Page 24 of Under His Command
His nostrils flare, and his jaw clenches, but he doesn’t take a step toward me. It’s almost as if he wants me to move toward him first. But I can’t—not until we settle whatever conversation Odette and I had.
“Okay, first of all,” I say, making an effort to look into his eyes. “I’m not your property. You don’t get to call me that when you’ve been fucking other women behind my back. Jared is an old friend—and he might’ve tried to get me to go out with him tonight. But I wasn’t interested. Even though maybe I should have gone. Because if what Odette Chevrier said is true, then—”
“Dove. I am not fucking anyone else but you,” he deadpans. “I don’t want anyone else but you.”
“Well…” I trail off, my argument now holding no weight. “Well then why did she say otherwise?”
“We fucked twice. It was years ago. And in the same night. She was just a means to an end.”
“A means to an end?”
“Yes. Her father is a congressman. We needed funds for a certain mission, and we knew he was going to vote against it. Odette said she could sway him, so… we each got what we wanted that night. Period.”
Jesus Christ. All the years of therapy after my father left and I still can’t think through this straight. All I know is that if Rowan ever tells me there’s someone else—I’m done. No matter how much I want him, I can’t let myself fall into the same trap my mother did. Tears swarm at the backs of my eyes, but I don’t let them fall. I swallow them back instead.
“Okay,” I look down at my feet. “But clearly, she doesn’t think that was the end of it. She still wants you.”
“And she can continue to want me, for all I care. You are mine as much as I am yours, angel. Things are really fucking clear to me. And if you can’t see that yet, I’m going to make sure you do.”
I guess… I guess I can’t argue with that.
I let loose a soft but shaky breath and watch as he finally closes the distance between us. He lifts my chin up with his index finger and I’m forced to look back into his eyes.
“So you lied to me then,” he smiles. “Nothing’s come up, has it, angel? You just heard what you wanted to hear… and you ran from me like a scared pup. Is that it?”
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “That was stupid of me. But what would you do if some sexy-looking dude came to you and told you he’s been fucking me behind your back?”
“Easy. I’d cut off his cock. Make him eat it. And tie him up to a pole so he can watch while I make you come on my tongue.”
I stifle a laugh but it falters when I see he’s not joking.
“Dove. You were right to run away for one reason only—I am not a good man. I’ve done things that if you knew about you’d never want to see me again. Which is why I’m always going to give you a choice. You can leave me anytime you want. You’re not bound to me, not as bound as I am to you. All I ask is that before you decide to rip my heart open, you warn me about it first. You tell me what’s on your mind… and we talk about it. And then… then you can leave me behind if that’s what’s best for you. I will never—”
“Stop. Rowan, stop. I want you so much I don’t know what to do with this feeling. I’m not going to leave. You don’t scare me. I just wish…”
“Yes?”
“I just wish I got to know you a little bit more. I want all of you, not just scraps.”
He smiles, his hand coiling around my neck possessively, but without squeezing it.
“Good. I also want to know you. Which is why I’m taking you out tonight.”
NINE
Iwalk back out into the living room wearing my silky cerulean dress that I bought for Sterling’s wedding this summer. I argued that I’d look out of place in it while eating at a restaurant, but Rowan insisted the place he is taking me to understands no such thing as being overdressed. So I indulged him.
I coat my lips with a layer of gloss. Approaching him, his eyes roam across my body as he listens to someone talking to him over the phone. I don’t know what he’s thinking—his expression doesn’t offer much.
He crooks a finger in my direction, demanding me to come closer. And when I do, his hand slips through the slit of the fabric that’s covering my legs, trailing up until it reaches my panties. He hooks his finger behind the thin material and pulls it down until it slides off easily from the rest of my thighs and I’m naked underneath my dress.
“Rowan—” I whisper, though I’m not really sure what I’m asking. I missed him all day.
“Just one moment, please, Mr. President,” he says into the phone, and my eyes widen in shock.
It can’t be. Rowan’s messing with me—he can’t possibly be talking to the President of the United States of America right now. Not when his fingers are so close to my pussy and his eyes are devouring me from afar.
But the more I stare at him with my breath held tight in my lungs, the more I realize there’s no trace of pretense in his demeanor. Of course there isn’t. Rowan isn’t the kind of man who hides who he is and what he does—even if the things he does might seem crazy to the rest of us.
