Page 55 of Flock
“Only people with a pulse.”
He chews his food slowly and looks at me pointedly. “My blood is red, I assure you. It’s the same blood that runs through your veins.”
“I’m nothing like you.”
“You have one sharp tongue.”
“Don’t pretend to care, Roman. Why make me a part of all this at the last minute if you really didn’t want me in your life? Why give me anything at all, if you could just write a check and be done with me?”
He slowly lifts his tumbler to his lips and takes a sip. “Maybe I have regrets on how I handled things with you.”
“Maybe?”
“I do.” He sets his glass down and presses his napkin against his mouth. “Excuse me. I have business.”
“Great talking to you, Sir.”
I’m most definitely about to start my period, and I’m sure this shark smells it. I would feel bad if it wasn’t Roman Horner on the receiving end of my attitude. But tonight, I’m over the bullshit pretense.
He pauses at the doorway and then turns to me. He waits until our eyes connect before he speaks. “I gave you my last name because I had hoped to be a father to you. One day, I realized I never would be, and the least I could do was care for you financially. I’m handing you my life’s work because of my failure. All I ask is that you play a small part. I know it doesn’t make up for it, but it’s all I’ll ever have to give you.”
“Did you love my mother?” I ask hoarsely, damning the budding emotion. “Have you ever loved anyone?”
He grimaces, his eyes fixed somewhere in the past as he stares through me. “I tried.” With that confession, he leaves me at the table.
I do my best to ignore the sting behind my eyes and the tear that falls because of it. That was it. I know it in my soul. That will be the one and only confession my father ever gives me about the way he feels about me.
After years of wondering, I finally have my answer.
He tried.
My father just admitted he didn’t love me.
I wipe the tear from my face with my finger and study it. Roman Horner probably would have preferred an abortion to an heir, and he thinks an inheritance will redeem him in some fucked up way.
I smash the hope-filled tear I didn’t know I was harboring between my fingers and finally give myself permission to hate him. Just more proof that the fantasies of a masochistic heart are much better than any experience with the real thing.
With that knowledge, I retreat.
Chapter Nineteen
So be it. It’s been days since the texts stopped, and I’m still convincing myself I’m fine with it. If Sean can’t deal with me standing my ground about his own shitty behavior, we’re already a lost cause.
I fell for every line his beautiful lips fed me. Only to feel slapped.
I caught myself just in time.
To make shitty matters worse, my plant bully has taken it upon herself to make my days more grueling, taunting me in Spanish that I can’t understand in the breakroom, and all but smashed me into the wall when we punched out last night. She’s got it in for me, and she’s making it known shift by shift. The last thing I need to do is report it to my supervisor, who I’m actively avoiding.
I smooth on more lotion and kick back in the lounger, feeling the tingle of the sun on my skin. A much-needed day off alone is exactly what I need to recharge. I just wished my libido would do me the solid of agreeing.
Sean woke that part of me up again, and now it refuses to be ignored. Day in, day out, I’m constantly in a place where the throb won’t cease and my new craving reminds me of what I’m missing.
I’ll be thankful when I outgrow my teenage hormones, but I have to woman up early because I’m no longer dating boys.
Restless from another uneventful day, I close my eyes after my third attempt to get into a novel, certain it’ll take me more than seven days to break my new bad habit.
A tidal wave of water covers me, and I shriek from where I lay, jerking to sit up, and when I do, I see none other than Dominic appear from beneath the rolling surface. Water pours from him as he stands to his full height a second before my view is blocked by the man who I spent the last week ghosting but who continues to haunt my every thought.
