Page 90 of I'll Look for You, Everywhere
‘As long as Dante’s not here, I can’t make that promise.’ I shrug.
Anika gasps loudly. ‘Excuse me! Aren’t you afraid of my wrath? I could punch you too, you know!’
‘My god, Anika, I’m literally begging you to try to punch me.’
‘Oh, what? Because you’re obnoxiously tall and your biceps are the size of my calves, you think I can’t do it?’
‘It has nothing to do with my calf-sized biceps. I just know you – you’re happy!’
I leap forward and take the last bite of her ice cream cone before she can stop me and she shrieks helplessly.
‘No, you did not just do that.’ She stares at her empty hand, stunned.
‘It unfortunately looks like I did.’
‘You better walk away right now or, I swear to god, I will punch you so hard your liver will come out of your mouth.’
I chew the cone loudly, smacking my lips. ‘Mhm, only if Magdalen can come with me.’
‘Ugh, get out of my face, you complete and utter swine.’
I chew louder, gulping the last bit of the sugary wafer down, hands mockingly on my hips as I stand. ‘Magdalen,’ I ask, turning to her, ‘would you accompany me for a drink? I’m feeling particularly parched.’
‘Why, I’d love to. That is if Anika doesn’t want to join?’
Anika covers her mouth with her hands as her eyes bounce from Magdalen to me in horror.
‘Oh god, what have I created...?’
‘So is that a no?’ Magdalen gets up from her chair, gracefully ignoring Anika’s distress.
‘Is it too late to be Lucia’s best friend instead?’
‘You little bitch!’ Magdalen gasps and goes to swat Anika, who moves away before she reaches her. ‘I was going to let you finish my gelato!’ She pouts, waving the cone.
‘The one you gave a blow job?’
‘Anika!’
‘Fine! Gimme!’
The two argue happily in circles, so I walk away and let them settle, how sisters do. But it’s funny, I’m just as content watching Magdalen happy across the street with Anika as I am when it’s me making her smile. It reminds me of what Dr Savoy was on about that morning at the museum – how it doesn’t feel like you’re sacrificing anything when you make the woman you love smile. I completely fucking get it.
The ogling men at the next table nod at me as I pass them.
‘Fuck off,’ I say, and one of them jerks his head up but doesn’t do anything. How unsurprising.
I continue down the alleyways of Alassio, the faint yellow glow of a few streetlights illuminating the pathway. When I look up, I see an old couple sitting on their balcony, sipping out of teacups. One of them notices me and waves with a polite smile. The iron railing is lined with fresh tulips and there are too many terracotta pots scattered around the small opening for it to be safe. Life’s small pleasures – flowers and fresh basil. The loud noise of tourists has tapered to quiet conversations between locals and even in the dark night I can see the old man’s hand wrapped around his wife’s, holding her palm in his lap. Her cardigan is wrapped tightly around her shoulders as she leans into his warmth and in the shadowy night, they almost look like they’re connected to one another.
I sit down on the concrete steps in front of the old couple’s flat and wait for Magdalen. When I’m left alone, my mind immediately flashes to the night in her room under the same moonlight as now, watching her body respond to me. My knee bounces anxiously and I fumble for a cigarette. I’m not used to this. These periods of raging desire for someone. It feels insane to be in a constant state of need for one person.
‘Penny for your thoughts?’
A pair of sandals with shells glued along the thick strap stand in front of me. Jesus, I know her even by her toes.
‘Trying to remember how to be a gentleman.’ I exhale and look up at her.
‘Fun and flirty, remember?’ Magdalen bends down so she’s squatting in between my legs, holding onto my knees for support. I stop fidgeting.
