Page 130 of Beating Heart
I would give it all.
But not everyone felt that way, and Tara had never had that maternal bond with him. Sometimes I felt guilty that a part of me was relieved I didn’t have to share him. I loved having my boy with me full-time.
I didn’t know what I’d do if it hadn’t worked out that way.
Tara picked up the pen and signed her name. “I never wanted to be a mama, you know?”
I nodded. “I do.”
“But it doesn’t mean that I don’t want the best for him.”
“Understood,” River said, reaching across the table and picking up the piece of paper. I didn’t miss the look of relief in his gaze when it met mine.
“So, we’re going to leave town later tonight.” Tara shrugged. “Can I say goodbye to him?”
There was Emerson, squeezing my hand beneath the table again, urging me to do the right thing. The kind thing.
“How about Emerson and I pick him up early from school and meet you two at the Golden Goose for a milkshake before you get on the road?” I said, looking over to see the corner of my girl’s lips turn up the slightest bit.
Tara turned to Mark. “I’d like to do that so I can say goodbye.”
“As long as we aren’t buying for everyone,” her husband grumped, and it took all I had in me not to rip his head off. I had no desire to go sit with these two assholes at the diner. But I was doing it for Cutler so he wouldn’t wonder why she didn’t say goodbye.
“I’m happy to spring for the shakes,” I said, and River barked out a laugh.
“Sorry. It’s just—” River shook his head. “Some people have a whole lot of nerve.”
The comment went straight over their heads as they were already discussing what kind of ice cream they’d get.
There was no love there between the four of us, but what mattered most was the love that I had for my son.
That’s the reason I pushed to do the right thing, even when I didn’t want to.
We agreed to meet at the diner in an hour, and Emerson and I made our way to the school to pick up our superstar student early.
He was thrilled when he saw us.
I didn’t tell him why we were going, just that we wanted to celebrate him.
We parked two blocks away from the diner, and Cutler walked between Emerson and me, one hand in each of ours as he filled us in on his day.
“All the kids said my parents sent the coolest snacks ever,” Cutler said, and my fucking chest felt like it would cave in from the way it tightened at his words.
Emerson beamed as she smiled at him. “We’ll have to come up with cool new snacks every year now, because we’ll just have to keep getting better and better.”
I pulled the door open and followed my family inside.
These two are my entire world.
And I was going to hold on tight and enjoy the ride.
I glanced around the diner and didn’t see Tara and Mark, but I just asked for the large booth in the back.
They never showed up that day, and my ex sent a text saying that they needed to get on the road so they wouldn’t hit traffic.
But none of that mattered, because my son actually never inquired about where she went.
Because he had everything he needed right here.
