Page 116 of Beating Heart
“Usually, I just know what to do. I’ve always had this plan, and well, the last one got blown to bits,” I said, over a teary laugh. “And it was for the better, so I’m not complaining. But I don’t trust myself anymore. So what if I’m walking into heartache again?”
“You just said that you trust Nash, and you don’t trust yourself. So is it you that you’re doubting?”
“Maybe. I’m just—I see her with Cutler, and it makes me feel like a huge asshole—” My words broke on a sob, and I just let it all out.
“Emmy, talk to me. Why would you be an asshole?”
“Because I’m jealous, Mom. I’ve never been a jealous person. Even when Farah slept with my fiancé, it wasn’t jealousy I felt. It was betrayal. And anger. All followed by relief.” I took a few breaths and calmed my breathing. “But this is definitely jealousy. Like she could take them away, and I wouldn’t survive that loss.”
“Well, you know how I always say that things happen for a reason?”
“Yes,” I said, rolling my eyes as I reached over to the coffee table for a tissue to wipe my nose.
“Maybe this needed to happen to help you decide what to do about the future and Boston and all that you’ve been wrestling with up until now.”
“How so? I’m more confused than ever now.”
“No, you’re not. Because now you know what’s most important to you. And that solves the first issue. It sounds like your heart is in Magnolia Falls.”
“Yeah, well, so is my boyfriend’s ex. And she said she might be moving here. I can’t compete with her. She’s Cutler’s mother. She’s Nash’s baby mama.”
“Emerson,” she said, her voice stern.
“Mom,” I mimicked back in just as stern a tone.
“I think you should come home for a few days, and we’ll sort this out. Let them have this time, and save yourself the misery of watching it, okay?”
“Is that my Emmy?” I heard my father’s voice, and my mother told him the short version of what was going on. Before I could get in a word, he was grabbing the phone from her.
“Hey, baby girl,” he said.
“Hi, Dad.”
“I’ve already texted Bridger. You tell us when you want to leave, and he’ll have the helicopter come grab you so you don’t have to make that drive, okay? Come home, sweetie. We miss you.”
I nodded. “Okay. I’m going to try to get some sleep, and I’ll see how I feel when I wake up.”
“All right. Love you, baby girl.”
“Love you, too.”
My mom shouted the same sentiment, and I ended the call. I led Winnie down the hall and climbed back into bed and let sleep finally take me.
I woke to puppy kisses and rolled over to see it was well past lunchtime, and I’d slept a few hours.
Still no text from Nash. Obviously, there were red flags going off, because the man was always texting or calling, and that’s how it had been for weeks.
Something was different.
I decided to pull up my big-girl panties and text him.
Hey, I just wanted to check in. Are you doing okay?
Beating Heart
No. Things are really fucked-up.
What does that mean? Did something happen?
