Page 48 of Castle of the Cursed
“After listening to the news and reading through every book here, I learned that I found myself on a planet Earth, in a dimension that deems itself reality, where there is no such thing as magic. Or monsters.”
“Where are you from?” I chance, even though every time I’ve asked he’s refused to answer.
“I do not know.”
My gut hardens with distrust. “Sebastián—”
“My first memories are of this castle. I cannot remember anything before I appeared here. I know my past is within me, behind a spelled lock; I simply lack the key.”
I don’t know what to think. He claims to know nothing, not about his past, nor where he goes in the daytime. Either he’s admitting the truth, or he’s clinging to his secrets.
Or he and Beatríz are playing me.
“What about the memory of the blue bear?” I ask it in a whisper, but he snaps his gaze to me so fast that I know I struck a nerve.
“There are flickers of moments,” he says after a beat. “I have had flashes of another place, a world more savage than this one. I believe my memories are still within me, simply repressed by the spell. Yet I cannot trust anything, not even myself, because I cannot remember.”
He almost sounds tired. “If even I am not trustworthy, how can I trust anyone else?” he asks.
The question pierces my heart, encapsulating everything I’m feeling. I thought the shadow beast impenetrable and wholly unrelatable—but it turns out he’s the only being in the worlds who understands me.
“Then am I alive because of the protective spell, or because you want me around?” I ask.
Something like warmth softens his gaze, and he says, “You are alive because I hope to stave off madness.”
His silver gaze dips to my cheek, and I know he’s looking at my dimple. The warmth spreads to the rest of his expression, shifting the atmosphere between us. I flash to the way I felt when I saw him laugh, and I think this is the first time he’s made me smile.
It’s more likely he wants to stave off starvation, says the small, argumentative voice in my mind. It’s true that as long as I’m around, Sebastián has a blood source.
“I…” His voice drops out, and he closes his mouth, still staring at me in that softer way, a slight glaze in his eyes. As if he’s been hit in the head and left dazed. He seems unsure what he wants to say.
“I accept your offer of partnership,” he says at last, and I bite my lip to keep from gasping.
“And I vow not to touch you again without your consent.”
I check Beatríz’s room as soon as I wake up, but I don’t see any signs that she’s back.
Felipe’s family’s food cart stands empty in the kitchen. I open the fridge to find that everything has been stowed inside in a wall of colorful plastic containers that vary in shape and size. It reminds me of Tetris.
Seeing this gesture of Sebastián’s makes me feel more taken care of than anything my aunt has done until this point. If I couldn’t get the shadow beast out of my head before, he now consumes my every brain cell.
Even though I now believe him to be real, he still feels like mine. Especially since I first saw him in my dreams, and I’m the only person who can perceive him—plus, he’s trapped in this castle with me.
I’ve never had a boyfriend or a best friend or even a pet, and I wonder if this sense of emotional possession is part of what makes someone feel yours.
We’re just partners on the same case, the small voice reminds me, and my mind flits to Dad’s dozen axioms. Raul’s Rule #8: Whatever you do, never make a case personal.
As I pluck my last clean sweatshirt, I note that I’m going to need to do laundry soon. The top feels a little loose on me, and I realize it’s the one Nurse Leticia gave me to use the last time I visited FBI Headquarters. At the thought of her, I feel the dagger’s hilt in my grip as I drove it into my chest—
I squeeze my eyes shut, as if that will blind me to the memory. Lety would be horrified by what I did.
I’m horrified.
Last night, it didn’t feel real. I was so sure that Sebastián would save me. But in the light of day, I’m terrified of myself, what I did, what I might be capable of.
I don’t want to be alone right now. What I really need is a friend.
Even though I saw a side of Felipe I didn’t like, he’s still my friend. My experience with the concept may only come from books and television, but I know that friendship means accepting a person as they are, flaws and all.
