Page 87 of I'll Look for You, Everywhere
But Theo catches my eye. ‘Just like that, yes.’ His gaze searches mine as he curls his finger to rub against the walls of my insides and now I’m wincing for a different reason. My body clenches around him to find relief, testing the pleasure. Theo hisses slightly and pulls his finger out to circle my rim again before diving back in, pulsing his finger slowly in me. God, this can’t be legal. This is what I’ve been missing? How is he destroying me with one single finger?
Just when I’m feel myself tightening around him, Theo removes his finger, leaving me to feel empty. ‘You’re gonna come with me inside you,’ he says gruffly, pulling my underwear down and tossing it across the room. ‘Is that okay, Maggie?’
‘I think so, yes,’ I say shakily. ‘I’m on birth control, by the way.’
‘Is that so?’ Theo grips the back of my knees and pulls me further down on the bed. ‘So I get to feel you bare?’
I try to close my legs, desperate to control this building ache inside me from the way he’s looking at me and hearing those filthy words. Theo must notice and keeps my legs open, blatantly staring at me, eyes hooded as he kneels off the bed, undoing his belt in one motion, and his shorts fall to the floor.
‘I’m trying to savour you,’ he says, palming himself over his now tight boxers, his hardness visible underneath the black fabric.
‘You get this entire weekend, remember?’
‘Summer,’ he says darkly. ‘I get the summer.’
I hope, I think, but don’t say anything. Coming back onto the bed, I lean up and take the opportunity to slip my fingers beneath his boxers, tugging them off.
‘There you go, undressing me again,’ he chuckles, but when my hands touch his length the laugh turns into a heady sigh. My eyes widen when I really take him in, having only felt him in the ocean, I didn’t realize... Wow. I lick my lips, trying to picture all of him inside me. How on earth will he fit?
Noticing my apprehension, Theo lifts my face, plants a chaste kiss on my lips and smiles. ‘I’m gonna take care of you.’ Slowly, he lowers us back onto the bed and positions himself so the tip of him brushes against my entrance. ‘Now, you tell me if it’s too much.’ Slowly, with a shaky breath, Theo pushes himself inside me, taking his time, pausing every so often until he’s completely there. I squeeze my eyes shut, my hands reflexively gripping his biceps as I wait for the slight pinching sensation to lessen. He stays still, letting me adjust, whispering gently. ‘You’re doing so good, Magdalen.’ Tentatively, I try to move a little, pushing my hips up to get more of him.
‘One second,’ I whisper with a shaky breath.
‘Take your time,’ Theo says tightly as I continue to move, exploring the boundaries of my own body, grinding a little faster as the pinching subsides. While it’s certainly foreign, there’s barely any pain after a few minutes. Must be Theo’s magic touch. Eyes still shut, I gyrate my hips and immediately a spark of pleasure floods me. ‘Oh.’
When I finally open my eyes, Theo’s looking at me, biting down on his bottom lip, cheeks stained red.
‘Do I feel good now?’ he asks, hands travelling to my hips, flexing himself inside me so that I involuntarily shudder. ‘Let me make you feel good.’
I nod. And that’s all Theo needs to start moving, steadily increasing his pace...
‘That’s right.’ He’s still looking at me, his eyes dark and cloudy, and I can feel his desire in the tight grip he has on my waist and the quickening pace of him inside me. I can’t help as I arch closer, my hips circling as I meet his pace, continuing the motion until our rhythm increases. His breathing is erratic, every so often a small groan escaping him as he watches me sink onto him.
‘Ride me, Magdalen. Just like that, yes.’
I can’t hold it in. I moan out loud and my hips undulate, finding the rhythm of Theo. His thumb presses against my centre, circling and tapping slowly as he continues to pump in and out of me.
‘I can’t—’ I begin, but I don’t even know what I’m trying to say. Gripping the back of his hair for some sort of stability, I grind myself on him and he lets out a harsh exhale.
‘Maggie, you’re so fucking tight.’
I press my head further into the pillow. Feeling how he flexes himself inside me is enough to make me understand why Mary had to stay a virgin. How could she have done anything else?
‘I’m not going to last long,’ he whispers, his eyes on my lips, my neck. The hand on my waist moves to my head, fingers digging into my hair, pulling deliciously.
‘Theo.’ Was that my voice? I didn’t even know I could whimper.
‘Come for me,’ he demands. ‘I need to feel you come around me, Magdalen.’
I bite down on my bottom lip hard to contain the loud moan trying to escape as something inside me quickens. Hot pulses of pleasure tighten everything inside me until I feel like I’m going to shatter.
‘Ah, that’s it,’ Theo growls, his pace getting faster, it’s so intense that I cry out loudly and rest my forehead on his shoulder to keep from collapsing. ‘You have to look at me, baby.’ A hand snakes up the valley between my breasts before he reaches for my neck to tilt my head up. And I know the moment he looks at me, eyes hazy with desire, that I don’t stand a chance. With a few more deep thrusts, his thumb rubs me again and I can’t contain it any more. I quiver uncontrollably and my vision goes black as I pulse harshly, a flood of pleasure running through me for what feels like an eternity as my insides clench rhythmically around his length.
Theo continues to massage my walls, his pace slowing down, and he groans in my ear, ‘Yes, Magdalen. Fuck,’ and then I feel him shudder above me, his movements becoming sloppy as he jerks one final time and stills, spilling into me. ‘Fuck,’ he repeats, and I giggle, feeling warm and happy with him on top of me. After a few moments, I try to regain any semblance of normalcy. It feels appropriate that men would wage wars over love and sex. I get it now, I really do. What’s a lifetime of trauma for ten minutes of absolute bliss? Theo laughs gently and I realize I’ve not said anything, too busy coming down from the euphoria.
‘What?’ I say, my smile mirroring his. Theo takes himself out of me and I wince slightly, immediately miss being filled with him. He shakes his head slightly and then touches his fingers to my entrance, making me quiver, bringing his fingers to his mouth.
‘Theo—’ I try to stop him but it’s too late. He dips his fingers into his mouth and sucks, staring at me the entire time.
