Page 21 of Under His Command
“Dove. And I’m sorry, but I really don’t remember ever seeing you around…”
As if it hasn’t been just one day since Rowan took me to his bed.
“Well, Dove, jealousy looks cute on you. Let me guess: you’re his new obsession, aren’t you?”
I keep silent, an involuntary scowl directed at her.
“Just Rowan being Rowan.” She tilts her head, puffing out more smoke as she fixes her gold bracelet.
“Meaning?”
She shrugs. “He’s a man like no other, as I’m sure you’ve already experienced yourself. He develops these obsessions from time to time… with certain foods or drinks, sports cars… music… and now, apparently, with random girls too.” She rolls her eyes. “You’re pretty—don’t get me wrong. But enough to tame Rowan?” She ponders her own question, trying to figure out the answer by herself.
I cross my legs and arms, shame burning my cheeks as I listen to the words coming out of her mouth. Am I his new obsession? And if I am, how long until he gets bored of me and tosses me away?
The need to know more about Rowan crashes down on my chest again—to know him, the real him, not whatever the press deems newsworthy. Still, I refuse to cower before this woman, even if she is right. Because right now, Rowan’s mine and I am his, and I’ll be damned if I let him go without a fight.
“I’ve known Rowan for years. He knows my family, too. I don’t know who you are and why you think you can just waltz in here and threaten me, but I assure you, he and I go way back. And he hasn’t mentioned you even once. Saint!” I call out, and he storms into the garden as if he’s been waiting around the corner this whole time. “Please see Miss Chevrier back to her car. I believe we’ve bonded enough.”
Odette smacks her lips and pulls her bag into her lap.
“I’m not threatening you, Dove. But I will give you some friendly advice—if you want to drag this out for longer—don’t give him everything he wants all at once.”
Rage burns through me and I struggle to keep my composure. Because her words hit home. And I hate that. I hate that I don’t value myself enough to think there’s no way Rowan would tire of me if I gave him everything he wanted.
“Have a good day,” I tell her, and Saint approaches her as she gets up.
“Likewise, birdie.” She halts. “Tell Rowan to give me a call. He has yet to make good on the promise he made me last time.”
Saint leads her back into the house and out the front door, while I’m left alone with my thoughts and my self-doubt. The alarm on my phone rings, and I know another half an hour is up. I’m supposed to be in Rowan’s bed right now, finger-fucking myself while I think of him.
But I can’t. I won’t. Because what if what she said is right? What if the only way to Rowan’s heart is to keep him waiting for me… to keep him anticipating my touch?
Flustered and disoriented, I get up from my chair and catch Saint just as he’s entering the house.
“Saint, I’m sorry, but something’s come up at home. Do you think you can give me a ride?”
“Christ. Why is everything working against me today? You don’t understand how he’ll react when he finds out you’re gone—and that I helped you leave.”
“Please, Saint. I will leave him a message myself. And I’ll tell him I gave you no choice. Please?”
He sighs. “I’ll get the car.”
EIGHT
Iflick through the files on my computer aimlessly, my stomach sending flashes of anxiety-induced pain that I can’t seem to get rid of. Not even with the chamomile tea I’m sipping on, which usually helps. I try to focus on work, but my mind keeps going elsewhere. To Rowan.
It’s pretty late, and he hasn’t called yet.
I don’t even know why I’m expecting him to do it. I left on my own volition, and maybe the message I left was convincing enough. Though I can’t help but secretly wish he’d reach out. Because if he does that, then maybe… maybe what Odette said isn’t true. Maybe he isn’t fucking another woman at the same time while leading me to believe I’m the only one.
Fuck.
I should’ve stayed—should’ve asked him about it instead of fleeing like a scaredy-cat. But then again, if I had stayed, I would’ve made it too easy for him to just deny everything so he could fuck me again. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what the hell I’m supposed to do.
I wish I could call Sterling and talk to her about it. But she’s on her honeymoon… and Rowan is Commander of the Army, for God’s sake! Am I even supposed to reveal this relationship or whatever the hell it is?
I. Don’t. Know.
