Page 119 of The Great Dating Fake Off
“Long distance,” he counters, like we’re bargaining.
“Never works. And I’m afraid it’d ruin us.”
He falls silent, his rich eyes full of anguish.
The weight of this conversation and everything we stand to lose bears down on me until I can hardly breathe. Maybe I wasn’t ready for this conversation today. But it won’t be any better tomorrow, or the day after.
“So, what if I don’t choose?” He steps closer. “What if I do the selfish thing and ask the question I know you could never say yes to?”
The world goes still as his words hang in the air. “Which question?”
“If there is even a fraction of a chance you’d be willing to consider it, I have to try.” He takes a step closer. “Will you move with me? Now, in a month, in four months—it doesn’t matter when, as long as I know you’re coming.”
I’ve waited a lifetime to see my own longing reflected in someone else’s eyes. To be needed as strongly as I need. To feel like I’m on the same page with a person so it’d be safe to fall.
And I finally have it. He and I are on the same page with how we feel about each other.
But we won’t be finishing the book. And on top of everything else, I’m the one who’s forced to say it. I’m choking on the intensity of how much I want him—to say yes—but my roots are here. Finally here.
“Sebastian…” It’s more of a whimper than a word because I’m not strong enough to say no outright. “I can’t. I have a job, friends, volunteer work, and a whole life—”
“I know. You’re right.” He drops my gaze.
The tether holding us together snaps.
I crumble inside, ready to turn away and put us out of our misery.
But he tugs me to his chest and surrounds me in his warm embrace.
I take a masochistic moment to soak in his warmth, the smell of him, pressing my nose to his warm neck as his fingers thread my hair and grip. As soon as he lets go, he’ll go from being the man holding me together to the reason I’m falling apart.
“I thought it would be you,” he murmurs as he holds me tight. With our chests pressed together, our hearts beat in tandem as if syncing up. And then mine beats even harder, as if trying to claw its way out of my chest to nestle beside his. “I could picture it. Our life, our house, our friends. You with our child.”
If he’s trying to break me, he’s a breath away from succeeding. “I saw it, too.”
But I saw it here.
How could we possibly have the rest of the things on his list if we never stop moving?
It doesn’t matter, because we aren’t going to find out.
At the first hint of a slackening in his hold, I lunge for the doorknob.
The faster he’s gone, the faster I can get better at living without him.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Sebastian
Alessia tosses the wiffle in the air at the end of the match. “Jeez. it’s not even fun kicking your asses like this.”
Enzo points his paddle at his sister as sweat beads down his face. “You’re cheating.”
“How does one cheat at pickleball? Plus, you two have the advantage, playing me as a team.” Alessia looks between us with pity in her gaze. “You’re flopping around like two inflatable tube men over there, no fight from either of you.”
I hinge forward to catch my breath. “Fine. Next time we play, I’ll put laxatives in your Gatorade. Is that enough of a fight?”
Her shoulders rise and fall. “That would be better than you moping.”
