Page 46 of Castle of the Cursed
The only thing tethering me to life right now is my desire to know the truth about the Subway 25 and my parents’ and my past in Oscuro. But what’s left for me on Earth after these mysteries are solved?
Felipe said it himself: a lifetime in this castle with my awful aunt. So what am I even holding on to? Who cares if I stay or go? I don’t have parents anymore.
The tears race each other down as I see Mom’s right dimple and Dad’s bushy brows. It’s amazing how fast the world ends: one instant your parents are alive, the next they’re dead.
I’m nothing more than a ghost with unfinished business.
Like Sebastián, I might as well do whatever it takes to get answers. Otherwise, what’s the point?
“I’m tired,” I say, walking away from him as calmly as I can.
But my heart echoes through my body as I pass the crate of daggers, betraying me.
BOOM. BOOM. BOOM.
I know Sebastián hears the beating. I have no idea how my body will react once the blade is in my hand, if I’ll be able to go through with it… But it’s now or never.
So before the shadow beast can figure out what I’m doing, I yank out a hilt—
And drive the dagger into my heart.
CHAPTER 12
PRESSURE BUILDS IN MY CHEST, and I can’t feel the blade or see Sebastián or hear what’s happening. Just like on the subway, the darkness around me is opaque and all-consuming.
But is it black smoke? Or have I blacked out?
A young girl is giggling and counting off in Spanish. “Uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco, seis, siete—”
I can’t see her, but I know she’s me, back when I lived in this castle.
Young me is playing hide-and-seek. My parents said it was my favorite game as a child. Win or lose, that was never the point; I cared about the challenge. Dad used to make fun of how upset I’d get whenever he or Mom didn’t choose a difficult enough hiding spot.
I roll my head into a muscled chest, and I know it’s Sebastián when I inhale a snowy night. His scent fills my lungs with breath, and I cough out the bad air.
As the fumes fade, the dungeon blinks back into focus. The shadow beast is so close, I can see every smooth pane of his face.
The pressure in my chest is still there, and I look down. Sebastián’s hand is between the blade and my breast. The dagger’s point hasn’t even broken his skin.
“Why did you do that?” His voice is thinner than I’ve heard it.
My heart rattles the walls of its cage. “You said intention mattered.”
“So you want to die?”
I flinch from both the words and the force of their delivery. He steps away from me, and even though he produces no body heat, I feel colder without his touch.
Neither of us says anything for a few breaths.
“What do you want, Estela?”
When he says my name, a small bud inside me flowers.
“I want the same thing you want from me,” I say. “The truth.”
I cross my arms, hugging myself to cover my exposed bra from when he ripped my turtleneck—and also because I need it after what just happened.
I can’t slow down to think about what I did, or I’ll break.
