Page 96 of I'll Look for You, Everywhere
‘Wow,’ she groans, bucking slightly as I set the pace and feel her tighten even more around me.
‘So... fucking... good... Maggie.’ My head tilts back as I push further inside her, basking in how perfectly we fit.
‘You’re everywhere.’ Her legs spread wider, and I wrap my hands where her ass meets her hips, grinding myself harder into her.
‘You can take it, baby.’ Unable to stop myself, I bend forward to find her clit, rubbing her bare sex in slow circles as I continue thrusting inside her.
‘Oh god.’ Her hands fist the bedsheets and her back arches reflexively, rotating her hips to find her own pleasure. ‘Yes, Theo,’ she croaks. Her thighs begin to tremble against me and I know she’s almost there.
‘You gonna come soon?’ My pace quickens, movements becoming more ragged, and I know I’m close again. Shit, she is too fucking good. But I refuse to come first, wanting to feel her finish around me.
‘Ah, yes,’ Maggie gasps as I bend lower to get better access to her, wanting to hit that spot that will make her scream out my name. She writhes beneath me, ass gyrating hypnotically, taking my full length easily now.
‘I need you to come now, okay?’ I bite back a moan, rubbing her faster.
‘Oh, fuck.’ Her head drops to the mattress, and I have to suppress the urge to laugh, so happy I’m making her curse. I feel like fucking singing, I want to say. Every time I see you, I feel like singing.
After a few more deep thrusts into her, I feel her begin to tighten, her body pulling me deeper than I fucking knew possible. ‘Let go,’ I hiss between my teeth, feeling the familiar pressure begin to build. My words seem to unravel her, her movements becoming needier.
‘You feel so good,’ Magdalen cries out, and then I feel it, she pulses sinfully around my cock, her tightness so intense that I only manage one more thrust before I’m already spilling inside her.
‘Fuck,’ I growl, pulling her down so she’s sitting between my legs, my cock still buried in her as she writhes against me, helping me find my release. When she rotates her hips so fucking slowly on top of me, I don’t stand a chance, I come loudly, sliding my hands across her stomach, up her breasts, squeezing her gently as I continue to ride this high. ‘How are you this good?’
She leans the back of her head onto my shoulder, a slow smile across her lips, and I wrap my arms around her, holding her tightly against me. Turning her head to me, she kisses me lightly on the cheek, eyelashes fluttering closed.
‘I have a very hands-on teacher,’ she says, stifling a yawn.
‘Am I boring you, sleepy girl?’ I chuckle, nuzzling into her hair. ‘I’m literally still inside you. I might be insulted.’
Magdalen hums peacefully. ‘I’m interested in everything you say. I think you just fucked the life out of me.’ She turns again to look at me and we both burst out in laughter, tumbling onto the bed, our bodies braided together, smiling until our faces are too tired to do anything but rest against one another and fall asleep.
And the night continues like this.
50
MAGDALEN
I don’t dream tonight. Too loose-limbed and happy. Around 4 a.m., I hear a loud crash and my eyes fly open. Disoriented for a moment, I look around the dark room to see I’m still in Theo’s bed, but when I turn my body he’s not next to me. Letting my eyes adjust to the darkness, I notice the imprint of his body isn’t even on the mattress any more, making me think he left some time ago. For some reason, the happiness from the night tries to drain away, but I sit up quickly, desperate to keep it in, rationalizing my absurdity. We fell asleep laughing, I remind myself. We fell asleep laughing.
But, when minutes pass and he doesn’t come back, I scramble to get out of bed and go back to my room, the feeling that I’m an intruder in his space growing stronger the longer I sit here. I put on my underwear, buckle my overalls and walk to the bedroom door, when I hear Lucia. I pause, checking the clock again to be certain it’s 4 a.m. It is. And Lucia speaks again. Who is she talking to? I can’t hear anyone else’s voice, but I think of the bed again, cold and devoid of Theo, my stomach sinking.
‘You’re being ridiculous,’ I whisper to myself. Needing to hear the words out loud. He went to the bathroom, maybe ran into Lucia, who also needed the bathroom. Perhaps they’re exchanging sleepy pleasantries at this very moment.
‘You can go first,’ Lucia is saying.
‘Thanks,’ Theo replies.
I don’t think about the fact that Lucia’s room is downstairs with her own ensuite. And that there’s also the hall bathroom across from the kitchen. These things happen. Maybe the plumbing is broken downstairs, or all the toilet paper has been stolen by the neighbours. I stay behind the door for another few minutes and then I hear it. Theo clears his throat. The door is too thick for me to make out any words but, when I wait another few seconds and hear Lucia sigh, I know with a sad certainty that there were never any sleepy pleasantries. I focus on getting out of the room. On the feeling of my hand on the doorknob, twisting it until the stiff lock leaves the keyhole. When I open the door, I peer into the hallway and frown. No one’s here. I step out fully, digging my feet into the carpeted floor, and pause again, waiting to see if they’re still somewhere I missed. A few minutes go by, and no one makes a sound, so I decide it’s safe to go back to my blue bedroom. Now I understand why I was given this room. It was a precaution. Theo’s way of patting my shoulder and giving me a space for when it all inevitably fell apart. He knew. Of course, a genius always plans ahead.
I sprint quietly down the hall and open the door when something in the corner of my eye moves. My heart leaps and I take one step in. I could just not look. I could go into my room, close the door behind me and pretend I needed to start packing. But the feeling of something wrong nags at me. I turn my head slightly and the object on the ground looks like an elbow. I take a cautious step back from my door, making sure I’m hidden by the table in the centre of the hallway, and peer over it. And that’s when I see them. Theo and Lucia, sitting on the top step of the stairs. One of his elbows is leaning on the floor, and the other hand is on her knee. He gives Lucia a gentle squeeze and keeps his hand resting on her. It looks tender and intimate. The corners of my mouth begin to drag down, and I know I’m on the verge of tears. There’s no time to process what they could be speaking about. To rationalize. I just feel cold and naive. To think I could have held his attention! Before I leave them, I notice on the step where their feet are resting, an empty wine bottle has broken. Ah, I understand. They were drinking wine. He woke up to drink wine with Lucia and it dropped and smashed on the stairs.
I lock the door, feeling cold. The open luggage sits in the corner of my room, the lingerie scattered on top. How cruel. Do I crave being hurt? I must have known this would happen.
My teeth start chattering and I will myself to get it together, but the coldness seems to have washed over my brain, my hands. The bed seems so far away and that smell comes back again. Oil sizzling on skin. I try to cover my nose, my mouth, but my hands are too cold to move so I sink to the floor. I press my head into the ground and try to breathe but the smell follows me. It’s trapped inside the carpet, penetrating me, and because I can’t move, I start gagging. Freak! Amid this, another image comes to mind. Maio silently taking the empty beer bottles from Lucia. Another wave of nausea hits me, and I think about having to tell him about Lucia and Theo.
This hasn’t happened since last year. It’s odd to be conscious of your mind disconnecting from your body while it’s happening. So I do what I did then. I say my prayer between the choked breaths. My eyes, my ears, my mouth, my heart. I gag again but as the words spill from my throat, my head feels lighter and I roll over so I am lying on my back. My whole being without reserve. My hand rests on my face and it’s only then that I feel the tears, warm and wet down my cheeks. I breathe out. The smell lessens. Guard me, as your property and possession.
I am so small compared to this universe, curled in this tight ball on the floor of a villa in Alassio. The smell is gone. Amen. I should be grateful it stopped when it did, I remind myself. People have it much worse. I say another prayer for them, before everything goes dark.
