Page 75 of Losing Control

An opportunity for freedom.

A lifeline to get away from Michael.

A choice.

If I run, then I’m going to be running forever.

If I stay, then Michael may very well end up killing me.

Two choices, both with shitty endings.

The two men continue to struggle with one another, and I am aware that I need to make my choice before any serious harm can be done.

Run.

Leave.

Get out.

Escape. It’s all within my grasp.

Indecision. It clouds my brain.

I don’t want to be a coward.

I don’t want to drag anyone else into this fucking mess of a relationship.

I need to do this myself. My way.

I have to regain my independence of my own accord.

I can’t keep expecting others to save me.

Protect yourself. That’s what I should have done in the beginning. And that is what I intend to do now.

Please don’t hate me.

Please understand.

“Lucy, come on, get out of here,” Cal urges as he chances a look at me. I try to portray how sorry I am without saying anything. Cal knows me, and I have to trust that he will be there for me when this is all over.

Take a chance.

A leap of faith.

I can run, but I can’t hide.

I never thought that I would be saying this.

I never dreamed that I would choose this path.

Michael remains quiet, waiting to see what I am about to do, and I am pretty sure that he will also be shocked by my response.

“Lucy, go,” Cal urges.

I was ready to stop fighting before, but seeing Cal here, fighting for me gives me the confidence to know that I can do this.

I’m ready to tackle Michael. I’m ready to take the bastard down.

I’m a fucking fighter, and I hold onto that as I realise my next move could possibly cause irreparable damage between Cal and me.

Forgive me, Cal.

Forgive what I am about to do.

I take a deep breath and open my mouth.

“No.”

THE END