Page 74 of I'll Look for You, Everywhere
‘I don’t,’ I say shakily. He swallows hard and just stares at me with a smirk.
‘Good. Because I’m happy swimming to you.’ He slowly swims closer and I feel his fingers curl around my elbow, pulling me gently towards him. His other hand finds my waist and then dips to grab the back of my thigh. ‘Open,’ he says gruffly, and I realize he means my legs. I will my heart to stop beating as fast, and comply, latching my thighs around his waist. Without hesitation, his hands travel to my ass, pushing me fully against him.
‘The fish will talk,’ I mumble, raking my fingers through his hair, pulling slightly at the nape of his neck.
His eyes flutter shut for a second, his voice catches. ‘They’re probably just jealous.’
I settle my hands on his shoulders and then, hesitantly, I explore further down, keeping one hand near his collarbone while the other runs down the length of his torso. Theo inhales sharply and shifts under me, grinding his hardness against my leg.
‘Is this okay?’ I whisper. The waves lap gently over our bodies, rocking us slowly.
‘Yes, yes.’ Dipping his head towards me, he brushes his lips against mine. ‘Is this okay?’ He repeats my question now, and I tilt my chin up to give him access to my lips, memories of our last kiss warming me.
‘Yes,’ I breathe, too happy in his proximity to be embarrassed. ‘Yes.’
Theo lets out a small groan and captures my lips between his, dominantly. I feel his hand come up to hold my head, his thumb grazing against my cheek as his tongue dips into my mouth. It’s as if we both sink into one another, his breath becoming mine, my hands becoming his. I lick his top lip curiously – his breath hitches, and he dives deeper to bite down on my bottom lip.
‘Ah,’ I exhale, and he rests his forehead against mine, our breaths rapid. His pupils are so dilated, the irises are practically black, and I’m unable to look away.
And then I try something.
I move the hand resting on his lower back to his taut stomach, hesitantly outlining the edge of his boxers.
Theo stills but doesn’t say anything, so I continue touching him, dipping my hand underneath his waistband.
‘Is this oka—’ I start, but he tilts his head back and rasps, ‘Yes, fuck. Yes, it’s okay.’
I smile to myself, his loss of control making me bolder. Less afraid of doing this wrong. Carefully, I wrap my hands around him and begin with a gentle stroke, feeling his full length. Wow. He tilts his head back to me, looking in my eyes as I stroke him again, this time a little firmer.
‘I want you to feel good,’ Theo hisses between his teeth. ‘You shouldn’t have to do this for me.’
‘I want to,’ I supply. ‘I want to see if I can seduce you even more.’
‘As if you don’t already know what you do to me,’ he groans as I continue stroking him, staring at me with hooded eyes. I know nothing about you, I want to say. I want to know everything. He doesn’t look away the entire time, but instead he seems desperate to meet my gaze. His eyes dart from my lips to my breasts and back up to my eyes, head tilted as if memorizing me. I’m mesmerized by him undone, unable to keep from staring into his grey eyes. The piece of wet hair that dangles in front of his face, the drops of sea water falling down his temple. He begins to rock his hips at the pace of my hands and I find it difficult to breathe. He’s fucking fluent in sex. Unashamed, relentless, even in the middle of the sea. He’s all breath and wonder, whispering heady praise. Just like that, yes. I didn’t know it could... he doesn’t finish that one. Please, Magdalen, you’re going to embarrass me. I realize I haven’t breathed in a long enough time that a burning pain flutters in my lungs. To feel so wanted by another, by Theo, is terrifying. I gently brush my thumb over the tip and he jerks forward, gripping my thighs to support himself, his wet hair buried in the crook of my neck as he exhales harshly.
‘Magdalen. You can’t do that.’
I freeze. Embarrassed. Of course I would find a way to fuck up a hand job.
‘Oh, okay. Sorry.’ My hand loosens, instantly cringing.
He chuckles slightly and grabs my hand under the water to put it back on him. Feeling him under my palm and his calloused hand guiding me to how he likes to be touched is too much; I feel like I’m drowning above the water. ‘Oh, baby, that’s not what I meant.’ Baby. He says it like I’ve been his for years. I never thought I’d be anyone’s and here I am, owned by Theo in a matter of minutes. He squeezes my hand hard and when I do it again, brush my thumb over that same spot, he groans deeply. ‘Like that. Fuck,’ he pants.
‘So, when you say “don’t do that”, you really mean...?’
‘You weren’t supposed to see me this undone so quickly.’
‘I like you undone.’ And I really do. ‘It’s sexy.’ Did I say that out loud? I feel his body tensing beneath me, his movements becoming more ragged, less careful with me; one of his hands wraps around the back of my neck, holding me while he thrusts into my hand.
‘I’m going to,’ he says in a harsh exhale. ‘Ah, yes, I’m going to—’ My stomach flutters, heat spreading across my body as if his pleasure were my own. Moaning every crude saying under the setting sun, with a few final thrusts, Theo bites down on my shoulder while his whole body shudders for what feels like ages. He melts into me, stomach pressed against mine, biting turning into licking, into kissing. He sighs, so I sigh back. ‘Well, fuck.’ He laughs. ‘I’m feeling shy.’ The apples of his cheeks are tinged pink, and he splashes his face with water.
‘That’s my job,’ I grin, releasing my legs from him and floating on my back, arms spread out like a sedated starfish. I feel him stare at me as I bob in and out of the water, and I have to hold back my smile.
‘You’re not shy; you’re selective.’
‘You think?’ I’m honestly curious about how he sees me.
‘Sometimes, it feels like I know everything you’re thinking with one look. And other times I can’t understand you at all.’
