Page 102 of Breaking All The Rules
There was a quiet warning in her voice, like she’d read in his eyes why he was here and she didn’t want to go there. But that was too bad, because he did. Okay, maybe her work wasn’t the best place, but it wouldn’t take long. And if she rejected him, he’d turn around and walk away and never come back. That would be the end. But he had to say it.
“I’m moving to LA.”
“What?” Beatrice blinked. Yeah…that she hadn’t been expecting. “Austin? No.” She leaned forward a little. “You love Credence. You love working in the police department there.”
“Yeah, I do. But…I love you more.”
A giddy rush to his head almost took Austin out at the knees. There, he’d said it. It was done. Now it was in the lap of the gods or fate or the fucking alignment of the planets.
Or whatever.
“And if you want, if you need to be here,” he continued, “and you happen to love me back, which I’m hoping you do, then LA is where I want to be, too.”
“Austin…I…” She shook her head.
Clearly, he’d floored her, and Austin didn’t know whether that was a good thing or a bad thing. Had she not ever even thought about the possibility?
“This is…” She seemed to be searching for a word to fully encapsulate her disbelief. “Unexpected.”
“Really, Beatrice? Really? We’ve been living together for a couple of months. Is it really that hard to fathom?”
She recoiled a little, then covered with a quick, dismissive half laugh. “We weren’t living together.”
Austin frowned. Was she being serious? “I slept in your bed every night. My clothes are in your closet. My toothbrush is at your sink. I got you a cat. You gave me a key. What the hell did you think we were doing?”
“That was just…” She swatted at the air like she was swinging at a fly. “Convenience.”
Convenience? Okay, they might have studiously avoided talking about their relationship status when they’d been together—clearly a big mistake, he was realizing now—but he’d thought it was pretty obvious they were living together.
“Oh my God.” Austin pressed his fingers into his temples. Was this really happening?
“Austin…” She looked helpless for a beat or two. “You’re ten years younger than me. I don’t shack up with twenty-five-year-olds.”
The incredulity in her voice struck him hard, and he realized suddenly she’d never been on the same page as him. “God.” He shoved a hand through his hair. He’d been a fool. “You never even considered us as a couple, did you? You never even entertained the idea?”
“Austin…” She spread her hands in appeal. “You’re…twenty-five.”
Of course. It was the age thing again. She’d labeled him fun. Play. A distraction. Not a person she could have something real with. He was Junior.
“You don’t want to give everything up for me,” she continued. “Someone who’s ten years older than you.”
He gritted his teeth. “Yeah, Beatrice. I do.”
“No, you don’t.” She shook her head. “Go back to Credence. To your job. Go fu…” She stumbled over the word for a moment but plowed on. “Fuck other twenty-five-year-olds. Shack up with one of them. Marry her if you want. Have babies with her. Don’t you want babies?”
Austin’s head spun. This had jumped ahead fast. “I don’t know. Yeah, I guess.” He’d always assumed he would have children. “If I could have them with you.”
“Oh, no.” She groaned. “No, no. no. Not me. I have old ovaries, Austin. Bad eggs. Overcooked eggs. I’m running out of time, and I don’t even know if I want babies.”
“So we won’t have babies.”
“Austin.” She came out from behind her desk, her gaze imploring as she stopped in front of him, leaving about a foot between them as she reached out and touched his forearm. It was bittersweet, and he closed his eyes briefly.
Her touch was all he wanted in his life, but he knew this was goodbye.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, and he opened his eyes to find her looking at him, clearly unhappy. “But I don’t love you. Please just go back to Credence.”
Her quiet words cut like an axe through his heart, splicing it in two, but the certainty in her gaze was even more damaging. That gouged at his soul. He’d told his truth and spilled his heart and now he had his answer.
