Page 97 of Seal of Honor
“For as long as you’ll have me. You’re it for me.”
“Then why did you walk away?” And hurt me so badly. Although she didn’t say that part aloud, it was there, hanging in the air between them, palpable as if she had said it.
“Hell, I don’t know. Stupidity?”
“I won’t argue that.”
“And, uh…” He hesitated and cleared his throat. “And fear.”
Her SEAL, afraid? Somehow, she found that very difficult to believe. “Nothing scares you, sailor.”
“You do. Or what I feel for you does. It makes me raw. Exposed in ways that… Christ, I can’t even put it into words. I was terrified of keeping you. Terrified of losing you. I, uh, still am.” He lifted a hand to show her the slight tremor in it. “I’ve never been so goddamn frightened in all my life, but I couldn’t stay away. I’ve been miserable.”
Really, she shouldn’t be so petty that his confession made her giddy with a spiteful kind of glee. But she was, and it did. He’d been just as miserable this past month as she had, which almost made all the tears she’d spilled over him worth it.
Almost.
But she’d need ice water in her veins to stay mad at him after a confession as heartfelt as that.
“I tried to find you,” she told him. “When Bryson got out of the hospital, I went to D.C., and I even attended one of Raffi’s plays in New York, hoping he’d tell me where you were. He wouldn’t, buthe did say he’d talk with you.”
“Talk?” Gabe snorted. “Is that what he called it? Man, he reamed me a new one for walking away from you.”
“Hm. I like Raffi even more now than I did. And I liked him a whole lot before.”
“I knew you would. But it was actually Quinn who gave me the push I needed.”
Audrey didn’t bother hiding her disbelief. “Really?”
“He called me a coward, and he was right.” He pulled himself up further to wrap his arms around her waist and laid his head in her lap. “I wanted to come right away, but I had to take care of some business things first. I wanted at least a solid week with you without interruptions.”
God, that sounded like heaven.
“How’s your brother doing?” Gabe asked.
She sighed. “He’s back to normal, throwing himself into work. I suppose I shouldn’t complain. He does make a conscious effort to be there more for his sons. And for me. He even came to my show. But…. I don’t know. After everything, I expected more of a change, I guess.”
“Change is a hard thing to do.”
“Yes,” she agreed, “it is.”
And yet Gabe was willing to change his life by letting her into it. Oh God. She was not going to cry again.
Not. Going. To. Cry.
Instead, she forced herself to sound casual as she said, “Raffi mentioned that word’s getting out about your team’s success.”
Gabe winced and nuzzled her leg. “I wouldn’t call it a success. We still don’t know who was pulling Jacinto’s strings. No way he came up with the abduction all on his own, but the EPC has publicly denied involvement, and so have the other guerrilla organizations.”
“But you got the bad guys and saved my brother and started making a good reputation for your team. I’d call that a success.”
“Yeah, guess so.” He didn’t sound convinced. “We’ve been flooded with contract offers. Mostly private security gigs, but I haven’t accepted any yet and won’t for a while. The guys are going through some serious training first. They’re all at SERE school right now, except for Quinn. He’s setting up our new office in D.C.”
“SERE school?” She lifted an eyebrow at the relish in his tone. “Do I even want to know?”
“Survival, Evasion, Resistance, and Escape training,” he explained.
“Oh, that sounds… horrible.”
