Page 121 of The Great Dating Fake Off
I kick the bottom of his shoe and drop down next to them. “It doesn’t matter how we feel. We aren’t going to have a long-distance relationship.”
Nora was clear about that.
Alessia’s gaze is pointed, if not laced with challenge. “Why not?”
I almost laugh at the thought. “Because that never, ever works. Especially not without an end date. You’ve said the same thing to me in the past, mind you. Don’t fall for townies.”
“I said that when you were still living in this town and hadn’t had a chance to follow your dreams yet. I didn’t want anything holding you back. But that was years ago. I wasn’t aware your dreams required a lifetime of travel at the expense of your personal life.” She lets that point hover in the air before she adds, “What if long distance goes well and she wants to follow you? In a permanent way?”
“She’s happy here. I’m not dragging her along with me.”
She cocks her head to the side. “C’mon, Rossi, don’t be such a martyr. What if she wants to go?”
“I’m no martyr. I asked her to come.” Shame settles over me like a sunburn. “She said no.”
And I never should’ve asked her to. It’s the one thing I promised myself I wouldn’t do, and it was exactly as terrible as I knew it’d be.
But like most things when it comes to Nora, I couldn’t fucking help myself. For her, I break every rule and do things I never thought I’d do.
“Okay, so she doesn’t want to uproot her life. That’s okay. Reasonable, even. But it doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to be with you. So, what are your other options for making this relationship work?” Alessia asks.
“It can’t work. That’s why we broke up,” I mutter miserably.
If we were ever even officially together.
“I think you’re creating a situation where it feels like this relationship is impossible, when really it’s not,” Alessia continues. “You’re scared to go all in because it’ll be difficult, and it requires sacrifice.”
I run my hand down my face. “Please don’t psychoanalyze me.”
“I’m just giving an opinion. Only a licensed professional is equipped to analyze you and your baggage.”
“What a treasure you are. A shame I won’t be around for more of these chats.”
“Our chats will continue whether you like it or not. There’s always FaceTime.” There’s a note of finality in her tone that I know better than to argue with.
My chest hurts as I meet her eye. She hasn’t wanted to talk about me leaving any more than I’ve wanted to talk about it, as it pertains to us, too. “I’m sorry. That was a shitty comment. You know I love you and our chats.”
Her expression softens. “I know. Don’t apologize. We’re all sad sacks sometimes. Today is your day.”
I scowl at my paddle. Spin it in my hand. “It’s more than just a bad day. This is all turning into a nightmare. It’s unreal how much I think about Nora. And I can’t stop imagining what it’ll be like when she’s here after I’m gone. It tears me up inside to know she’ll move on, maybe with someone I know.”
The thought is like a rope tightening around my ribs. It takes a lot to keep myself from throwing my paddle at the fence. “That someone else could give her what I can’t—I can’t fucking stand it.”
Alessia’s eyes are wide. “Wow. Okay.”
“What?” I grouse.
“Just never thought I’d see you lovesick like this.”
“We’re not in love.”
Her face pops up in my brain as the sound of her laughter rings in my ears, almost as if to test me. All it does is make me miss her.
Enzo hits me with a schoolboy grin. “I’ve never seen your feathers ruffled before. You’re always so calm and collected. This is fun.”
“I’m glad you’re enjoying this.” I lean back on my hands. “I’m afraid I’m making a mistake by going. But the only way not to make it is by making what might be another, different kind of mistake by staying.”
Alessia’s eyes are soft. “You are moving to middle of nowhere Nebraska when you have an entire life and the woman you love—sorry, very strongly like—here. That sounds like it could be a mistake.”
