stay. I just want to help rather than hinder, you know?”
“You are,” she swore. She wasn’t ready to wear the responsibility alone, and she was sure they’d crack the code of writing together soon. “I actually have something else I started, and I wanted to work on it with you.”
“Something else?” he said, his smile growing. “You’re on a real roll here.”
“Yeah,” she smiled back. “It’s a love song. For Tucker.” She started to strum. He picked up his own guitar as he listened and together they started to work.
The next day, the rain and wind finally disappeared. The air was freezing and the clouds hung around, but the storm had finally dissipated. At Savannah’s encouraging, Megan had wrapped Tucker in his coat and taken him out for a walk in his stroller, while she had finally gotten to go for a real run through the woods. Mud splashed all the way up her legs as she ran down the rain sodden track, but she felt exhilarated and thrilled to finally be free. After her shower, she found she still didn’t want to be indoors, so she wandered out to find her son.
On her way around the lake path, she saw the stroller parked on the beach and spotted Tucker and Megan sitting side by side in the middle of the small jetty. Her son was pointing over at the water and chattering brightly. She smiled. Like his mama, Tucker was clearly the outdoorsy kind. She heard voices and turned to see Noah and Brynn walking in from the lake shore path toward her. Noah was rugged up in a big down jacket, but Brynn was still underdressed and looked frozen. She might have looked damn good in her leather jacket, but Savannah had no idea why the woman wouldn’t just cave in already and buy a real winter coat.
Her first instinct in seeing the couple was happiness - two people she really liked, in one place - before she remembered the weird distance from Brynn. She straightened her spine, wondering if the coolness would stay in place with Noah there as the glue between them. Maybe it wouldn’t? As they got closer, Brynn smiled at her warmly enough, but then her gaze slid past her quickly, a frown appearing.
“Hey!” she shouted. She started to run, shoving past Savannah and bolting for the lake. Savannah whirled around to see Tucker, just as his small body leaned too far out over the edge of the jetty and he slipped with barely a splash into the freezing water below. Her own scream stuck in her throat as she raced toward the lake.
