Page 82 of Beating Heart
Or my second or third.
Not when the mother of my child and I were giving it a try.
Not until right now.
Maybe it was the fact that she wasn’t staying, and that made it safe.
This attraction. This pull. It was keeping me up at night.
Every time I kissed Emerson Chadwick, it was like someone set me on fire. Like I was coming alive in a different way for the first time in a very long time.
And we’d made out like horny teens for the last few weeks. I’d always made it a point to please the woman I was with. But pleasing Emerson—it was different.
It did something to me.
I’d held back because I knew she’d only ever been with one dude, and he’d betrayed her in the worst way. I knew she was still healing, and I didn’t want to be the asshole that pushed her.
This had to happen on her terms, and it was fucking killing me.
But I hadn’t seen her today, and Cutler had gotten a last-minute invite to J.T.’s to sleep over, and I’d had dinner over there with them. But since I’d been home, I’d found myself staring at Emerson’s house on and off for the last hour.
I’d checked my phone numerous times, and I hadn’t heard from her.
I needed to shake this off.
We were friends who made out at the end of each day and liked each other, and that was it.
Nothing more.
At least, for her, it was nothing more.
But for me, it felt like everything.
Like it was hard to breathe when she wasn’t around.
What the fuck is happening to me?
I pushed to my feet.
She owed me nothing.
I walked toward my deck just as I heard movement next door, and Winnie came charging toward me.
“Nash?” Emerson’s voice carried from a few feet away. It was dark, and the stars and moon overhead were providing the only light illuminating her.
She wore a skirt and a blouse, and I’d known she’d gone to meet the girls right from work, so she must just be getting home now. Her feet were bare, and as I moved closer, I noticed her cheeks were a little flushed.
“Hey, you’re home.”
“Yeah. You weren’t waiting for me, were you?” Her voice was all tease.
I shoved my hands into my pockets to stop from pulling her closer as she moved right in front of me.
Don’t be so desperate, asshole.
“What? No. I was just sitting out by the water,” I said, the lie slipping from my lips easily to avoid embarrassment.
The embarrassment of admitting that I was crazy about her.
