Page 87 of Trials of a One Night Stand
The door closes behind me—again—and I’m left wondering how everything went so wrong.
As I drive aimlessly, the city lights blurring as night falls, my mind replays our argument on an endless loop, each word cutting deeper with every repetition. How did I get it so wrong? Twice. I had gone in hoping to listen to what she wants, but instead, there was more talking. Yes, I apologized, but is it a real apology if you don’t change your behavior?
I pull over at a scenic overlook, the city sprawling below me. The view usually fills me with pride and ambition. Tonight, it makes me feel small and lost.
Do you even know me at all?
Jayne’s words echo in my head. I thought I did. I thought I knew exactly what she needed, what would make her happy. But now I’m not so sure.
I pull out my phone, thumb hovering over my contacts. I could call her and try to explain again. But what would I say? More importantly, would I actually listen this time? Besides, she asked for space. The least I can do is give it to her.
Instead, I call the one person who’s always been brutally honest with me.
“Hey, big bro.” Ashton’s voice comes through the speaker. “Heard you were at Jayne’s earlier. Everything okay?”
I let out a heavy sigh. “Not really, Ash. I really messed up.”
There’s a pause on the other end. “Want to talk about it?”
And suddenly, I do. The whole story comes pouring out—my plans for our future, Jayne’s reaction, our fight. Ashton listens quietly, only occasionally humming in acknowledgment.
When I finish, I’m met with long silence. “You still there?”
“Yes, I am.” Ashton’s voice is uncharacteristically serious. “Nate, have you ever considered that maybe Jayne doesn’t want you to save her? That maybe she just wants to be supported?”
His words hit me like a ton of bricks. “I-I guess I never thought of it that way.”
“That might be the problem,” Ashton says gently. “You’re so used to fixing things, to being in control. You don’t like to leave anything up to chance. You’ve been like that since we were little, trying to make the most of when our parents happened to notice us.”
I think back to growing up, and he’s right. I’d try to make Mom and Dad see that we weren’t afterthoughts, that we were their kids who wanted time and love from them. I forced Ashton into tennis lessons so we could be more like Dad and get him to practice with us. I put together modeling portfolios with the help of our handyman Joe, who had an interest in photography, so Mom could manage our careers.
“Remember the Lowe constitution?” Ashton asks.
I can’t help but laugh. I’d come up with that to list what our responsibilities in the family should be to try to get our parents to spend more time with us. That hadn’t gone over too well with Mom and Dad. “It was my first attempt at negotiating a contract.”
“Right.” Ashton laughs too.
Except I’d failed. Nothing had changed, which only made me try harder. “It could’ve worked.”
“But relationships aren’t like business deals, bro. They never have been. You can’t just decide what’s best for someone else. I thought you learned that lesson with Sam and Hildy, but maybe not. In this case with Jayne, you can’t decide what’s best for both of you.”
I lean back in my seat, letting Ashton’s words sink in. “So what do I do now?”
“Now?” Ashton laughs. “Now, you listen. Really listen. To what Jayne wants, what she needs. And maybe, just maybe, you’ll learn something about her and yourself.”
“Did Chloe teach you all this?”
“A lot of it. Other stuff, Roddy helped out. And a lot of on-the-job training and mistakes.”
“You made mistakes with her?”
“I still do, bro. That’s part of marriage. But moving past them only makes you stronger as a couple.”
“Fuck, wouldn’t that be nice?”
“Good luck, man.”
“Thanks.” As I hang up, I feel a glimmer of hope. I’ve made mistakes, big ones. But maybe it’s not too late to fix them. Not by taking control but by letting go.
