Page 55 of I'll Look for You, Everywhere
‘I’ll hold him down,’ she yells out, probably realizing her version of whispering does nothing to keep a secret.
I walk slowly to the study. Hopefully, he’ll grow impatient and just leave before I come out.
‘Ow! Bitch!’
The chair squeaks again, and this time, I hear them laugh before I close the door.
32
THEO
‘How long does she take to change?’
I tap my foot nervously on the tile. But what I really want to do is storm into the study. Close the door. Drop to my knees and beg. Please don’t let this be for a date. I’m sorry I’m being so rude, but I know it’ll be better if I am. Just don’t go on a date. Go to the cinema, with Anika. Dressed nicely in her second-hand shirt. I’ll sneak in halfway through and sit in the row behind you to watch you watch the film. I promise I won’t speak. I just want to see you in the glow of the screen.
‘Anika.’ Magdalen’s voice is calm but firm as she calls out to my sister.
The little devil snorts beside me. ‘Yes, your majesty?’ Her foot taps excitedly against the tiles, meaning she has meddled.
‘I’m sorry, did you get rid of the clothes I added? Why are these shirts for infants, Anika?’ Magdalen’s voice is muffled, and I almost picture what she looks like trying on clothes. Almost.
‘Oh please, you weigh like, as much as a loaf of bread. Come out, I’m bored.’
‘You are a whore!’ Magdalen groans, and I almost smile but then remember why I’m here in the first place.
Magdalen’s footsteps are silent, so when I look up and see her standing underneath the archway, I’m startled.
‘Phantasma,’ I say under my breath, but Magdalen’s eyes narrow on me like I just called her a cunt. Obviously, she’s still upset.
‘Oh, fuck yeah.’ Anika circles Magdalen twice before grabbing her jeans and shimming them lower on her body. ‘And just a little... oh yeah, perfect. Now, one more thing. Gorgeous. I’m wet for you, baby.’
‘Disgusting,’ Magdalen says with false revulsion, but she tips her head back in laughter, exposing the delicate skin of her neck. I see her throat swallow, and it’s so hot that I have to grab the chair to keep myself from getting up.
‘Honestly don’t know why Theo’s even here. I’m so good!’ Anika steps aside from Magdalen, and I try to think of something to say.
She’s wearing dark, low-rise jeans, slightly below her belly button. My mouth goes dry. Focused on how her stomach looks when she breathes in. She has on a white T-shirt with a small pink cross in the middle of the stitching at the collar. Cropped. More stomach. More breathing. Fucking hell. She’s not wearing a bra again, the curves of her chest inescapable. To avoid gawking, I try to find a distraction. A crucifix hangs on the wall above the stove. My mother brought it home from an excavation in Miglionico before I was born. I can see the dust on his head from years of neglect. Magdalen has now slipped on Anika’s little heels, making her look impossibly tall. I drag my hand across my mouth to stop looking.
‘Up or down?’
‘Excuse me?’
Anika rolls her eyes. ‘Her hair. Up or down.’
If she wears it down, he could wrap his hands around her ponytail and tug her towards him for a kiss. I’ve done it before. I would do it now, if I could. If she wears it up, he’ll get to see that pretty little neck.
‘I don’t know. Or really care, if I’m being honest.’ Before I finish the sentence, I know I’ve made a mistake. Magdalen blinks at me for several seconds and then looks down.
‘Sorry, I just mean—’
But she interrupts me before I can apologize.
‘I’m sorry Anika made you endure these five terrible minutes. I can promise you, it won’t ever happen again.’ She musters a weak laugh and turns towards the stairs. ‘Anika, is your makeup in the bathroom upstairs?’
Anika looks at me for too long. I can feel her disappointment, anticipating what she’ll say.
‘Yeah,’ she yells to Magdalen, who’s halfway up the stairs, but keeps her eyes trained on me. ‘You need a belt. There’s one hanging behind my door.’
Asshole. But she speaks slowly. Desperately. ‘What the fuck happened to you?’
