Page 31 of Faith for the Cowboy
"Hey Lawson," Sawyer said. "Come have a seat." Lawson looked around at all six of his brothers sitting at the table. His dad had taken his place at the head of the table for the first time since he had arrived home, and his mom sat beside him holding his hand. He couldn’t tell what the look on her face meant. It was a mixture of care and sadness. Surely, they didn’t have bad news about Dad. "Is everything okay? Are you alright?"
"Yes, I’m fine. Come have a seat. We want to talk to you.”
"Me? Or all of us?”
"Specifically, this is about you, but it pertains to all of you." Lawson reluctantly took a seat and glanced around at his brothers. They looked more relaxed than he felt. "Am I the only one out of the loop?" he asked.
"Well, you were the only one we thought might not come if we told you ahead of time," Jenson said, lightening the mood.
Lawson knew he was right, so he didn’t argue. "Alright, well, let’s get on with it," he said.
"Boys, we wanted to talk to you all together. We’re sorry that we couldn’t include the wives too. But we needed to talk without all the kids here, and we weren’t sure how to make that happen. We hope that you will tell them this is not a secret from them and that you will share all the information we talk about." Dad glanced at Mom, and she gave him a reassuring nod. "We love all of you so much. We love the life that we have built. We’re so grateful to God for the gift of this ranch and this home and our family. We have grown here, loved here, fought here, played here, and worked here, and it’s been everything I ever dreamed of. Now we’ve come to realize that maybe it’s not everything that you dreamed of. Maybe it is. I know some of you have expressed that you want to live and work on the ranch and have no desire to do anything else. But we want to open the door to tell you that you are not bound to this. You never signed a contract. You never asked for a job. So if you have other dreams or aspirations, or if you just don’t want to live on family land for the rest of your life, you are free to do so. We love having you here, and you have a job and a place to live for as long as you want. But you are not required to work and live here to be part of this family."
Lawson stared at his dad and then glanced around at his brothers. "Dad, I know you’re saying this because of me. I’m sorry that I ever said anything. I love being here. I don’t know why I said the things that I did." Deep down, Lawson knew this wasn’t true. He really meant his words.
“We understand," Colton said. "I know how you feel. I spent a long time feeling like nobody cared what I did, and they only saw me as the little brother who followed along behind everybody else. There were times I considered leaving too.”
"It’s not the same thing," Lawson said, knowing it was time to open up. "Yeah, we like to boss you around, but at least people know your name. When you’re somewhere in the middle, you’re just one of those Macklin boys. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had people say, 'You’re a Macklin, right?' but not even know who I am. Sawyer’s in charge, Jenson runs the barn, Hawk does the auctions, even Katie and Sierra have their own jobs here. I just don’t like feeling like a hired worker."
Sawyer reached out and put a hand on his shoulder. "I understand. Really, I do. I’m sorry that we made you feel that way; you’re very important to us. If you have ideas or something that you want to start here on the property, we’d be happy to support it. But you have to let us know. We do need workers to do the day-to-day stuff, and we all pitch in with that, but if you want your own thing, it’s okay to say so.”
Lawson swallowed to push down the lump in his throat. "Well, I have kind of started my own thing, but it doesn’t have anything to do with the ranch." His brothers raised their eyebrows and glanced at each other to see if anyone knew what he was talking about.
"Well, tell us about it," Mom encouraged.
"I know you’re not going to believe this, and Mom and Dad, you probably aren’t going to like it, but I want to tell you the truth. I’ve started competing in rodeos."
Mom’s hand flew to her mouth. Everyone else remained silent, and Lawson held his breath, waiting for anyone to respond. Slowly, Mom snickered. She giggled, pressing her hand over her mouth, but finally gave way and laughter bubbled out of her. His brothers started to laugh too, and finally, Lawson’s face broke into a smile. He laughed, even though he wasn’t sure what was so funny. After a few minutes, Mom swiped the happy tears off her cheeks and admitted, “I always knew you’d probably end up there.”
Lawson let his hand fall on the table loudly in shock. "You did? Then, if you’re okay with it, why did you always tell me no?”
"Well, I guess I always hoped that you wouldn’t. But you’re an adult. You’ve been riding horses your entire life. If you’ve decided you want to ride bulls or broncos, I think you have the experience to know what you’re doing and to decide that for yourself.”
"Then what’s so funny?" Lawson asked.
"Oh, I’m not sure," Mom said. "I guess it’s the thought that you were so afraid of what your mom and dad would say when you’re a grown man that you would keep it a secret. How long have you been doing this?”
Lawson blushed. "I started training with Riley six months ago, but I competed in my first rodeo not too long ago. To be honest, that’s how I met Harper.”
Jenson pounded a hand down on the table. "I knew that you must have already known her when she was here for the event.”
Lawson hung his head sheepishly. "I met her just before that. Although that was the first time we really talked. But I was competing in the rodeo in Dallas when the tornado came through. I had just finished my ride when I knew it was going to get bad.”
"So did you win?" Colton asked.
Lawson laughed. "Not even close. I think I lasted six seconds. But it was better than the time before that. So maybe I’m improving.”
"When is your next event?" Sawyer asked.
Lawson shrugged. "I don’t know. There’s a lot to be done around here, so maybe I don’t need to think about that right now.”
"Son, that’s why we’re here tonight," Dad said. "If this is something you want to do, we will handle things here." He chuckled. "Of course, when I say ‘we’ I mean your brothers.”
Laughter filled the room. "Dad’s right," Jenson said. "We’re sorry we never asked if you wanted to be here. You know working with the horses is all I’ve ever wanted to do.”
Titus laughed. "Yeah, once you finally touched one after being deathly afraid of them.”
Jenson punched Titus’ arm. "Yeah, yeah. That’s when I finally realized how much I loved them. I have never regretted being here working on the ranch. I can honestly say I don’t want to be anywhere else. But if I had grown up in a family of lawyers and everyone assumed I was going to law school, I would probably feel pressured to do that instead of what I really wanted. So this is everyone’s chance to be honest.”
