Page 50 of I'll Look for You, Everywhere
I hear her shoes against the pavement, hear her dress glide against her thighs as she walks. And then I feel it. Her body right behind me, warm and soft without even touching me. My spine stiffens, wanting so fucking badly to lean into her, for her warmth to become my warmth, to share her softness. But I don’t move. I feel fingertips brush my shoulder, then press down, turning me to face her.
Magdalen stares into my eyes, her brows knitting together as she examines my stiff posture.
‘What happened to you?’ she questions. ‘One minute you were there and then it was like...’ She shakes her head, trying to piece together the words. ‘It was like you saw a ghost.’
The hand that was on my shoulder lifts and slowly comes to brush away a piece of hair that’s fallen in front of my face. Her touch is so light, so careful. I stifle a moan.
‘It’ll be hard to get a cab at this time.’ My voice sounds like the gravel in our driveway, cold and small. I try to look past her, but it’s impossible not to see her. Magdalen narrows her eyes, and suddenly her fingers are gripping my chin, forcing me to look at her.
‘I consider myself a woman with a bit of intelligence.’ She steps towards me. ‘I’m at Oxford, you know.’ Her grip doesn’t falter.
‘Yes, I know,’ I murmur.
‘I know what attraction looks like, or at least, what it’s supposed to look like,’ she stutters, her vulnerability exposed. But she continues closer, and I can feel the distance closing between us, a tangible force pulling us together until her breasts barely skim the buttons of my shirt. I should step back. I should turn away. I should chalk this up to drunken flirtation.
‘What do you want me to say, Magdalen?’ My voice comes out sharper than I mean. Beautiful Magdalen Savoy would run back to England if she knew the things I had done, the secrets I’ve locked away so well.
‘I don’t want you to say anything.’ She sighs, looking up at me with a frown. Her hand slowly releases my chin, her eyes meeting mine with heat. ‘I want you to kiss me.’
I blink. Air seeming to have left my lungs, I stumble backwards and try to laugh off her request, but it comes out as a weird groan. ‘Excuse me?’ My voice lowers. Maybe I misunderstood. Maybe she just confessed that she wanted me to kill her.
‘I want you to kiss me, Theo.’ There goes that fucking idea. Her eyes are bright even in the darkened archway.
‘Why me?’ The words rush out: ‘Magdalen, you could go up to anyone in this city and they’d devour you in a heartbeat.’ I try to remember the reasons I should turn back to the street to look for the cab that was so important three minutes ago.
‘I want you to devour me.’ She whispers it as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. ‘I want to kiss someone tonight, and I want it to be you.’ Letting my eyes fall to her lips, I moan, gazing at the perfect outline, instantly knowing it’s a mistake. But fuck it. Forgetting everything I’ve promised myself not to do, I step closer. Just for a minute. I’ll stay right here for just one minute, and then I’ll walk away. Lost in the slope of her nose, the dark shadows of her eyelashes. A minute passes. I keep staring, transfixed. Her eyelids flutter, and suddenly, I feel her try to step back.
‘Ok, I’ll take the silence as my cue.’ Her blush is so bright, I’m surprised I can’t feel her heat from here. ‘Sorry, I thought—’
It’s only then I realize I’ve just been staring at her without saying anything. As she tries to take another step back, I grab the back of her neck, pulling her to me.
‘Magdalen, don’t you even think about walking away.’ With my other hand, I slowly brush her cheek, admiring the soft dusting of freckles across her face, the one above her eyebrow, before pushing us both against the archway.
‘You’re killing me,’ I whisper. ‘You’re fucking killing me.’
‘I’m not the one who cornered me into a side street,’ she says breathily, humour bright in her eyes.
‘I’m not the one who asked me to fucking kiss them,’ I counter.
She laughs, exasperated. ‘It’s just a kiss. I’m not asking you to fuck me in the middle of Torino.’
‘Now there’s a thought,’ I murmur. Hearing her say those words is enough to do away with the small semblance of restraint I have.
My hips grind into her, knowing she can feel how hard I am, but I can’t find the will to care. For a selfish moment, I want her to know that I could hike her dress up and slip my fingers underneath the thin fabric and find how wet she is for me.
She started it.
‘You really shouldn’t say fuck around me.’ Dipping my head to her, my lips lightly graze hers, and an instant heat spreads through me, settling deep in my stomach. A hunger overpowers me. Feeling intoxicated with the humid heat and her scent of that fucking lavender, I stop myself from sinking my teeth into her neck just to taste how delicious I know she is. ‘I have an incredible imagination.’
She moans lightly, and it’s enough. My tongue licks her full bottom lip, hands wrapped around the base of her hair to get her as close as possible as I continue to explore her mouth in any way she’ll let me. Our bodies are flush against one another, each of us trying to get closer, and as if reading my mind, Magdalen arches her pelvis to press against my hardness, grinding against me as I trail my mouth down to her neck, marking her with bites along her soft skin.
‘Oh wow,’ she exhales.
‘That’s it,’ I growl, shifting so that my thigh tucks in between her legs, giving her access to the friction she wants as I continue to taste her lips. She sucks in a breath as her dress rides up her thighs; the only fabric separating her bare sex and my leg is the thin cotton of her underwear and these too-tight trousers. ‘Let me make you feel good, baby.’ Stealing a glance to look down between us, I groan loudly as I watch her hips grind against me. This should be illegal. This should be fucking illegal.
‘Baby?’ Magdalen laughs but I reach down, rubbing her with my finger this time, cutting her off. Magdalen bites her lip, hard. Eyelashes fluttering closed.
‘Are you laughing at me again?’ I say while rubbing her faster. I’m so fucking hard it’s difficult to stand up straight.
