Page 36 of Faith for the Cowboy
“I have, Mom.” Harper swallowed to push down the emotion rising in her chest. She wished she could keep the mood light, but she had to say what was on her heart. “Mom, I’m sorry that I left after Noah died. Looking back, I can see how much that must have hurt you. I didn’t mean for that to happen. It’s just that I lost my brother and my best friend, and I didn’t think anyone could understand how I felt. So I ran away. I guess I thought that without Noah, our family wasn’t really a family anymore.”
Mom sniffed as a tear slid down her cheek. “It was such a hard time. I wanted to come after you and bring you home, but your father and I both knew we needed to let you process this in your own way. We couldn’t believe that you still wanted to be around rodeo events, but I see now that you were just trying to keep his memory alive.”
“It was hard to be at the rodeos, but I felt like if I wasn’t there, I might forget what he was like. When I watch other bull riders, it terrifies me, but they jump off or fall, and when their back is to me, for just a second, it’s almost like it’s Noah.” She shook her head. “But I’m letting that go. Noah isn’t at the rodeo; he’s in heaven with Jesus. I’ll see him again one day. Until then, I’m glad I have photos of him doing what he loves, and I have his memory in my heart.”
Mom moved onto the floor and wrapped Harper in a hug. “I’m so thankful we had him. He was a light in this world, and he made everyone smile. He would be so glad to know that you are ready to move on with your life.”
Harper pulled back and nodded as she wiped at her tears. “I know he would. Now I just need to figure out what moving on looks like.”
“Keep asking God. I know He will show you in His perfect timing.”
Harper hugged Mom again. “You’re right. And I’m sure whatever we do next, we will go together.”
26
Harper put her camera strap over her neck and grabbed her equipment bag. Smiling as she walked toward the arena, she whispered a prayer of thanks. “God, thank You for this season in my life. Photographing rodeos has been such an adventure and a joy. Thank You for whatever You have for me next.”
Her phone buzzed, and she paused to pull it out of her back pocket. The message from her mom read: Good luck tonight. We miss you already and can’t wait to see you soon.
Harper smiled as she typed out a quick response. I can’t wait either.
It had been a wonderful week visiting with her parents. She stayed up late watching old TV shows with her dad, and enjoyed talking with her mom while they sipped coffee on the front porch in the mornings. She had spent the days going through the belongings in her room and searching job listings and house listings. Every day she prayed that God would lead her where He wanted her to be. So far, she hadn’t found anything that seemed right, but she felt God’s peace in her heart and knew He had something waiting for her.
Waiting had never been her strong point, but she hoped she was making good use of the time.
The ground under her feet turned from the pavement of the parking lot to the dirt of the rodeo arena. She wrinkled her nose at the familiar smell of dirt, sweat, and animals. Harper gave a half smile. “I’ll miss this,” she said to no one in particular. She might not know what was next, but she knew this was her last rodeo.
After she moved inside and met the event coordinator, she began her usual routine of moving around and taking practice shots. A group of cowboys gathered in the corner of the ring, and she snapped a few photos. As she checked the images on the back of her camera, she heard footsteps behind her.
“Capture anything good?”
Harper froze at the sound of the familiar voice. Was it really him? Or was she imagining things because she wished it was him? Her heart thundered so that she felt it could be heard throughout the arena, and she slowly turned.
She gasped while her hand flew to her open mouth. There he was, looking every bit the part of a real rodeo cowboy. “Lawson,” she said just above a whisper.
“Hi,” he said. He looked unsure of his next move, and Harper wondered if he would close the distance between them. She took the first step toward him. That seemed to be the permission he was waiting on. Lawson rushed to her, and they practically crashed together as she wrapped her arms around his neck and he embraced her in his arms.
“Harper,” he said against her ear, making her feel as if she might melt into him right there. “I’ve missed you so much.”
“I’ve missed you too.” Harper swallowed and pulled back, composing herself. Seeing him now didn’t mean anything had changed. She had known when she came to a rodeo in Texas there was a possibility he would be here to compete. She looked him up and down, gripping her camera to keep her hands busy. “How is everything? How’s your dad doing?”
Lawson smiled. “Somehow, I knew that would be your first question. I guess you’ll just have to ask him yourself in a little while.”
Harper’s eyes grew wide. “They’re coming?”
“They sure are. The whole family.”
“Really?” Harper smiled. “So you told them.”
Lawson nodded. “It was crazy for me to keep it a secret that long.”
“How did they take it?”
“They weren’t as surprised as I thought they would be, and you were right. They wanted to support me and do what they can to help.”
“I’m so glad.” Harper bit her lip, trying to keep the million questions in her mind from exploding out.
“Harper, a lot has changed since you left. I’ve had a lot of time to think and read…” he paused and looked her directly in the eyes. “And pray.”
