Page 114 of Beating Heart
The sounds coming from his room.
Her voice. Her laugh. Her moans.
If I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes, I wouldn’t have believed it.
Farah and Collin were stark naked in his bed, in a compromising position, and I’d just stood there dumbfounded before I’d run out the door.
Unfortunately, I had very clear knowledge that the rug could be swept out from beneath your feet when you least expected it.
And Tara showing up last night had caught me off guard. Sure, Nash had prepared me that she was coming. But the way that she’d glared at me. The way she’d looked at them—like they were hers.
Like they belonged to her.
She was Cutler’s mother. The mother of Nash’s child.
That’ll get in a girl’s head.
So, I’d done what I did best. I’d pulled out the Rice Krispie treats recipe and started making numerous batches of unicorn Krispies for Cutler’s big day this week. I’d planned to do that today anyway. Maybe I hadn’t planned to start at three o’clock in the morning, but I couldn’t sleep, and baking had always been what helped calm me.
I’d bought these clear little baggies to put each one in, with tags that read:
Thanks for making me the star of the day! XO Cutler Heart
So I’d get these bagged and tagged and freeze them so they’d be ready.
And so what if I made three times what I needed? I could give them to the girls. Or bring them to Midge for a treat. Or even Oscar, because he loved my baked goods. And I owed Janelle some treats for bringing me those beautiful flowers.
I opened the back door for Winnie to go outside once the sun came up. I hadn’t heard from Nash, but I figured he was busy dealing with all his baby mama drama.
I called Winnie back inside, just as I heard the door open next door. I spotted Tara and hurried back inside. I moved to the window and peeked outside to see Cutler in his jammies, running up the steps to the slide, as Tara waited for him at the bottom.
Why did that hurt so badly? I wanted the best for Cutler. And if having a relationship with his mama made him happy, I should want that, right?
I leaned against the door and slid down to the floor and cried.
I cried because I didn’t know where I fit into this equation.
I cried because I was afraid of getting hurt again.
I cried because just twenty-four hours ago, I was the happiest I’d ever been.
Life had a way of messing with you when you let your guard down.
There was a knock on my door, and I swiped at my cheeks and pulled myself together before pulling it open.
Cutler and Tara stood on my back porch, and he rushed me, wrapping his arms around my legs. “Good morning, Sunny. I just wanted to give you and Winnie a hug since you weren’t there when I woke up.”
My heart cracked at his words, and all I could do was bend down and hug him. No words came.
“Well, she lives next door, so you can always come say hello to your neighbor.” Tara’s lips were in a flat line, and her hands were crossed over her chest.
“Winnie!” Cutler called out as he ran toward her near my couch.
I cleared my throat as Tara and I just stood there awkwardly.
“It’s a nice morning, huh?” she asked, and I nodded.
“Yes. Is your Airbnb on the water?” I couldn’t think of anything else to ask.
