Page 59 of Last First Kiss
“I’m a twenty-seven-year-old virgin. I’ve never told anyone that and for some weird reason, I told you. You can tell me whatever it is, I won’t judge you.”
He looked up and then ran his palm down his face. “I’ve . . . I’ve never been hugged. I mean until today. That was, it was my first time.”
Of all the things he could have said, that was the last thing she had expected. She could see the sad little boy inside of him. The one who had never had affection or love. Her family was loud, overbearing, and annoying but she felt loved every single day of her life. And this poor man, who seemed to have everything, was missing the basic fundamental things that made a person who they were. It was staggering how good he’d turned out. It really could have gone a completely different way for him.
Without thinking she wrapped her arms around him. He was standing straight, his hands by his side, so it was awkward but she didn’t care. She moved in even closer and laid her cheek on his chest. “Now you’ve had two hugs. You’re a pro.”
“Fuck, Annie.” He released his arms from his sides and wrapped them around her. “What the hell is happening here? You’re supposed to be the cold bitchy bodyguard who I want to fuck for four months.”
“You don’t want to fuck me anymore?” She looked up at him.
“Hell, no,” he said without hesitation, and she jolted and tried to step back but he pressed closer to her. “Now I want to make sweet, slow love to you. I’ve never done that, I don’t think. And then to make it worse, I don’t think I’m worth it. You’ve held on to your virginity for so long, it should be with someone special. But fuck, baby, I want it to be me. And honestly, I don’t want to put a time limit on what we could have. I just . . . I just want to be with you, even if we’re not having sex. You’re screwing with my head.”
It was late and dark out and they were still in the garage. She needed to think. It had been an intense day. Too intense. “I have to do a sweep and lock up.”
He looked at her, and understanding showed on his face. She wasn’t ready yet. So he kissed her forehead and went upstairs to his room.
She was twenty-seven. She hadn’t held on to her virginity on purpose. It had just sort of happened. And now it was this big thing that scared her to death. It was mostly the unknown. When she was in her teens and early twenties, the men were on her playing field. Yes, she was inexperienced, but to a certain extent, so were they. Now, she was older and so was Rocco, and he had had plenty of experience. She didn’t want to disappoint him. Hell, after waiting this long, she didn’t want to be disappointed. She’d put so much unnecessary significance onto sex that it had left her scared. But she wasn’t backing out, she was just nervous. Rocco was sweet, and gorgeous, and he meant well. He may have been waxing poetic just now, but truthfully, she couldn’t imagine an affair with him lasting longer than four months. But she felt at peace with that fact because four months was better than nothing. But she liked him. A lot. He made her feel things she hadn’t felt in so many years. Maybe never, actually.
After locking everything and making sure the house was safe and the alarm was on, she went to the en suite in her room, took a quick shower, and got ready for bed.
But she didn’t want to be alone. She’d been alone for so damn long. And so had he.
Gathering her courage, she took a big deep breath and walked across the hall and slowly opened the door. He lay on the bed, his torso bare, an arm slung over his eyes. “Can I come in?
“If you do, Annie, I can’t promise I’ll let you out.” His voice thick and raspy, his arm still over his eyes.
She padded closer to the bed until she was right next to him. “I’m okay with that.”
He moved his hand, reached for her shirt, fisted it, and pulled her on top of him. “We don’t have—”
“I want to,” she interrupted him, and then slammed her mouth on his. “I’ve wanted to for a while now. And I want it to be you.”
“Why me?”
“You’re a good man. You wouldn’t hurt me.”
“I can’t get you out of my head. Even when you’re right next to me, I’m thinking about you,” he admitted. “I wanted you to come to me.”
“Well, here I am.”
“You’ve waited this long and I don’t want you to think this isn’t a big deal for me.”
“Rocco . . .” she whispered softly, then leaned down and kissed him, hard, unsure what words she could possibly say to convey the way she felt.
* * *
She was such a conundrum.
By far the most complicated woman he’d ever met.
He knew she was giving him a gift. Not just her virginity but her trust, her vulnerability. It was a side that only he got to see, and fuck, wasn’t that just the best gift he’d ever received. Her hand trembled slightly as she pressed her hands on his bare chest to keep her balance.
“You are so goddamn beautiful, Annabelle.”
She moved down and crushed his lips with hers. For someone so inexperienced, the woman could certainly kiss.
His tongue slid into her mouth, tasting the minty toothpaste. He smelled his soap on her skin. Words weren’t needed anymore, maybe it was an unspoken agreement or maybe they were both too nervous that the other would change their mind. Because hell, he was nervous too. More nervous than he’d ever been with a woman. It may as well have been his first time. Pushing one foot down the bed, he flipped them over softly and kneeled. Her big expressive eyes stared up at him as if he’d hung the moon.
