Page 51 of Kiss Kiss Bang
“She’s a great kid, Livie.”
It wasn’t time to get into anything heavy but she did have a life to get back to and she needed to know when she could get back to it. “So, what’s the plan? When do you think it’ll be okay for us to go home? Any update with the cops? I can’t help but feel like I knew the guy’s voice. I’ve been replaying it over and over in my mind.”
“Is there anything that would help? An accent, or maybe he called you something unusual?”
“No. Nothing I can put my finger on. It could be my mind playing tricks on me. Anyway, so what next?”
“Honestly, I don’t know,” he said. “I don’t like saying that because normally I have a plan. A clear precise plan of action. But this time, I don’t know. I’ve been trying to break into the account he left you while the cops have put the photos from the cameras into some facial recognition software, but nothing’s popping up. Technically, your house is safe now. All the security is in place, you have cameras, patrols in the area, we replaced some of the downstairs windows with high impact ones. But the truth is, I don’t feel comfortable with you leaving when I don’t have a handle on things. I don’t have a motive, a name, or a good clear photo. Nothing.”
“But what if you can’t find him? We can’t stay here forever, Joey. I mean, I have a job, Sophie has school. What do we do?” It wasn’t accusatory, it was a real concern. “And you? We’ve completely inserted ourselves into your life. I’m sure this can’t be comfortable for you.”
He shook his head and took the wine from her hand and placed it on the coffee table.
“You’re not getting it, Livie.”
She let out a breath. “I am getting it, Joey. I’m not dumb. You find me attractive. I find you attractive. But what is it that you want, exactly? I can do sex, but I don’t know if can do a relationship.”
He let out a humorless laugh. “You had not kissed anyone in five years, darlin’. You cannot do just sex.”
“Of course I can. We . . . well, you did a lot of stuff to me already and I’m dealing. I’m not all weirded out and clingy.”
He sat back and took a big gulp of his beer and tipped his chin up a little. “Tell me again why it can’t happen. Why only sex?”
“Jo . . .”
“No, seriously. Don’t do your Jedi mind fuck on me and twist shit around. Tell me the honest truth.”
“Jedi mind fuck?”
“Yeah, your political mumbo jumbo that makes people somehow believe that what you said was for the best. But, it wasn’t.”
“It is for the best. I have a daughter. I can’t have her getting attached to you to just have you walk out of her life. And your job is dangerous. She’s already been through a lot. She doesn’t deserve that.”
“She or you, Livie? Because if my math is right, her father died when she was only days old. She didn’t even know him. And how about me, huh? How about when I get attached and you pull the rug from under me? I have a dog in this fight too, you know. Why are you just assuming I’m going to leave?”
“I don’t know. I’m nervous, I guess. What if you left and I got attached? I just . . .” It was a terrible response but she didn’t have any other one.
“And you got attached? Funny, I’m already attached. I’d already be devastated if you left.”
“Joey . . .” she breathed. God, he was so wonderful.
“What about you, Olivia? What do you want? All the excuses have been about Sophie and your career. How about you, Olivia, the woman? What do you need? What do you want? Why are you so scared?”
“I don’t know, Joey. I’m . . . well, I’m busy. I need a man who understands that I work and that I have responsibilities that may, at times, come before him.”
“So basically, you’re saying you don’t want some guy whose entire life revolves around you. You want a man who understands you have a career, an important one, and supports it instead of making you choose.”
Neil never really understood this about her. She loved him, with all her heart, but he wanted to come first. He didn’t understand why she had to go to meetings and speeches every day. He didn’t necessarily want Suzy Homemaker, but he did want her to be home at a reasonable hour every night and spend time together. It wasn’t as if that was an unreasonable request, but it just wasn’t the way her life had gone.
Her job was important and it wasn’t just important for her, it was important to her constituents. What she did mattered, and it mattered in a real way. Now she was single, and had been for a long time, and she wasn’t going to settle for a man who didn’t understand this. It was one of the many things causing her to hesitate.
“Yes. I work late and sometimes I’m drafting speeches, or editing them, at one in the morning, sometimes I get calls at three in the morning, sometimes I . . .”
He put his index finger over her mouth to shut her up. “Baby, I don’t know what kind of man you had before, but I’m not the kind that is scared off by a strong woman. All due respect, do not confuse me with whatever insecure man you’ve dated or married in the past. Your schedule doesn’t scare me.”
He reached for the back of her neck and pulled her head forward and kissed her. He ran his tongue along her lips then pushed it inside, tasting her, holding her tightly against him, and showing her all the ways he was a man who wanted to ravage her—Olivia, just a woman he found attractive, not a politician or a widow or a mom, but a woman he wanted. When she was heady with need and her hand gripped the front of his shirt, he pulled away.
“Go to bed, Livie,” he said, running the pad of his thumb along her swollen lips. He kissed her head and stood. “Sleep well.”
