Page 88 of Kiss Marry Kill
“And I think we conquered most of your list.”
“Seems like it,” he said, running his hand down the side of her body, up the curve of her hip and down her leg. “I want to touch you.”
She turned over on her stomach, slightly parting her thighs. “Then touch me.”
For the next hour, they made love without intercourse, touching and loving each other’s bodies. He memorized each and every contour, hoping to burn the memory of Megan deep into his brain. Afterward, they lay in bed together, eating ice cream out of the carton. “I’m sorry for getting all girly on you earlier today.”
He smiled and winked and continued to eat, mostly because he didn’t know what to say. He hadn’t said anything a few minutes ago either. He wasn’t a hearts-and-feelings kind of guy and the thought of never seeing Megan again made him feel too many things.
“I monopolized your last days in town.”
“Nothing I’d rather be doing than this, Meg.”
“Tomorrow’s going to suck.” She put the spoon into the carton and pulled up the covers.
It was absolutely going to suck.
He put the empty carton on the nightstand, turned off the light, and settled into bed, pulling her close to him. “Yeah. It is,” he admitted.
They didn’t speak for some time, lost in their thoughts. “What do you think would happen if you weren’t leaving?”
“Don’t do that, Meg. Not good to think of what-ifs. Let’s just enjoy tonight, okay?” She turned into his arms, her face pressed against his chest, and a surge of emotions hit him all at once.
“Are you scared?” she asked, looking up at him in the darkness. “Of war? Of leaving home?”
He shifted his body, turning onto his back, her head in the crook of his arm and her arm across his bare chest.
Life was sweet for him. His first deployment had been to Afghanistan and he’d seen his fair share of shit but nothing horrific. He didn’t know where’d he’d be going next, but was he scared? No, not really. Maybe it was naïve on his part, but no, he wasn’t scared. He’d have his unit with him. Those were his best friends, his brothers.
But the tightness in his chest was certainly new.
He was scared of never seeing this woman again. There was no way of making promises to her. He didn’t know where life was going to take him, and worrying about a girl half a world away wasn’t something he wanted—even though a woman like Megan did make him rethink things. Plus, her life was so uncertain too. They were two different worlds colliding into each other in a weird twist of fate.
“No. I’m not scared,” he began. “Is it weird that I just met you, but I think I’m going to miss you?”
She slid up and kissed his lips. “So much, Jax. I’m going to miss you so much.” Rolling over, taking her with him. “I feel like I missed you even before I met you,” she admitted.
“It’s going to be hard being over there thinking about you over here.”
“Do you think it’s better to just part ways completely?”
“Like what? Never talk again?”
“Meg, the way I feel for you . . . it’s intense. I can’t be the only one feeling that way. I also can’t be over there missing you, especially when I don’t even know what’s going on with you. I mean, will you get back together with Dick? We’re headed in different directions, Megan.”
“I broke up with Richard, whether he believes it or not,” she said into his chest. “But I don’t think I can do emails and phone calls for years and years with you while I’m trying to concentrate on school.”
“So this is it. It’ll suck, but it’s for the best.”
Cupping his face, she pulled him down to her lips. “Doesn’t feel like the best.”
“No. It absolutely does not feel like the best.”
That night they went to bed somberly, holding each other tight, neither actually sleeping.
* * *
“Fuck!” Megan yelled as she tried to style her hair.
