Page 127 of Ravage
My fingers comb through my hair to fix the second mess of it my sister made, and I hope that I don’t look like a complete mess. “No. Ignore her,” I grumble.
Raegan chews on her lip, looking concerned. I drop the mood Vera put me in and focus instead on Rae. On the time we finally have alone together.
My lips turn up to a smile, and I stand to give her a playful nudge. “Really, don’t worry about it. Did you pick out tonight’s movie?”
She raises her hands in front of her to show the movie she checked out from the manor library. It’s a horror film, which means she’ll be burying her face in my shirt for eighty percent of it.
Perfect.
I didn’t work up the courage that night to make my move, and now I’m glad I hadn’t. I trusted her. Cared about her. Liked her. I really fucking liked her. I would have done anything back then to make her happy. To protect her.
When I found out that she was the reason my sister was dead, it was like a dagger to the heart.
My sister, who had rooted for us to be together, who had tried to help me make it happen with her…
How could she have done that to Vera? Why would she do that? And why won’t she tell me any-fucking-thing about what happened other than admitting that she killed her? What else is she hiding?
The only explanation is that she was conspiring with GE the entire time, getting close to us to report on what we were looking into, and then Vera must have found out and Raegan killed her before she could tell us. That’s the only thing that makes sense.
I can’t accept anything else.
And Raegan doesn’t seem willing to give me any alternatives anyway.
What has been driving me crazy since she showed back up is that she’s acting like the Raegan on the island. Harder and angrier, yes, but I can still see the girl I’d fallen for beneath it all.
Of course, she’s the same. She was playing you before, and she’s playing all of you again now.
But then why is she fighting against Gifted Enterprise? Who is Gordon to her? Why did she react like that when she saw him again? Why is GE so interested in getting her back if she’s part of them?
What should all make sense and click into place isn’t adding up now that she’s here. It all made sense in my head as I thought I’d figured it all out. Now that she’s here, everything’s fucked.
I actually feel guilty for telling GE she was here. I’d been pissed when I heard she killed the goon that Kellan and Jackson had been interrogating. I assumed she wanted him dead before he spilled any more information about GE, and that was how she was covering it up. So, I went to take matters into my own hands.
Then when I held a gun to her head…I couldn’t do it. I didn’t have my answers. But most of all…I couldn’t while she looked at me like that. Like she forgave me for what I was doing. Like she’d given up.
I moved on to my next plan after that. Between my brothers keeping a closer eye on me to make sure I didn’t leave the Tower again and me knowing I wouldn’t be able to pull the trigger, I outsourced. She’s a part of GE, right? So why not have them pick her up and remove her from town?
It was an impulsive move. One I did out of anger at myself for not getting any answers or taking my revenge when it was right in front of me.
I regretted it almost immediately.
But once that picture was submitted to the paper, there was no taking it back.
I hadn’t considered that GE would stick around. That sending that picture would put a spotlight on this city and put everyone else in danger.
After everything I’ve done to try and help my brothers, it never feels like it’s enough. All I do is make it worse. By being hunted for my gift. By being impulsive. And angry. And bitter. And now this.
I’m at fault for Guild members being taken.
I’m the fucking idiot.
And Raegan made me realize that.
It’s all I can think about now. What I’ve done and that she’s fucking right. I’m pissed at myself for making such a dumb, impulsive decision. And I’m pissed that she’s the one who called me out on it.
I’m supposed to be one of the good guys. Protecting others like us. She’s supposed to be the enemy. The one working with GE who doesn’t care about others like us.
Fuck.
